What to Do....
posted July 17th, 2012 at 9:32 PM
with the emotionally unstable co-worker? The one who feels victimized by people, plants, devices, food, the flu, animals, the air that we breathe and the small glitches that life dishes to all of us on a day to day basis? The basic "how are you?" is a victimized tale of woe....you try to escape....you attempt the good old "maybe you should look at it this way"........but the voice gets high pitched and you just know that the inner child tears are about to emerge.....you are not a therapist and, well, that didn't go well for this person either.....turn the corner, there they are telling a tale of woe to their prey hoping that someone will fill them with the pity they so desperately need to satisfy the instability........I have compassion, however, I just want to go to work and do work stuff, smile, "good morning", "yeah, that was funny", "oh, good for you!", sit in the sunshine and eat lunch, go do more work stuff, giggle a little with someone in passing and then go home. I practice the art of avoidance, however, now the emotionally unstable one is on to me............it's only a matter of time before I become a subject upon which they have been victimized.......
18 CommentsPost a Comment
Jul 18, 2012 at 1:28am
Wow, just went through that shit, and it's to bad because it is a great place to work and this [person doesn't realize how much she is adored.
Jul 18, 2012 at 7:01am
It's not easy, especially when the unstable co-worker and everyone in the office IS a therapist.
Jul 18, 2012 at 7:31am
Do you have an HR person/dept? Go to them and tell them your concerns -- sounds like your coworker needs some mental heath attention. If they are truly unstable (and not just needy or a narcissist) they may be heading for a worse episode.
Jul 18, 2012 at 8:08am
Sounds like your projecting and a crappy co-worker hope you get the same treatment in return . Shame on you , what does empathy cost u ?
Jul 18, 2012 at 9:02am
Giving advice to a sound mind is something of great value. However advice the wrong advice worthless. The healthy mind cannot win against a unhealthy mind. For years I wandered through life with a mental illness but due to a lack of education many people chalk a certain behaviour down to something else, something logical. It sounds like this person has a mood or personality disorder. The only good advice is to tell them to see a doctor. This issue is far adove your head but please don't blame the victim for being sick. Help set this person free.
Jul 18, 2012 at 9:42am
You can't really do anything for this person, except be their victim. Sad thing is, if you give them time in the mistaken belief that it will help them to unload, it won't help them. My view is its like giving $$to a drug addict. You lose, and so do they. Sounds like munchhausens syndrome, but a professional would be the one to find out. The only thing you can do is discuss with compassion with HR, this is a medical problem and can be treated. What you need to do is take care of yourself, and not to carry burden of their disability. Ironically, in that way you will probably be of more help to this troubled soul.
Jul 18, 2012 at 11:22am
My ex was like this. Him against the world. Even the smallest things, say he lost a sock, were enough to cause a meltdown. Frick, that was tiring. So glad that I am free from that. Hope you don't get sucked in like I did.
Jul 18, 2012 at 11:38am
@ COACH Once again you are dispensing very bad advice. I used to enjoy reading the comments you would leave and was interested in what you had to contribute. I felt your opinions could provide some insight but not so much anymore. You clearly don't know what you are talking about - this is not the first time you have done this.
Jul 18, 2012 at 12:21pm
It's probably better they bitch to you. I had a boss who attempted to keep a lid on all his problems and the result of that was his taking some time about once or twice a week to lock the office door, sit inside and cry. It was especially awkward since there was a window and we could see him as well as hear him.
Jul 18, 2012 at 12:50pm
Interesting comment @charlize. Am interested in your take on this, and what of what I said you view isn't helpful. Thanks.
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