Rites of Passage

Not everyone has kids, gets married, falls in love, or grows old. But everybody dies. For those closest to me, I didn’t think the possibility would come so soon. It’s always been someone distant. How could I think it would never happen? Mortality is only a matter of time, for any of us. This is the way of things. No thing continues forever. Memento Mori

Bus fuss

I never sit in the rear-facing seats on the bus anymore because more and more people are putting their dirty shoes on the seats. I get that public places are "dirty", and Sheldon Cooper's "bus pants" are definitely a thing, but I don't know when (younger) people completely lost respect for public places. Some of these people are even in their 30's. I'm in my 40's and everybody in my "generation" got smacked a new one by our parents or any elders nearby if we ever dared put our feet on the seat. Yesterday I saw a high schooler completely splayed out across the back row of bus seats. I saw where the shoes were, so I guess I won't be sitting in the back row anymore either.

Hate the blues

Im talking about the music. I really hate it. It sounds so freaking boring and redundant. Sadly, one of my best friends is ALL ABOUT the blues and wont shut up about it. I mean, I respect pretty much any musician, but man... the blues sucks.

Best gift I’ve ever given

I give gifts all the time: birthday gifts, shower gifts, celebration gifts, wedding gifts. I try to be thoughtful and generous in my gift giving, but I don’t expect my gifts to have any long-term impact on the receive. Great some happiness and move on. My sister has struggled with infertility for years. She asked me to be an egg donor and I agreed. She was successful and is now due in the Spring. I cannot describe to you how good it makes me feel to know that my gift changed her life. We come from a conservative culture/family, so only she, her partner and myself know about it.

Can't seem to make myself heard

When others speak, I listen. Interrupting is not my thing and I can't bring myself to do it. It feels like the world is built for those who are loud, can unapologetically talk over others, and respond quickly. Conversations often move too fast for me to chime in, so I appear meek and quiet. Am I the only one?


When someone says "2020 has been hard on everyone" it feels like they are telling me to "suck it up". It was harder on some people than others and could always be worse.

I could never be happy around my Mother

Every time I'm joking with family members or describing something I'm passionate about, my Mother will make it a point to strike it down. I'm not even finished my sentence and she starts describing a future doctor's appointment she has, or medical issue she's going through. I can tell a joke, the room can be in a steady laugh, and she'll start describing her colonoscopy. She relishes in other people's misery. She enjoys watching people's faces change from happy to anxious. This is something that can never change as I've spoken to her about it hundreds of times. It was a lot worse when I was a kid and my Dad passed away, I became her emotional dumping ground. Even seeing her once a week these days, she still squeezes in her entertainment of my misery. Needless to say, I'm not going to miss that after she's gone.

Complete Shit Show

I met a really sweet girl recently and I have a gigantic crush on her. She told me the other night that she’s too fucked up emotionally to get into anything serious. I have a feeling it’s not as much that as it is the fact I’m a raging alcoholic and hang out with crazy, toxic losers who do piles of drugs and get in fights. Time to clean up my act and get new friends.

It feels weird

Soon after the pandemic started I started washing all my groceries as soon as I got home. I live with a frail senior with many serious health issues and was terrified that I would bring covid into the house on the groceries. For almost a year now I have been washing all my groceries with soap and water and throwing out all the cardboard boxes that products come packaged in. This usually takes me one and a half hours to do after a large shop. I know that my fears are largely irrational but I can't seem to stop. I know it's a massive waste of time and probably unnecessary but I have come to the conclusion that I will probably continue doing this until both of us have been vaccinated.

I think

my 90 year-old grandma is an ass hole. She lives alone in the huge West Van property that my grandfather paid for, collecting his pension, while the rest of the family struggles to get by in Vancouver. She is completely dependent on my parents and makes them drive across the city twice a week to bring her groceries and do chores around the house. She has no friends and fights with people all the time. She tried to tell me that I should move in with her and became extremely angry when I politely refused. Everything is about her and she does nothing for anyone.


Alastair, the Drive

You thought I was Alastair. My dog loved you. I'd like to get to know you?


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