I don't like being run into or squished or sat on or stepped on. I prefer to navigate through space safely and efficiently, as I hope all citizens do. But, not being aware and respectful of other people in public space seems to be a trending phenomenon. Have we become a society of rude people? Do we need etiquette police? I just don't understand this.
To get rid of my work-stress related tight shoulders, I saw my masseuse and she helped my discomfort. On my way out, I saw a very exhausted-looking, worn-down middle aged man, eyes closed, with his feet in a warm bath. He was just about to get a foot massage. He looked like he was working a physical job like warehouse or construction. I am an office worker but in a toxic work environment where I can’t sleep at night. We are 2 very different people. But we are workers. It made me realize how us working class people are put through the meat grinder at work, every day, to bring in paycheques to pay for our endless bills: food, rent, mortgage, gas, fees, etc. We rely on support services like massage and therapy just to get through the daily grind of the rat race for survival. Used and ground down to the bone, to make money for others. I have no answers but when I saw that man, I saw myself too, and felt really frustrated that this work life is not all that enjoyable and wondered what is the point of being in shitty jobs.
If someone you love/have a huge crush on ups and dumps you for whatever reason... It may sting like a bitch now, but several years down the road, when you find yourself either with the person of your dreams and/or doing wonderful things off somewhere, you'll say to yourself: "good riddance, thank god things didn't fall through with that ex!" Trust me, it's one of the most empowering eureka moments one can have. All break ups, whether we want to believe it or not, are caused by BOTH parties. Learn to accept that you're just as flawed as the other, learn from that, and just move on. New doors always, always open, if you're eyes are open to seeing them, that is.
So many of our personal opinions are based on what our family traditions taught us. Like we grow up doing things a certain way, or our parents did so and so and thought such and such, so that’s how things must be done. People judging others because they do things differently mostly comes down to these ingrained beliefs I think. We all do this to a certain extent, but it’s important to at least be aware of this bias we have because of it, and be open to other ways of thinking. I tried to get my former partner to understand that different doesn’t mean wrong, but he couldn’t grasp that concept. His whole family was the same way. They all think they’re better than everyone else and that their way of doing things is the “right” way, so if you don’t do what they do you have to be taught. They’re completely incapable of self awareness, every one of them. It’s as if they’re encased in a bubble of self-righteous ignorance, making reason impossible. I finally stopped trying to explain or justify how I felt or how I did things, because if I didn’t fall into line with their beliefs, obviously I had to be wrong. The patronizing attitude was insufferable. An entire family of narcissists.
There are so many things that I should be doing, I should be accomplishing, ways I can be helping, ways I can be of service to others, ways I can demonstrate kindness and helpfulness. And I get overwhelmed. So I procrastinate. And the procrastination makes me feel even more overwhelmed. So I procrastinate. And time marches on.
I had a vivid dream that the woman ive been madly in love with since 2017 walked up and asked me to join her for coffee.
Then pow, i wake up.
She knows, she knows.
Nothing shocks and angers a manipulative person more than when the target of their abuse stops falling for the tactics. It took me way too long (20+ years!) to really accept that they did not deserve the benefit of the doubt that I always allowed them, but I finally learned. So now their sad face and their protestations of confusion, ignorance, and innocence leave me cold. I know exactly what they’re doing and why. I know it’s nothing but a ruse to lure me into engaging with them so they can employ the same tactics as always. To try to confuse me and make me doubt my own perceptions. They didn’t change, but I did. Once you’ve really seen the reality, you can’t un-see it. Life is so much more peaceful now.
If you find something valuable that’s obviously been lost by someone else, and you keep it without trying to get it back to its rightful owner, you’re no better than a thief. You’re a greedy thief. At least make an effort to return it! You can post it on CL lost and found or on your local Facebook group, whatever. But just keeping it for yourself is a really shitty thing to do and that karma is going to bite you in the butt someday.
You're giving away your last name soon. And I have a feeling that I was uninvited by your lovely bride to be. It was so interesting watching that unfold. How you told me you would never date a female like her, and now look at you two, about to tie the knot. Why did you change your mind? Is it because she still lives with her parents? You know, so many of our friends thought you and I would end up together. I really messed it up. Dare I say that I hated you at first? But in the last two years you're all I can think about. All I feel when you're around. There's a strange and intriguing pull I feel when you're in the room. I guess maybe in another lifetime. For now, I will say thank you for showing me what a fine young gentle wise husband looks like. I will never tell you this irl but you will be the person I compare men to when I go on dates. If anything you gave me that, so thank you.
Playing games with love. Specifically, self-love. Self-esteem. Confidence. Encouragement. Sometimes you don't get any of that growing up. Not even a scrap. Sometimes a person has to figure out how to give that to themselves. And I haven't.