Confessions

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Software developer life

I work at a fancy university and get paid poverty wages. I think I'm going to quit and move to another city so I don't have to live in a basement suite like I've failed at life. Man, this city is messed up. The corporations are bad too. They don't recognize how badly they pay people.

Story of my Life

The minute I dump ‘em they get their shit together. Glad I could be of service. For once it would be nice if they could just not lose the best thing they’ve got. When will you people learn? Oh and if you had to “think” about whether this person was the love of your life, they probably weren’t.

Food!

I confess that I am a woman who likes to eat. Every time I go out for a bite with a girlfriend, first they'll tell me how hungry they are, then, when they get their food, will take two dainty bites and get the rest to go. Meanwhile, I scarf down my food and finish my plate. I've gone to restaurants where I'd just be starting my meal and the waitstaff will come over and ask if I was done and wanted it wrapped to go, it's weird. I don't know if women are conditioned to act this way, like they can't wait to get home and finish their meal away from judgy eyes. Screw what people think, life is short, get whatever pleasure you can out of it. (And yes, I know it's covid, only with people in my bubble and outdoor patios if possible)

I’m finally getting it!

I confess: I’m a little slow on the uptake. It’s just now occurred to me that my boyfriend has been completely playing me when it comes to his financial contribution to our relationship. Instead of him paying for his fair share of the expenses I incur because we spend 100% of our time at my place (we don’t live together) and he doesn’t pay for anything except buying a few groceries (not even close to half of what he actually uses), instead he “gifts” me money for other things. For example, instead of him paying a percentage of rent, food and sundries, utilities, etc, he’ll just randomly give me some money for a specific purpose. Such as “for gas”, or a specific clothing item. That way he gets to regularly find ways to bring his “largesse” into the conversation, as if he’s done me this huge favour and he can see himself as such a generous and good guy. I can’t believe that it’s taken me this long to truly understand this.

too much screen time

I sure would like to reduce my phone use, detox, dopamine fast, and everything... at the same time, computers are what got me to where I am in life. They're the one thing I'm really good at. All I have other than that is some amateur musical ability. Where to go from here?

what do you do

when you know your husband or boyfriend so well that you can tell he's checking out younger girls when you go for walks when they aren't making it blatantly obvious. I mean he doesn't think I notice and I'm not going to bring it up since it sounds completely ridiculous but it does make me feel like shit.

Lust Not a Valid Excuse

Most people have that traumatic event they can blame their misfortunes on. Abusive childhoods, crazy ex-spouses, addictions, whatever. Something major. I don't have anything like that. I just saw a pair of long olive legs and something primal said I gotta have that, and the person attached to the legs said NO, and I've been reeling from it for about a decade. But it's not really the kind of pain origin story you can socially unload on people without being ridiculed.

I’m a straight guy

And what with the creeps & stuff nowadays.....I don’t bother saying hi to any women I don’t know nor do I even look at them, in fact I hardly go out anymore, it’s just not worth it (btw I don’t even say hi to men or look at them either)

A lot of people are disappointing.

Covid has taught me that people will fuck you over for a roll of toilet paper. They can be nice and thoughtful and kind but as the pandemic starts to end they are returning to “normal”; bitter, critical assholes, putting some serious hard labor into looking for the tiniest flaw to get over-angry about.

Adult male dressing goth

But I think people are mistaking me for preppy because I have black pants on all the time..... and everyone wears shades of grey in Vancouver during the winter anyways... so... I have to start wearing mascara and eye-shadow again to make them understand.

I SAW YOU

Love at first aid

You share a name with a city. I’m tall with red hair and wore a black hat. I bandaged you up in...