Confessions

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The Watering Hole

Years ago I spent a lot of time at this place. There were regulars and the music playing had a particular sound. There’s a way people dress when you go and everyone speaks a similar way. I’d drink what the patrons were having and talk about spirits. It felt like my whole life was there. And then I just…stopped going. Now when I am exposed to anything that has the faintest whiff of that place I get the heebie-jeebies. What I see looking in from the outside of those memories scares me and I will never go back to church.

Torn

Love him to pieces but that future mother-in-law? Can't even

Highly Selective

I've become increasingly selective about who I will keep in my life. I have way fewer relationships than I used to, but they are much more satisfying. I no longer tolerate a lot of behaviours socially, and I am left only with people who truly value me. This includes family! Waste my time regularly? Bigoted? Take advantage of those with less than you? Ignore my clear boundaries? Bye. I've been told that I'm harsh for being willing to cut people off easily. I see it more as saving us both time, as I'm never going to be compatible with that person and will never be happy with our relationship. Not putting up with people because I "should" is the most empowering thing I've ever done.

Oohf

My resentment stems from my inability to act on my own needs.

Phone Battery

I spend a lot of time answering the phone. The first two seconds of a call reveal what kind it will be. Flattery generally means someone wants something from you, likely a salesperson. Rambling means it’s going to be a long call. Background chatter and muffled rustling - a butt dial. But the worst call starts with the phrase, ‘You people’. It normally foretells a snide over generalized and paranoid one sided conversation where the caller emotionally dumps their putrid baggage they’ve been specially fermenting. Just. For. You. Of course you’re never allowed to fight back. You must kindly tell the person on the line that their language is inappropriate and let them know you will be hanging up. That response never sat well with me. I have yet to think of something better.

Just Music & Me

I've spent the whole day inside so far just listening to music. Peaceful.

Not so simple

When someone shares a traumatic experience with you, telling them that you would never tolerate that or that you don’t understand why they still love that person isn’t at all helpful. Those situations are far more complicated than most people realize. Love / hate happens all the time, and usually it happens when someone has been abused as a child. They don’t know what “normal” looks like. For example, they got sexually abused by someone they were taught to love, like a parent or grandparent. That person isn’t awful to them all the time, so they wind up feeling so confused and conflicted. They grow up and encounter other people who abuse them, but not all the time and they don’t know what normal is so it feels like love hurts, and they keep trying to do things differently so that person will treat them right, because they’re used to being blamed for their own mistreatment. So instead of immediately jumping to that conclusion and judging that person for being in that type of situation, try understanding why they’re in it in the first place. It can happen to anyone, even someone who appears to be strong on the outside.

Science Misinformation Reigns at the BC Human Rights Tribunal

The BC Human Rights Tribunal dismissed multiple complaints before a hearing because they would not accept, despite being given the primary evidence, that "viral vector" COVID-19 vaccines are genetic-based (they are DNA based says the CDC). I'm afraid everyone who took those vaccines under the misrepresentation that these were traditional vaccines was misled. So much for your precious Human Rights Tribunal, huh Charlie?

Drunken Farewell

I will probably not hear the end of it. I apologized to everyone involved and they were nice but I still feel really embarrassed. I recently attended a gathering of a dozen or so friends and had a bit too much to drink for my Asian genes to handle. Apparently, on my way out I called out something to the effect of "Everyone have sex! Enjoy!" Probably won't attend another such gathering for the next 5 or maybe 10 years.

I SAW YOU

ferry to mayne island

You asked for directions to the Mayne island ferry departure area and I was on my way to Galiano....

SAVAGE LOVE

Dan Savage: That husband over there

A woman asks Dan for advice on encouraging her husband to have an anonymous encounter with another woman.