Confessions

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I confess, I don't get it

Women in their fifties playing teenage games... Why? What is it you want? She got mad at me years ago when I told her she looked good. It was surprising to me, I wasn't being creepy, I've said that to hundreds of women in my life and have only had women smile, say thanks etc. Her friends told me she's a bit of a weirdo... Fast forward three years... When she walks past me I ignore her, mostly because I don't want to catch shit from her for being nice to her. She walks by more and more often. Then she starts looking over and smiling at me as she passes. After a few of these I go and ask her out, she won't give me her number so I give her mine. She never calls, stops smiling at me when she passes etc. I ask her if she's ever going to call me. She says; "leave me alone", so I do. Then she contacts me on a shitty dating site. By this point I'm fed up with the childish games so my response on the website isn't exactly gentlemanly. So be it. We're both in our fifties, we both look good and are attracted to each other but , hair flips and sideways glances are all she seems to be about.... Lady, I'm an adult, not a teenager. I'm not looking for a woman my age who wants to play games. I'm not interested in games and I don't have time for them either. And, a, neither do you.

Too afraid to try again

I left my abusive ex 2.5 years ago. The 5 years we were together actually broke me.....and I am an extremely strong woman. He moved on easily and quickly, but I've been rebuilding my life since. It's not that I don't have men who are interested in me, I'm just too afraid to even try again. Sometimes I'm afraid I won't ever be able to trust another person again..

All my

friends have dumped me because I inherited some money and I guess it just made them super jealous. I was careful never to talk about it much, but they still just hate me for it. It’s pretty eye opening to see this reaction!!

Full circle...

I have a decent job, and I am grateful...but when I put on my tie in the morning I cant help but sometimes feel like a fraud...an imposter. I slither into my costume like a reptile to join all the other reptiles in this real life game of mortal kombat...without the weed and potato chips. I feel like I am becoming my role/title....soul sucking office zombie living off the commissions of products that you cant even physically touch... Waiting for a baby boomer to retire so that I can replace them in that quest for upper mobility and higher taxes. I have become the enemy that I loathed during my teen years. I used to laugh at guys like me. "Yeah, whats wrong with that guy? Looks like he's got a stick shoved up his *s s" If I had a conversation with my old self and my current self, my old self would probably throw a che guevara book at my face. But then reality sets in. Obligations and deadlines overflowing at the rim. Angry clients...in-laws...Co workers that don't shut up. When I was 23 years old (circa 2008), I used to work as a barista. We had a pretty good crew. After work we would smoke a few joints and crack jokes about asshat clients. The kinds of people that would shit on us for not getting there milk at a certain temperature. Ironically, I have become one of those people... Slowly. So kids, when you see someone like me on the skytrain....just remember...I too once had a soul.

Kill the Singer

I despise my sister's fiance and I can't conceal it any longer. He doesn't even consider her to the point where he takes the car to see friends while she is forced to carry home heavy groceries for 30minutes, in the rain. He is using COVID as an excuse to keep her from her family and friends, while his "bubble" seems to include whomever he wants to socialize with. She is joyless from working all the time to support them as well as taking on all of the household chores because he is "focused on his music". He controls their social calendar and prioritizes holidays for his relatives only. If I want to see her these days, I have to expressly invite her over to my house and even then he comes along and is surly and miserable and an uncomfortable cloud hangs over his area the entire time. The only thing worse than how he treats her is that she said "yes" and actually wants to spend the rest of her life living like this. I am worried as I haven't seen her smile or her eyes shine in all the years she has been with him.

Truth be told

I just learned the truth about what really happened to my childhood security blanket. Turns out it wasn’t accidentally left behind at that motel my family stayed at that night. My Mom just confessed that she told me that because that decided that 5 years old was too old for a blanket. I’m 68 and it still hurts me to know that they denied me even that comfort.

Climbing a mountain

I would not want my worst enemy looking for a job like me. I spent about 15 hours reading the prospective company's website, Twitter, LinkedIn, Instagram feed for info getting ready for the interview. I prepare all my Top 20 achievement list, I get a haircut, for the Zoom interview. And I feel like I overprepare 400%, and they never ask the questions you plan for. Zoom interviews are terrible and I do much better in-person. On Zoom, there is a sound delay, and it throws off the course of a natural conversation. During the interview, I'm going through 5 layers: talking to a screen, working around the sound delay, reacting to when the person looks away, trying to perform to show I'm the best person for the job, trying to build some rapport through Zoom. How the hell can I get this medium to work for me in job interviews? Every failed interview, I feel like my confidence is shrinking... and then my anger grows at this whole job search thing. If you have a job, even one you don't like very much, I have to say I envy you. You don't have to be doing what I'm doing on repeat.

Dog commentary

Being a dog owner,I of course take my dog on many walks. My Pug is 11. People always stop to say hi,ask how old he is etc. which is all fine. The part I don’t get is “oh,mine lived to 10,mine lived to 12,etc,etc. Yes,that’s what I want to hear on my walk. ...how my beautiful dog only has a year or two left. Seriously.

I might be a bad person

I heard her husband was in poor health and my first thought was widowed means available!

F#ck your ugly sweaters

I was invited to a Christmas party next weekend and I just can't. I don't understand how others can. It's not that I'm anti-joy or even anti-social I just am weighed down by all the shit going on and I feel it all so deeply. I weep so easily. My relationships are suffering and I feel mostly alone.

I SAW YOU

We saw some carolers sing

We stood next to each other and watched some carolers sing at Jonathan Rogers Park. You said you...

SAVAGE LOVE

Savage Love: Fantasies real or imagined can be fun until hubby brings up his ex-fiancée

Dan Savage tries to put things in perspective for a woman who received a rude surprise after a fantastic session of oral sex.