... has started throwing things at me. I am disabled, live at home for economic reasons. I have dealt with a father who was physically abusive as well as an abusive brother who ended up dying in his 20s due to drug abuse. I recognize the pattern---she has escalated to throwing objects. if I go through any of these "domestic abuse" pamphlets the Government prints and substitute "mom" for "spouse" and "child" for "spouse" it is literally what she is doing to me and has done for much of my life. Historically she would, like, poke me in the chest, tell me she wanted to knock my head off.
I just don't know how much more of this I can take, and there is zero support. I literally just need a few hundred more dollars a month from the ministry, and I can move out.
She displays zero insight into her condition, as was the case for my father and brother. father was physically abused by his adoptive father, doesn't understand you can't strike someone because you dislike their conduct. Brother was socialized to believe he was allowed to strike me because "I'm the bigger one."
I just want off this ride. It's so horrible.
I'm pretty sure I'm from some other time. I feel a tad discombobulated in this reality. I think I met a fellow time traveler but she's married now, so I should really just go back in time to try and woo her...but somehow I don't know how to do that.
I guess it’s finally over, I wanted to suck my husband off so badly the other night as I was turned on by the most relaxing day and he refused as he was too tired!
Now I know all good things must come to an end.
It seems I'm turning into a anti-YouTube person.....there's I feel a lot of poison on it.
I want to watch the world from afar and write letters to it every day. To let my words be a lullaby in the fog to ferry its mind into a place of respite and dreams.
Every day I am reminded how temporary my life is. The roof over my head, my job, the car I drive, my meagre savings, the food in my fridge, the people in my life. All could be gone instantly. I admit I would like some permanence in my life. Some semblance of stability. Though I must remember, in the end none of us gets out of this alive. I can take nothing with me except perhaps what life meant to me. I wish I knew. And what if I don’t figure it out at the end - Will I have to come back? I don’t want to do this again.
I have had my ass kicked by life many times. The hardest part is usually the humility to admit that I lost. I was making $50k a year and the pandemic erased that and I found myself with my tail between my legs applying for minimum wage retail last summer. After seeking out a solid winter, having many things bounce my way that usually wouldn't, I was feeling pretty good going into spring. I dusted myself off with some of these small successes and re-applied to my former life. I got some positive news, but with the pandemic, I remain hesitant to any good news. Late last week I was talking in person to from my 2019 life and not only were they happy to see a familiar face, but they were in awe of my resilience and determination to my industry to stick it out. To re-apply. To get my ass kicked and stand back up and walk back through the door. To have taken on retail(which I still do) and kept my sense of humour. Things are dependent on the summer but should things stay open and the world be normal, I am going back to what I love with a bonus waiting for me at the front door. Taking the L sucks. It sucked. But that's life.
i had sexual pleasures alone on the rebound of one of my cousins and it felt great.
Even though I’m in my mid 30s, mentally I feel older. For some strange and reason, I feel as though I have the mentality of a 66 or 76-year-old man. No, I’m not grumpy or anything. I’ve always been separate from the rest of people my age. Maybe it’s just me but I find that people around my age just bore me to death. They’re all the same…Superficial, phoney baloney and so disconnected from reality. None of them seem to spark my interest whatsoever.
I started boofing jenkem a while ago, but my shrek rig broke. I have no idea what to do. I am completely addicted to jenk, but now I have no way of boofing it. I really don't want to have to go back to huffing it like a beginner, but I guess a mild high is better than no high. :(