Confessions

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Liar Liar

A co-worker told me horrible news before the weekend. There was an accident where her sister works and scalding hot cooking oil was spilled all over her, sending her to the hospital with 3rd degree burns. She gave me an elaborate story about how her sister was a supervisor at A&W when a car crashed into the drive-through spilling the oil on her. She said it happened on April 3rd. My co-worker was finishing her shift and was leaving so I wasn't able to give her much in the way of condolences before she was gone for the day. I decided to see if this horrible occurrence made the news, I checked the internet for stories about cars crashing into a drive-through at an A&W and saw the incident did happen in North Van, on March 16th. I thought it was a bit odd she would get the date of such a traumatic event that wrong. After the weekend, when I saw her again, I asked how her sister was doing. she gave me this blank stare and told me "she's at work". I mentioned the news she gave me on Friday and she laughed and said, "Oh, that was my sister's niece". I told her, on Friday, she specifically said it was her sister. She reiterated with "no, it was my sister's niece". Then she went on with her job. To lie about something like that is odd to be sure, but this woman is a very strict evangelical christian, she goes to church three days a week and got on my case once when I admitted that I like to have a glass of wine at the end of the day to wind down. Lots of tut-tutting about the evils of alcohol. Surly using someone's tragedy for attention would be frowned on at her church? I don't trust my co-worker anymore, I don't even know if the person involved is actually her sister's niece either. I didn't push the issue. I'm an atheist, I have heard her talk about the fates in store for non-believers in the afterlife. I guess her sins will be forgiven and mine won't be? This sort of thing just cements by belief.

Decisions

Two options: Do I take Door 1 - job I have no honest interest in for a 40% pay cut or what I was making 20 years ago. Or Do I take Door 2 - status quo unemployment and build business with partner who is super eager to launch? It seems like a betrayal to myself to rewind my salary gains 2 decades back. Advocating for more. It’s 2024 with killer inflation after all. If I do #1 I’ll just end up quitting anyway rite?

Family rumours

I have a cousin that lives in Ontario. There’s been this rumour going around in the family that he’s gay. His parents aren’t the type to discuss these things since they’re from the old school. It seems like they might be having a hard time trying to accept it. I don’t expect it to happen, but if let’s say there comes a time where they decide to open up and confide in me, I would just tell them that no matter what happens he will always be their son and it’s important to let him follow his own path. All that matters is that he has a good sense of himself and is living a happy, healthy life.

How the tables have turned

I love my Uncle. Unfortunately, I love him in short bursts. I cannot tolerate him for long periods of time. Whenever he calls, he always brags about useless crap. He puts his wife on a pedestal. Now I hear she’s divorcing him. So what’s there to brag about? WTF.

to be or not to be

Much like a high school athlete who never evolves past that early life success, I've always wondered if I would want to have been a one hit wonder. I knew a few people who developed out of BC as big hits in the late 90's and 00's. Being their age at the time, of course its envy. With the pandemic and people re-uniting, I noticed many of them had. Re-uniting to that exact thing they were. My best years have been my last 10-15. They're increasingly good. I don't know that I would trade it in to be a global phenom for a year or small fragment of time. I ran into one of my friends and their eclectic hair style that was progressive and chique, is the one they currently had. As an older person. They hated high school athletes, and all I could think was turned into something so very similar.

Nostalgia and the passage of time

I was just made aware of the fact that Siamese Dream was released 31 years ago. I remember exactly where I was when I first heard it, small town, over at my friend's house when he put a cassette on of this new band, and I immediately had to go out and buy a copy (well, get my Mom to drive me to the mall the next town over, technically). Nostalgia over that summer and the crush I had at the time.. Feels like a lifetime ago and a world away. Wonder where they are now and how they're doing, has their journey been anything like mine? Where did the time go? I feel old..

No one talks about

The guilt of being an unplanned pregnancy, of throwing a wrench into people's lives through no fault of your own. Thirty-five years and three more children later, my parent's marriage isn't horrible, but it isn't great either. They love one another but the marriage is dysfunctional, according to both of them. I sometimes wonder what their lives would've been like if I hadn't appeared. I'm confident they would've gone on to marry other people.

Why are we friends

I’ve spent less and less time with my friend. The last 4 years, she moves out of Vancouver for 4-12 months at a time living elsewhere. There’s no contact when she’s out of town and I get on with my life and get closer to other friends. Then a week before she comes back, she texts me “Hey I’m coming back!” But we have no glue and I’m not in any rush to see her. She’ll be here for a bit, and then it’s the same thing from her: “Leaving soon, we should catch up before I go!” She knows so little of my day to day. And if I text her, she’ll return a text 3WEEKS later. What does one do with a person like this?

Who needs him

I had this friend back in my old school days. He used to be humble about coming from a wealthy family but his personality changed defiantly after we graduated. Success must have gone to his head. He became cocky and full of himself. He never had anything interesting to say except comparing his wealth to others and bragging about high priced dinners with lawyers and that kind of crap. Garbage. Absolute garbage. We had nothing in common, so we drifted. I don’t know him anymore. Haven’t seen him in so long therefore he’s dead to me. More so than my own dead relatives.

But They didn’t mean it

I wonder about the ultimate betrayal in a relationship. Is it Infidelity? Lying? How about Disloyalty, Damage, Theft, or Disrespect? Whatever it is, the impact is harm. Intention means nothing.

I SAW YOU

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