Confessions

POST A CONFESSION

Really weird time

I started a new job this year. And it's unlike any work environment I've ever been in. Their Covid protocols have been weak with no one wearing a mask inside an office of 20 ppl. Because of this, I am double masked, and feel like I stick out like a sore thumb. Normally I am very social esp. at a new workplace, but I don't want to sit and each lunch with any of my new colleagues because I'm so worried about Omicron. Those random coffee walks with colleagues of workplaces past? Just can't get into it even if we're all masked. A water cooler chat is weird with masks. I still do it to make an effort, but I don't feel like I'm getting to know people when I can't see 2/3 of their faces. And because their Covid protocols have been weak, people have gotten Covid, then they cleared out the office. WFH for the next month or 2 now. Suffice to say starting a new job with a pandemic in full throttle is a strange experience.

Twister

Sister-in-law's bum in my face for 10 minutes. Just great. Tsk, I don't even know why I even participate in these silly games. I'm way too old for this shit.

No right

The woman I've been having an affair with just said yes to her boyfriends proposal. I know I have no right to be upset by it but I am.

Wrong Priorities

When I was young I focused on work wanting to save money thinking I could find someone once I'd done that. When I was ready, most already had "someone" and others "weren't interested". With time, age, looks & "Covid Rules" working against me, doubt I'll ever find someone. Now all i see each day is "happy couples" everywhere I go (transit, stores, malls, along the streets) while I go home to an empty house. Wish I'd spent more time looking for someone when I was younger instead of wasting it on working.

A little knowledge

I get so irritated when someone assumes that they’re an expert on something just because they have some training in it. A little knowledge can be a dangerous thing. So unless you’re a bonafide expert please don’t assume that you know more than they do.

I love peppers

I love them. LOVE THEM. There may be nothing nicer than the smell of roasted peppers. Red bell peppers are best, but I like to use greens in some cajun recipes. I'm not able to eat tomatoes, but I've learned to make a pepper sauce as good as (or better than) any pasta sauce or salsa. Banana peppers or poblanos are about my upper limit for heat. My dream is to live somewhere quiet with lots of nature and hiking and have a garden with lots of peppers. And cats. I love cats too.

Before & after Covid

Middle aged, only one freind (I do know she's busy what with being a single mom so I can't expect her to get to me always) anyways on disability (mental health shit) no girlfriend, stuck in a North Vancouver, bored, people ghost me, I attract the people I don't want to attract, sick of the internet & tv & you know it was even before the pandemic, time is running out & I can't take it (btw I have been told to join a group or volunteer or take a class yet people who tell me that don't do that)..... anyway that's all.

I am a petty asshole

Watching my ex's dreams crash and burn felt exactly as positive as I thought it would. A weight really did lift off of me. I tried to be a bigger person, but they knew their actions wreck my dreams. An simple apology or watching their dreams burn, whichever came first was all I wanted.

Waugh!

There is a first time for everything. Apparently it's dangerous cuddling my kitten when yawning. He just stuck his paws (yes both paws) in my mouth! I now know the taste of kitty toe beans...

Connect

I got together with a coworker for lunch yesterday. It was so nice to connect and talk about stuff. We basically exchanged thoughts on how fucked up Covid really is and it made us truly cherish the time we had together for lunch. Fingers crossed that hopefully this storm will soon blow over. Some day. Maybe.

I SAW YOU

Cute Guy at Vaccination Clinic

We were standing in line waiting to get our boosters and we talked about the book I was reading, ...

SAVAGE LOVE

Savage Love: Confusion over desire for spanking can be fixed with a proclamation of bisexuality...with limits

According to Dan Savage, it's better to give in to spanking than worry about your curiosity.