I’m so frustrated. Trying to reason with an unreasonable person is futile so I gave up trying. But the outrageously clueless things they say are making it SO hard! My instinct tells me to ignore them (and so far I have) but the temptation to unleash my innermost thoughts and annihilate them is overtaking my logical self. Meditation here I come!
I'm 63 never had any good friends well at least I got my best friend but she's busy being a single mom & working...on government disability bring told by others that they know what's best for me people making assumptions about even though it's obvious they don't know me or know anything about me.....I've even gone to church before where they either told me that thier god is the ONLY way to be saved or they would just go into some new aged type shit.....never had a girlfriend in fact I was married but she was mentally abusive and bipolar a cutter & controlling but of course I never had the balls to say no I guess I was too lonely....I'm sick of the mental health shit...im not even allowed to have a cat or small dog in my apartment...& no volunteering with cats of dogs is not the same as one living with you in your apartment...I'm sorry for being like this...I'm not suicidal...I'm against that...but I can't even afford an escort lol or a sex worker....& no online stuff is total bullshit...it's dangerous..im.so lonely....at work it's only young guys working there & young women (who have partners of course)....I'm so tired....I guess I'll have to buy a cheap Chromebook when I get paid from my part time job this week (I'm allowed to earn a certain amount of money being on disability)...& watch porn since that's all I got lol
I am madly in love with my coworker. I am so attracted to her personality, her smile, her eyes and her sense of humour. She is incredibly beautiful but she doesn't flaunt it even though she is breathtakingly gorgeous. I think about her all the time and wish we could be together!
By far the best decision of 2022.
As I close my eyes and dream, I am not sitting on a chair typing this. My legs are dangling off the side of a cloud. The ground that I think I feel below my feet is not really there, just the distance between the cloud and the earth. I sit watching peacefully as the world turns. I can't tell which I like more. The bright pockets of lights that are where city hubs are or the greenery of the mountains that are untouched. Life is beautiful. Normalcy is beautiful. Everything I lost over the last few years has returned. Maybe not all for me, but for the community. My heart will be warm this Christmas season and the next few months of the halloweens, the kids birthday, the decorating season will be like starting from scratch. I could not and would not anything else.
There’s a coffee shop somewhere in downtown Vancouver that’s named after my ex-girlfriend. I almost went in there to grab a coffee and snack but I didn’t. Her name alone just triggers horrible memories.
I haven't seen that face in years. And suddenly there it is. I wasn't prepared for it. Surprise, affection, loathing, confusion, betrayal, frustration. In a few seconds, it's gone. I have to remind myself that anything filmed in Vancouver risks having to see that person, even if briefly. It's strange to face a ghost from the past even when the person they were inspired by continues to walk among us. A modern haunting story.
After looking at a false colour image of our sun, I was given the impression that its surface is very hairy, not at all a perfectly spherical testicle, but more like a furball, which is glowing with heat and light. I also came to the realization that I may be missing a few marbles. But, I'm okay with that.