and then proceeded to tell me that he does not like dimples. Some men are funny creatures and I'm not sure if they even get themselves.
I’m worried about a very close family member who is heading towards heartbreak. She’s in her 60’s and has a male friend who she’s known since high school, that she’s falling in love with. Her husband died several years ago and she’s been alone ever since. This friend knows the whole family and her husband, and I know he’s not in love with her. He only sees her when he’s single (he’s one of those old bachelor guys who’s a serial dater), and other than that she rarely heard from him . But lately he’s been hanging around at her place all the time ever since his most recent relationship ended. It’s what he does with every woman he dates. She cooks for him. She drives him places. He doesn’t seem to do anything for her except hang out at her place acting like he lives there. He’s nice enough but I think he’s using her and I don’t want to see her get hurt. I want to say something but I also know that it’s her business, but I care about her so much and she’s already had enough hurt in her life. I was thinking of saying something to him but it’s very awkward since he’s kind of like an uncle and I’m sure he’s just going to get angry and deny it, even if I’m right. So I’m just biting my tongue but it’s so hard to watch.
I haven't moved from the couch in nearly 2 freaking years. I thought eventually I'd be able to travel...guess I should learn needlework instead.
but i'll carry on. just exhausted. seeking to understand others all the while being very misunderstood, it feels like too much work these days. i don't know how people have the energy to date as they do with frequency? i suppose one summer i did that, i've had small bursts of that, but lately i don't want to see anyone at all. for example, the people i matched with online last year and had months of conversation with, i suddenly don't feel inclined to go on a date when they ask me, when in fact, i should. i wanted to!
why does it feel so bothersome now? even the person that i missed so much, in the impossible chance they asked i might say yes and meet them out of mania, and then see myself walking home deciding to never see them again because i feel so numb. the act of dating draws all of my energy out of me. i think i'm depressed. financial stress will tear you apart inside out, so i'm learning. it will eat your romance and all of your desire. i am content spending time with friends, anything that isn't intimate. but a life without romance, even just the romance within you, is a sad one.
who i doubt i'll make a move on if an appropriate time ever arises but he's been so sweet and i just appreciate that gentle almost flirtation but not quite interaction, on the daily. the mutual lingering, the quaint cheeriness, and the finding excuses to prolong small talk. i'm not ready to get back into dating quite yet, i'm weary for it after having dated someone who never sought romance, but these pleasant interactions have reminded me that there are lovely intriguing folks out there who might want me too. sometimes that's all you need, those gentle minute flirtations.
I moved away from Vancouver to get away from the memory of, and the chance of running into, an ex. Like a normal person, I always wonder what if? Yet, Vancouver does not seem like the city I left. It always does not seem like it will be returning to the sleep Pacific Northwest oasis it always was. Seattle is kind of the same. Maybe I am just being cathartic about a lost love, but maybe the lost love was the city I loved and which I grew up in. The dream I left is no more. The life I wanted that broke my heart wouldn't have turned out anyways. Maybe it was meant to be. Maybe it was destiny.
I said bad things about some people a while back and I regret it. What I should have done was take deep breaths and maintain a better handle on my emotions. I’m sorry for everything. It’s late. The damage has been done. I’m not asking for anyone to be my friend. It would be nice if the people whom I hurt forgave me but sometimes there are things that can never be forgiven. If they want to forgive me or not, it’s their choice so I’m leaving the decision up to them.
20 years later I recall some high school memories and realize that I missed out on either a hand job, blow job, sex or all of the above with this one girl that was a couple years older than me. I didn't have many friends growing up and thought every girl in the school didn't want to go out with me so I kept it all platonic with everyone til I graduated. I was a fat kid. Like really fat kid. I missed all cues. I was in her bedroom in that big house alone. No one else home. And here I am Clueless me just being all friendly and shit. GOD, I'M SUCH AN IDIOT!
I just make posts to seek validation for my selfish behavior
One of my unforeseen stress responses is to literally light money on fire. 400$ last weekend was dedicated to paying the casino for instance, and disappeared almost with contempt. I make an OK wage, and could get by saving, and tucking money away, and work on being debt free. It would be nice to no longer be indentured. But for some reason, I actively get rid of it, as soon as I get it. I’m not naive enough to think I just hate money anymore. I would love some for actual goals. However I do sort of hate it, or am scared of its effects on people. I’ve been on the parameter of life of some very well off people at times, and I’ve …seen things I really disliked. I just wish I wouldn’t instinctively burn all my money as soon as I get stressed out or run down.