I have a really difficult time opening those plastic bags in the produce section at my local grocery store

Thinking about someone. I can't tell you why it didn't work out, what I could have done differently or how I managed to screw it all up so badly. I've been reflecting for 12 years without answers. I want nothing more than to see them. I picture them all the time. Like ALL the time. It's a giant tattoo on my mind. But at the same time, I'm scared to see them again. If I ever did come across them I would flee. I would literally flee. I picture myself dangling from a window ledge like Jason Bourne so I'm not spotted. I think I know I'm not strong enough to face them again so I'd rather run.

No body is holding a cellphone in their hands. From then to now is so culture shocking to me.

No family, no close friends. Have been priced out of renting in my beloved neighborhood. Where do I go? Different town, different province?

I can't stand it when people make videos online and when something funny happens with a friend, pet, etc. they laugh while making eye contact into the camera rather than laughing with the person/in the moment. It makes it seem so freakin fake and impersonal. Like can't we just enjoy one simple thing like laughter in the moment rather than doing everything for the camera? It actually drives me nuts

I admit my friends confound me. My friend disappeared for 3-4 years; I texted him happy birthday, Christmas, New Years messages. Nothing. Out of the blue he msg’d me. I can’t say I’m elated to hear from him. Another friend ditched me for half a year after I lost my job. Then msg’d me. I feel like these friends are only coming back because they want something. I’ve moved on because I’ve learned to live without them in my hardest times. I know ppl here will fire back at me “You’re lucky, I have no one” kind of thing. But that’s exactly it. These ppl made me feel very alone and now they present themselves before me. So much has happened and our friendship has deflated so much and I don’t feel excitement to pump it back up again.

My wife is sleeping with other men.

I am in a parallel dimension, and it feels like I don’t exist to people I once considered friends. A collective forgetting about the pandemic and no masks means being in most spaces isn’t safe for me. Apparently discussing immunocompromised people is banned in BC press. It’s really alienating and isolating seeing endless photos of partying in maskless crowds, people doing things in busy inside spots (with their young unvaccinated kids) with no masks . . . People I thought were smart? And supposedly didn’t want this thing to go on forever? It’s a confusing and lonely time.

I'm not a big fan of Freud, but I do enjoy watching strangers eating bananas. You can learn a lot about someone who's snacking down on one, especially if they think nobody is watching. Even better if they're really hungry. Or angry.

My former industry is crying for experienced people like myself but I have no sympathy after all the inventive ways they came up with to take advantage of me since the 2008 recession.