Confessions

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Greedy thieves

If you find something valuable that’s obviously been lost by someone else, and you keep it without trying to get it back to its rightful owner, you’re no better than a thief. You’re a greedy thief. At least make an effort to return it! You can post it on CL lost and found or on your local Facebook group, whatever. But just keeping it for yourself is a really shitty thing to do and that karma is going to bite you in the butt someday.

So much time wasted

Playing games with love. Specifically, self-love. Self-esteem. Confidence. Encouragement. Sometimes you don't get any of that growing up. Not even a scrap. Sometimes a person has to figure out how to give that to themselves. And I haven't.

Bittersweet

You're giving away your last name soon. And I have a feeling that I was uninvited by your lovely bride to be. It was so interesting watching that unfold. How you told me you would never date a female like her, and now look at you two, about to tie the knot. Why did you change your mind? Is it because she still lives with her parents? You know, so many of our friends thought you and I would end up together. I really messed it up. Dare I say that I hated you at first? But in the last two years you're all I can think about. All I feel when you're around. There's a strange and intriguing pull I feel when you're in the room. I guess maybe in another lifetime. For now, I will say thank you for showing me what a fine young gentle wise husband looks like. I will never tell you this irl but you will be the person I compare men to when I go on dates. If anything you gave me that, so thank you.

Former human trash

I spent the morning collecting all the things given to me by an ex, putting them in a trash bag, and throwing them in a dumpster. Normally I wouldn't be so wasteful and would opt to donate these items. However, I wanted to know what it feels like to dispose of something of value – a process that happened to me repeatedly during our time together. I was expecting to feel sad and cry, but you know what? It felt good. It felt powerful. I realized that was how they felt while treating me as a disposable object. And I realized I should have locked that door and buried the key in an unmarked grave a whole hell of a lot sooner. Phoenix rising from the dumpster, burning that bridge and not looking back.

Telling only part of the story

When someone tells you what happened in their relationship, remember that they’re only telling you half of the story. Rarely will they mention anything they might have done to contribute to whatever went wrong. If they do, wonderful! But I think that most people don’t.

Upcoming Guns N' Roses concert...

So the upcoming Guns and/or Roses concert... I just checked it's at BC Place (max capacity 54,000) and there are THOUSANDS of unsold tickets, at a minimum of $100 each. LOL! Honestly this kicks up a feeling of schadenfreude for me... to see another greedy band charging $100+ to see a washed up lead singer who has reportedly lost his voice to the ravages of age. GNR's music is also so outplayed and boring... how many times have you heard Welcome To The Jungle at a sports game or in a movie? Every time a GNR song comes on during a movie I cringe. This makes me happy to see them having this tour potentially blow up in their face. The balls it takes to try to play BC place and charge $100+... in this era of Ticketmaster's rapacious practices, it brings me great joy to see this tour failing.

Wtf just happened

So…a few weeks ago this childhood friend who I hadn’t seen in many decades searched me out on fb and sent me a friend request. I was really pleased to reconnect with them. We exchanged a few messages, but they live several hours away so it was really just the occasional message and not hanging out in person, but I was happy thinking that I’d made a new / old friend after all these years. But I’m a busy person with lots going on in my life and I don’t spend a lot of time texting or talking on the phone. All of my friends are the same; we’ve got stuff happening and families and whatnot, and sometimes my friends and I don’t talk for ages but we’re still friends. So out of the blue today I got this message from them angrily telling me they’re done with me because I’m too busy, then they blocked me! Wtf! As if we were in some kind of high school relationship or something. I always replied to their messages quickly and in a friendly way, so this was just so random. I’ve never experienced anything quite like it before and I’m still shaking my head and giggling.

I don’t know how to feel

I’m so conflicted. I have a family member who is a drug addict and who has hit rock bottom. They’ve used up every single friend they had. They can’t tell the truth because they lie so much that they don’t even know what truth is anymore. We can’t believe anything they say because it’s complete lies. This has been going on for many decades, and I’ve been saying this to my family for all this time, to no avail. In fact I’ve been accused of being hard hearted and mean because I’ve been advocating for tough love with them to stop enabling their addiction, but no one listened. Now things have reached a crisis and I’ve just learned that they have been shit-talking me to everyone who would listen, in spite of all the times I helped them out and how they tell me they love me when we talk. I knew about some of the lies they told about me in the past, but somehow hearing about how they’re talking about me now has made me feel really bad. I feel like just shutting them out of my life completely, for good. I know addicts aren’t really in control of their faculties, but still, I’m just really done and I don’t want anything more to do with them at all. I’m They’ve spent their whole life blaming everyone else for their problems while never doing a thing to help themselves. All they do is leech off of anyone who will let them. It’s disgusting and pathetic. But still, I’m conflicted because I do love them. Maybe I can forgive all the lies, but I think I still have to cut them out of my life.

I want a pet!

I really do. I love dogs and cats so much. But I can’t afford one. I can’t afford an expensive vet bill if something happens to them. I can’t afford to buy my own place that allows pets. So I do without one in spite of how much I miss having one in my life. So I confess to being really frustrated with people who get a pet because it’s what they want and not because it’s the best thing for the animal. The same people who expect other people to pay the vet bills in an emergency, or whatever else that animal might require along the way. The fancy food because the cat has digestive problems. The special shampoo because the dog has a skin condition. All of those things. If you genuinely love animals, you put their needs above your own, and if you can’t afford all of what they might potentially require, then you’re not supposed to get one. Simple but unpopular truth.

I SAW YOU

Overground from Hackney to Clapham Junction

I doubt you will ever gonna read this but… if you are thee guy who stared at me the whole journey...