I’m so frustrated. Trying to reason with an unreasonable person is futile so I gave up trying. But the outrageously clueless things they say are making it SO hard! My instinct tells me to ignore them (and so far I have) but the temptation to unleash my innermost thoughts and annihilate them is overtaking my logical self. Meditation here I come!
I'm 63 never had any good friends well at least I got my best friend but she's busy being a single mom & working...on government disability bring told by others that they know what's best for me people making assumptions about even though it's obvious they don't know me or know anything about me.....I've even gone to church before where they either told me that thier god is the ONLY way to be saved or they would just go into some new aged type shit.....never had a girlfriend in fact I was married but she was mentally abusive and bipolar a cutter & controlling but of course I never had the balls to say no I guess I was too lonely....I'm sick of the mental health shit...im not even allowed to have a cat or small dog in my apartment...& no volunteering with cats of dogs is not the same as one living with you in your apartment...I'm sorry for being like this...I'm not suicidal...I'm against that...but I can't even afford an escort lol or a sex worker....& no online stuff is total bullshit...it's dangerous..im.so lonely....at work it's only young guys working there & young women (who have partners of course)....I'm so tired....I guess I'll have to buy a cheap Chromebook when I get paid from my part time job this week (I'm allowed to earn a certain amount of money being on disability)...& watch porn since that's all I got lol
There’s a coffee shop somewhere in downtown Vancouver that’s named after my ex-girlfriend. I almost went in there to grab a coffee and snack but I didn’t. Her name alone just triggers horrible memories.
I haven't seen that face in years. And suddenly there it is. I wasn't prepared for it. Surprise, affection, loathing, confusion, betrayal, frustration. In a few seconds, it's gone. I have to remind myself that anything filmed in Vancouver risks having to see that person, even if briefly. It's strange to face a ghost from the past even when the person they were inspired by continues to walk among us. A modern haunting story.
Someone from the past doesn’t understand why I’m not interested in their attempt to get me to remember “the good times”. Maybe it’s because the memory isn’t as good for me as it apparently is for them. I’m so traumatized from that relationship that all I want to do now is forget it.
If I could take pill to erase memory of my ex I would yesterday and rhats the honest to God truth. Key way to live in the moment. There is no honor or feel good nonsense to this unlike feel good types will tell you.
After looking at a false colour image of our sun, I was given the impression that its surface is very hairy, not at all a perfectly spherical testicle, but more like a furball, which is glowing with heat and light. I also came to the realization that I may be missing a few marbles. But, I'm okay with that.