Interesting that a population finally getting the hang of life with a virus is now cycling without helmets? Maybe they don’t have much brain to lose but you would think people would be a bit more careful.
I've disappeared. The past few years I have had basically no online presence. Barely any real world presence. Did anyone come looking for me? Anyone curious? Concerned?
It takes a lot time and energy pretending to be politically correct not to offend so I can be accepted. Keeping up an image and pretending to be someone that I am not is also exhausting. The moment I let my guard down I get disappointed. Anytime I can be ghosted for what ever reason. Making friendships with anyone no longer important to me.
It's not often that it happens, but there are some strangers you meet in life that just make you happy to see them. It's like that line from a song, "Then I saw her face, now I'm a believer." The sight of them just lifts you up and you can't help but smile. I was quite possibly the grumpiest man heading to work on the bus the other day, but not after I saw her.
I got sooooo fat over the last few months. What the fuck am I doing? I need to change my life around.
I don't do things I enjoy because I am paranoid about making noise and bothering the neighbours. This makes no sense because I am already super quiet and my neighbours make about 10 times more noise than me. They don't really seemed concerned about bothering me. But I am not capable of acting the same way, I would be plagued with guilt. So instead I tiptoe around like a church mouse and don't have any fun. I wish I could do something I like, such as putting on music or watching a movie loud enough for me to hear it. I think I am too considerate. My own mother told me that! Being the least assertive person in the building is no fun.
After being treated with blatant disregard by a long time friend over a matter I took very seriously, and this person knows this, I find it quite sad that during Covid, just nothing, no attempt to rectify things. After so many years as friends, there is this huge hole in my life, and by their silence I understand that for them, "no biggie" It's made me feel nothing towards basically everyone and every situation. What a shame. But really, I should have known better to try, I am such a fool.
Announced tomorrow. I feel kind of sick. Drinking tonight.
I do not know how my life would be without the memories of being a 15, 16 and 17 year old going into the city for shows on summer nights. the buzz, the energy of being alive with little groups of friends adventuring the city in the hours leading up to shows, wandering Granville and Hastings and experiencing a big city open all night...
Say "hello" to your neighbour.
Smile when you cross the street.
Say "thank you" when a stranger holds open the door.
Delete that dating app, let's bring back "old fashioned" dating.
Introduce yourself, and your friends.
Get to know your community.
"Give them a call," don't "shoot them a text".
Appreciate the simple things in life again, value human interaction.