Confessions

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WFH

My boss likes to email and message me at 7am on workdays, despite the fact that the official working hours are 9-5. Everyday he sends these requests, orders, demands for me to do something at 7am. At first I responded, thinking I’m “getting stuff done”. But then I realized I am a sucker to extend my workday like that. I don’t get paid for working 2 hours earlier, so I decided I will only log on at 9am and respond to all the queries/demands then. As if being subjugated for 8 hours isn’t humiliating enough, being dominated over before you’ve even had coffee and breakfast is worse.

Twisted priorities

I know that this is going to truly annoy some people. But what the hell is wrong with people who will bend over backwards to help someone who has come here from another country who is struggling, but would literally step over a homeless citizen of Vancouver in the street who is trying to survive right here? I mean, wtf? I’m all for support for refugees, but I’m disgusted by the lengths that people will go to in order to help someone foreign when those same people turn up their noses at equally deserving people who happened to be born here. Our government will hand out money, medical care, housing, etc, to someone whose own corrupt government (no I’m not talking about Ukraine) doesn’t care, when they won’t do that same thing for their own citizens! It’s nothing but a freaking photo op for them. “Let’s help these poor unfortunate people from foreign lands because we’re such a magnanimous and generous government. But let’s completely ignore the people who might actually vote for us because they’re not as popular a cause.” I’m thoroughly disgusted. I’m on a neighbourhood fb group where someone just asked everyone to shell out for a “struggling family” from Africa because our government hasn’t given her enough money for a decent apartment, clothes, a good job, and food. I mean, seriously? Has this woman even looked around at our own neighbourhood and city to see the suffering happening every single day? Does she not read the local news? Obviously she is so clueless that she doesn’t comprehend that our government doesn’t give it’s own disabled and poor/disadvantaged citizens enough to even buy food nowadays, let alone a decent place to live. No. It’s so much more popular and IG and FB friendly to loudly proclaim your support for everyone else except for the citizens of the place you actually live. I want to puke.

You stopped for geese

These things would never get anywhere near you in the bush. Because they know better, the only reason they parade across the street is because you submit to them. Funny though, you would never give another human being (in the dtes for an example) the same amount of dignity. And if that person is a cyclist. All bets are off, it’s like they’re not human. But geese. Everyone stops for the geese. What the f.

Moving on

I’m changing my personality and outlook for the better. During these past few years, I let a lot of stupid people take advantage of me. All they ever did was suck the life out of me physically, mentally emotionally and financially. But ever since I woke up and cut them loose, my life has improved. My bank account has increased and I’m a lot more confident than I ever was before. I’ve learned to create healthy boundaries out of self respect. Not going to associate with idiots just for the sake of not being alone. Once you cut stupid people completely out of your life, you do not go running back to them. If it takes a while for me to find decent people to hang out with who value me for who I am, then let it be damned.

First dates

They are everywhere right now along sea walls, and patio's and parks. They are so obvious by their clashing clothes, their awkward paired walking. I freaking love it. No FOMO, no envy, just warms my heart seeing the world and spring emerge. Even the cynic in me does not care the percentage that will make it to date 2. Spring has sprung. Nothing lasts, but watching love trickle out of isolation is helping my heart beat.

Testarossa

Mammals go into heat… except for humans apparently?! I call bullshit. I am most definitely not cool right now. I am tired, I want someone to touch me and not annoy me and I want someone here - but that also feels overwhelming and scary and this is incredibly uncomfortable. Is there an off switch to this? Do I just need to drink an exorbitant amount of soy milk? Cold shower? Shudder. No thanks. Testosterone sucks. This really sucks.

they never said they were leaving....

I am a Senior's care giver. Recently my brother and his wife moved away and bought a house on the island without telling me or my 83 year old mother that they house hunting or even thinking of moving away. Now they are acting like that was a perfectly normal thing to do and they are outraged that I feel upset or that I would dare to suggest that they have done me wrong by not letting me or Mom know that they were even thinking of moving away. It's not like they were doing much to help me in my role as a care-giver, yet I still feel betrayed the fact that they literally said "We bought a house on the island and we are moving next month," And that was the first I heard of their intention to move. Last night we had a bitter fight and I am clearly the bad guy in their minds, how dare I take offence at them living their lives. Meanwhile, Mom has been in hospital three times in the last two months, for 3-5 days each time and they have yet to attend, despite being "only a phone call away" and "only 50 miles (80km) away."

I don’t care but young women should

My spouse is having an affair with a co-worker 25yrs younger than him. Decades ago we both had our pick of mates. We chose each other and I just don’t know why anymore. I’m too wise and zen now to care about his void he cannot fill. I don’t really care about what’s going on, it’s not about me. But I want to warn young women out there , don’t get involved with men in midlife crisis. You’re hurting yourself and why? Learn to love yourselves so you don’t have to find yourself in this kind of desperate relationshituation. You may have been told some kind of back-story, but what you are doing is wrong. Check-in with yourself, be kind to yourself and others. Two wrongs don’t make a right partnership.

Haunted

In the last couple of months my earliest memory of life has been flooding back to the forefront of my mind. The first thing I remember is my baptism when I was a baby. My parents decided to baptize me in the Greek Orthodox Church. All I remember is the priest clutching my body with his big hands. I’m cold, naked and wet just crying my eyes out, while being watched by all those people sitting in the pews. Some old friends and relatives who passed away in the last couple of years. All I wanted was to go home and be in my warm cozy crib. That’s all I wanted. Nothing more. My mom had told me years later that I had a cold. She didn’t have time to cancel the occasion at the last minute so she decided to make due with the situation. It scars me in some respects, and I’ve often wondered if perhaps talking to a psychotherapist of some sort might help me learn to cope So that I’ll never have to think or cry about my first living nightmare ever again.

Middle Kid Syndrome

I recently found out that I am not the eldest of two children, but the middle child of three. My mother had an abortion before I was born. I’m only here because my dad wanted to have children and told my mother he would divorce her if she had another abortion. I feel like this explains my childhood and really my whole life.

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Actor, comedian, producer, and writer Joel Kim Booster helped Dan out with this week's column on sex and race, which was written back in 2016.