Confessions

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SNOOP

I just learned that my wife of 25 years slept with another man a few years ago. He's a work "friend". I busted her under identical circumstances a few years ago, we worked through it , or past it , though I honestly never truly got over it. Apparently she has a thing for fat-headed bald dudes with wet-lip. Jesus, what does that say about what I bring to the table in her mind. Now to find out that there were more, and even during our time of no secrets and brutal honesty in our road to repair she still hid this from me. I don't know what to do. I feel to bring it up would be re-hashing old news that is supposed to be in our past. She doesn't know that I know, and I feel sick to my stomach. I love her and dont' want to lose what we have. But a big part of me wants to spit this in her face and make her explain. It's childish and I know that I should suck it up, but as much as I can reason with myself, 2 minutes later it's bubbling away in my brain. I can't seem to let it go. At a base level, I know that I would have been better off just leaving her phone alone. But I barely had to dig to find this out. Now I worry about what I would find if I spent more than the 2 minute sneak peak I took. FUCK ME.

I confess

26 years ago we were married because we had a 1 year old child together and we wanted to do the right thing. There is nothing like regret to remind you that you are alive.

Thanksgiving

Today at work, a coworker mentioned that he had multiple invitations to Thanksgiving dinners at various people's homes, and had to choose which invitations to accept. He's going to one on Sunday and another one on Monday. I will be home alone for Thanksgiving. I didn't feel particularly sad about it until today. No one has invited me anywhere, and there's no one I could invite to spend the day with me. My existence matters so little to anyone.

Controlling relationship

I’m trapped in a relationship with my wife, I feel like I am wasting the last few good years of my life. She controls every aspect of our lives, finances, friends, Sex life and children. She only seems attracted to me if she’s been drinking and makes me feel like garbage when she’s sober. I can’t get out, yet I can’t go on….

Solutions

From what I can gather the housing crisis is due to the unaffordability of homes more than the lack of homes. Going forward with projected population growth doesn't it make more sense to build affordable condos rather than rental units? Instead of having all the wealth concentrate to a couple of companies shouldn't we be allowing for growth if a middle class? This would also help to stabilize a local economy when the people that own the property also live, work and spend their income within that economy. Just thinking of a different approach because what we've been doing as a society is only working for a small number of us.

When? WHEN???

So many cowards. All you have to do is open your mouth and speak. When are you going to do that?

Only way is up, not down.

It's REALLY hard to talk to anyone who isn't my age or older. We are in completely different worlds. I'm 40 in 2 years and 5 months.

A much younger woman likes to spend a lot of time with me

In the past few months, a much younger woman, much younger, has spent a lot of time with me. She initiated the contact, although I knew her many years ago, when she was an adolescent. Typically, we eat at a restaurant with friends of mine. She is a very attractive, highly educated professional who doesn't need my assets, if I had any. If I don't invite her, she invites me. But, there has been no physical intimacy. I don't want to hurt her feelings, or make a fool of myself, but I wonder if we are just friends.

"body count"

There's some expression for the number of people you've slept with. Mine's consistently been the same as my age, I'm not sure if that's considered good or bad (there was a bit of a slow patch there but I'm back on track).

I SAW YOU

Bicycling on the surface of the water

You were doing Tai Chi. I bicycled slowly, through deeply pooled water, not making even a ripple...