What's up with all the 40+ dudes dating online who say they want kids someday, Vancouver? I'm a 36 year old woman and I'm finding it hard to find someone 'my age' who is realistic. If you're meeting a woman your age, she's most likely not going to be able to safely have kids closing in on 40 - if she even wants them. These dude just got their heads in the clouds? Or are they just looking for a 25 year old (also sounds like head in the clouds, to me). It just seems unrealistic, and like you're going to miss out on awesome people looking for an experience you're most likely too old now to get or enjoy. I know, I know - it doesn't matter, dudes can be 60 and have a kid. But really, what you should say then is that you want to have kids with a much younger woman and then do none of the work.
I'm a chick, so totally know I have it somewhat easier than a lot of men out there (even though I'm middle-aged), but OH MY GOD, I've been on 6 dates in the last month (on the phone and / or socially distanced) and I've had to say EVERY SINGLE TIME, "Hey there! It's been about 30 minutes and you haven't asked me a single question about myself!" And every single time, the guy laughs it off like it's not a big deal (and maybe I just attract that type of dude), but it's really annoying, so for whomever needs to hear it...:
PEOPLE. Dates are NOT supposed to be a one-way interview, or all about offloading all of your garbage / issues onto someone else. Why do you see potential partners as potential dumping grounds for allllllll of your issues...? Get yourself some therapy before you jump into dating! Talk to your bros or sisters about your issues! Why aren't your friends helping you with them...? Why haven't YOU dealt with them?! Why can't you talk about anything other than yourself with absolute strangers...?
I'm into solving the problems we get into together, TOGETHER - - but before that...? *DO YOUR OWN WORK!* Relationships are not therapy! Get your shit together. I don't want to talk about your last "crazy" partner, or "why you have family issues." These are examples of RELATIONSHIP CONVERSATIONS, and I'm not into having those until I know who you are. And if those issues *define* you as a person, you should likely already be in therapy for them before you try to meet other people!
So many people complaining about being single, but that might be likely due to them just talking about their own goddamned selves the entire time they're around a potential partner.
The world's best aphrodisiac is asking someone questions and showing true interest in their own life; y'all seem to know that much about your own damn selves! So flip the script and ask your dates the same.
whenever i relax and just "chat" my husband has to pick up on something i say wrong. i'm not perfect, i may get a name wrong, pronounce it incorrectly or get a number or date wrong and he just POUNCES. "you're wrong!" like it's some kind of badge of honour for him. i don't love him as much as i could because of this very trait he has. so there. ahole.
of my life to look after me to pamper me and read my mind kindly
I am enjoying the fall the world is taking. My life has had many falls because of the people on this planet. It's now enjoyable for me to see others in distress.
I had a lot of odds against me growing up. Somehow managed to be somewhat successful, depending on how you define that. Finally at 28, I can say I’ve managed to build a life I’m proud of. I also didn’t turn out to be an addict - but even if I did, it really wouldn’t be that surprising considering what I’ve experienced - and I didn’t let the abuse I went through ruin the rest of my life. But, it can feel “strange” not feeling like I’m going to be punished. That I’m blessed and taken care of. I’m not used to this new life. And I’m just going to be ok with that. One day I’ll write a book because we all do have so much in common. Keep going, it’s a journey. Enjoy it.
I work in a homeless shelter and I enjoy helping people, but I am frustrated at the mental health system in general. Everyday, I am seeing mentally ill clients are being dumped into homeless shelters instead of our healthcare system advocating them into supportive housing or organizations where they are care for and staff are better equipped. Unfortunately, once they get dumped into a shelter, I see our clients' mental health and/or addictions spiral out of control to a point where they are suicidal, in psychosis, unable to take care of themselves, or violent in the community. I give big thanks to all of the paramedics and police officers who respond to our calls for help. Everyday, I see our clients' eyes full of pain and hardly anyone cares about them. I do burn out and get frustrated, but my passion keeps me going for the clients. Every shift I am putting out fires to de-escalate aggression, intervening during a crisis, referring them to housing outreach, etc. I wonder how long will I last as a shelter worker and continue being frustrated at a system that doesn't care about mental health.....
After the first 6 months of the pandemic, I am completely burnt out of helping others. Delivering food, groceries, masks, gas cards, sanitizers, making business cards for their next venture, driving them so they don’t have to transit, etc etc etc I feel like I’ve gone above and beyond like 300% but the next 6 months, I’m dialing it back to take care of me. Totally exhausted and want to live in a cave for a bit.
Anyone working in healthcare or childcare/education is a big nope now to me due to common sense and self-preservation.
My dad is 85 and bought another used car today. About a decade ago, he sat down and tried to count how many cars he's owned since the age of 15, the age you could legally drive in Saskatchewan. The count was 300 plus, a that was a decade ago. Buying a car is like going to the casino, the house almost always wins or less you have some special collectable, which father has never had. The house being the dealer selling you the vehicle since you're taking a loss on your trade in. The car is a year or two older and has higher mileage, so he loses a couple of thousand or more on every trade. He's lost a couple of thousand, in today's dollars for 70 years! I can't imagine if he just bought a car a drove it into the ground and replaced it when he needed to the amount of money that could have been saved and invested over the course of 70 years and the retirement he and mother could have had, never mind his carbon footprint.
Is my dad sick or is he the bi-product of a sick and twisted culture? The fixation or fetishization of stupid sh#t apears to be pretty normal in this pathetic culture. It's not uncommon for people in this country to shake their heads in disgust at some other nation that's a mess or feel sorry for its people. Is what we're doing here really that much better? It's pretty warped if you take a step back and really look at it. Working to buy sh#t. What a waste of life and the planets resources. I feel sick and heartbroken today.