Confessions

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Passing lane; NOT fast lane

I agree that the passing lane is for passing, but the maximum speed at which one should be travelling is the maximum speed posted. Beyond that, it is illegal to speed and endanger everyone else. If the reason for someone to sit in the passing lane is to prevent someone else from speeding, then I am all for it. Too bad for the speeders; they are just scofflaws.

Alright dudes, real talk

You want to know the truth? Yeah, women do care about how much money you make, and how attractive you are, and how big your dick is. It's pure logic. We don't get paid as much as you, and even if we're an exception when we meet, our careers aren't going to progress as fast, we won't get the marriage bump in our salary, and the bare facts of biology mean our careers are going to get derailed at least somewhat by a pregnancy. Social roles being what they are, we're probably going to end up doing most of the housework, and all the household management, and being unpaid therapist to your emotionally crippled, uncommunicative self, while still dealing with all the extra headaches of shitty experiences of being a woman in this world. And statistical probability is that if she ended up in the role of the breadwinner, your lazy ass isn't going to go all wifely and do all the cooking and cleaning and childcare and planning and housekeeping that women keep up. Also, most of you are pretty terrible in bed and have no idea how to get a woman off, and think sex starts and ends with your boner. So yeah, if we know we're probably going to be dealing with all that crap no matter what dude we end up with, we're going to try the best we can to find a guy who will at least ease some of the financial burden, actually turn us on with their looks, and has enough in the pants for us to work with. If you don't have any of that going for you, you might want to get on board with that whole feminism thing and start creating a more equal society. Until then... well, these are the gender roles we got.

Sorry, not sorry.

When you’re sitting on the outside seat on the bus and your bag or whatever is taking up the window seat, I’m purposely asking to sit there even when there are 10+ other empty seats.... just to annoy you. I know you people get annoyed so easily and it’s fun watching you fidget around now that you have to sit next to a human Hahahaha.

People of Colour...

... need to realize that this Marxist "muh colour makes me oppressed" crap has no place in 2018. Socialism belongs in the dustbin of history. You're not oppressed on the basis of your skin colour. We don't need a rainbow on council, we need the best people for the job no matter their colour. The evil subtext to this talk is that the electorate made a mistake, or that we somehow have a "racist" electoral system because some pre-determined socialist orthodoxy isn't being matched up with. It's pressures like this that remove the legitimacy from democracy. The electors are never wrong, and if you want to alter the system so that the electors are not able to "do the the wrong thing," you don't believe in democracy at all.

Saved

I spent my 20's enjoying myself and I had a lot of fun. I dated musicians, bartenders, bouncers, football players, etc. I woke up one morning and realized my life had no meaning. I took a hard look at my life and realized all I did was drink, party, do drugs, and have sex with random men. I decided on that day I would turn my life around. I found my faith and met a religious man who would become my husband. He forgave me for my sins and my past and now I have a great life with two children in Abbotsford. I thought I had no hope but hope is never lost.

Use Your Brain

One thing that drives me nuts this time of year is that as it gets colder, people who staff public buildings and other spaces keep turning up the heat inside. Most people dress for the colder weather with heavy coats, scarves and layers of clothing. When we step inside a school, office, store or whatever, its like we just stepped out of a freezer only to step inside an oven. I start to sweat and take off all my gear but even that doesn't help because the people who work there keep it so hot inside! That includes the bus drivers who turn up the heat so they can drive in the colder months while wearing shorts and a polo shirt. All the passengers in winter coats? Fuck you, apparently. Just turn the thermostat down, will ya?

The World has Changed

I worked cleaning buses for 35 years. The work was not easy but I got a union wage and benefits. I was lucky I didn't finish high school but I got my grade 10 barely and my uncle just told his boss to give me a job and that was that. My wife didn't have to work because in those days it was just something that was frowned upon. I bought a house in east Vancouver for $70,000 and then a second for $84,000. People thought I was crazy to spend that kind of scratch in east Vancouver. I rented the basement in my house and the other I rented the top and basement. The rental income paid off all the bills. We weren't rich my any means but we were comfortably middle class and my kids never went without. Its just today its so much harder because houses cost a million dollars and then you both have to work. I don't know how young people do it today. It is definitely harder and if any old top tells you otherwise they are out of touch with reality. You know for $10 I could get groceries for the week and still have enough saved up to take the wife out. I just sometimes wish everything could go back to the way it was when everyone was happy and together.

I Tried

Went on a date with a guy I met off Tinder. He was cute so I said why not. He just kept on talking about all of his accomplishments and how much money he had and was going to make. Didn't even ask me a single question about myself. How about ask what I like to do for fun or what my interests are? Check came and he said we should split it. Not a big deal just should let me know if you want to take me to an expensive restaurant on a first date. I would have been happy to go to White Spot or a less expensive place. I told him I am not going to pay for the bottle of wine because I don't drink. He did not like that one bit. Then at the end of the night he wanted to go back to his place which is actually his parents place. He was completely clueless. We had 0% chemistry and I just took a cab home. Some guys are just clueless in dating and need to be listeners instead of talkers.

Nothing’s changed

I keep waiting for the day when the double standard about women’s sexuality v. men’s sexuality ends. So far it’s the same old crap, different decade. It’s still exceptionally common for guys to get all weirded out if they learn that the woman has slept with several men, even though they themselves may have slept with many more than she. One of the recent posts here about a woman who had done that and then met a guy who “forgave” her for doing it, is a perfect example of this double standard. So many ignorant males responding, saying things like the woman is garbage, etc. Where the hell does any man get off assuming that it’s perfectly acceptable for them to have sex with as many women as possible, yet still expect women to be “chaste”? It’s so archaic! Ffs it’s almost 2020 and we’re no further ahead on this than we were back in the ‘70’s! Get this straight guys: we are sexual beings, just like you. We have the right to have sex with as many people as we feel like. Just like you. If you think it’s only okay for males but not for females, then that makes you sexist as hell. Period.

Go Read

"I Was A Promiscuous Teen: An Open Letter to All the Men From My Past" and make an attempt to understand. And yes, awful guys - I see your "You just brought this all on yourself, it's never a guys fault" And I raise you almost every male friend I've ever had, who completely stopped speaking to me when they realized sex was really, actually, off the table. To quote one of them: "Why would I be friends with a woman and deal with the discomfort of her not sleeping with me, when I have lots of guy friends". Try and understand the relentless, compounding pain of being taught over and over and over again that almost half the population on the planet doesn't see you as a person. Understand the pain of having the message reinforced over and over that your needs and interests and desires don't matter. Understand the fresh pain on top of that of being told that the ways this has hurt you are your fault, and that you are a bad person for allowing that hurt to get in the way of a guys ability to enjoy you - that that hurt is why you don't get to have access to one of the "nice guys" who want "emotional connection" not just sex - because now you're guarded and prickly, and its not his fault and you're a terrible harpy for being cynical and reading bad intentions, why are you projecting your experiences from your poor choice of men on to this innocent man, you should have known better than to let those guys hurt you in the past (by the way if this guy hurts you, too, it's your fault for not having been wary and guarded enough)

Obstructions

I’ll never understand why people who are disabled, elderly or have 2.5 kids in tow, bother to travel on transit at peak rush hour. I mean I’ll give up a courtesy seat when it’s needed, but a lot of people are ignorant and won’t. I’m often getting work done on my laptop - until asked to move. Yo, if you don’t have a job to go to, then please wait till 9:30 or 10. Traffic dies down, and you’ll have plenty of room to crash around and block access with your cane / walker / stroller. Otherwise you’re just inconveniencing yourself and everyone around you

Men’s Rights

I couldn’t sleep, so I scrolled thru Netflix and landed on a new series, Follow This. In one of the episodes, entitled, Men’s Rights, it briefly explored the burgeoning men’s movement. I thought it would anger me, but it only saddened me. I’m obviously a woman, and I’m horrified at the state of our world right now, but I honestly didn’t know men were in as much pain as they are, deep down. To read about it on these pages is one thing, but to see and hear their depth of anguish was awakening. I wish we could wipe the slate clean of our culture and start again as equals who treat each other with kindness, respect, and compassion. Being human is challenging for all, regardless of gender.

Nobodies Fault

My take on the dating situation as an unbiased married woman is that there are a lot of beautiful and accomplished single women and just not the same quality of men available. This leads to a lot of mismatched couples where you have to settle for mediocre men or face a lifetime of being alone. I think both men and women should broaden their horizons and date outside of the lower mainland because there are a lot of catches out there.

I know what you think when you see me.

I know you think I’m lazy. I’m sure you think I’m stupid. You might even believe I don’t care about myself. “Damn they would be so attractive if they just lost that extra weight”. You think I don’t see you stare. Ask yourself the next time those thoughts pop into your heads: do you have any idea what I’m going through? Do you know about the time I was raped? Do you know about the yo yo diets and years I have spent hating myself? I don’t need your pity. I don’t need you to feel sorry for me or guess or make assumptions. I just need you to remember I am a human being and I see you. You think you see me but you only see the surface. I am smart. I am warm. I am loved. I do take care of myself. I am doing my best. So step off.

Hey Assholes!

If you're going to be out in public when you're sick, could you please cover your mouths when you cough. I just got sick again because the idiot sitting behind me on the Skytrain kept coughing all over the place. I don't get sick days at work, and I have exams and assignments coming up at school. You just made all of that even harder. Just cough or sneeze into your sleeve. Please!

I SAW YOU

Ms J at Korpiklaani

We were at Korpiklaani, right at the front before the stage. By the end I had my arms around you,...

SAVAGE LOVE

Savage Love: It ain’t broke if that’s your nature

I am not able to find a long-term significant other. Am I broken?