Confessions

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Can't stop thinking about a person from my past

I'm engaged to someone else and haven't seen this person in like 8 years but we started talking a few months back and now they are all I can think about. We talk daily about everything. They are also in a relationship and say they want me just as bad... I have never been so tempted in my life...

My brother

My brother is antivaxx and he lives with his old parents.

Sundays

It's been decades and decades since things opened up on Sundays. Yes, almost everything but essential services and entertainment venues used to be closed. There was a societal sense that the one day was meant for relaxing, family time, home time or whatever. All these years later, even after working Sunday shifts all through my career, it still feels inappropriate somehow when I get a phone call or email about business on a Sunday. (Retired, but still working PT from home). I kindly reply as needed, but hey...

The best wife ever

My wife and I have been having a relationship problem for some time. Don't want to go into the roots and causes of these problems but recently she said that I had the best wife ever and I didn't appreciate this. Well, the truth is that she was a great organizer of life at home, cooking and taking good care of everybody around and that was true. What I was missing was a sex life. For the past 5 years or so, our marriage has become sexless. Whatever one cal call "having sex" was my initiative only with no support from her side and still we experienced this physical sensation of relief when the sexual act was over. But bodily sensation of ejaculation is not really sex, is it? Of course no! Should I have agreed for that situation going on, live sexless life, and treated all the things the way they were and still to call our marriage a good one?

Sinking while trying to stay afloat

I feel my lips curl into a smile, I say “im doing okay, I’ve been busy.” No one wants to know your truth. They don’t want to sit there and listen to your sadness. They have there own Shit to deal with or they simply can’t help or understand. Sometimes I feel like my mind is drowning and im in a ocean full on thoughts. Sometimes my mind swims among the happy thoughts and it just floats, then there’s a wave. It crashes and pushes my brain around. It gets spun out to a bunch of thoughts that are harmful. It makes me feel drained and I feel like im sinking. Im not sure how to stay afloat. I try the lifeboat of pumping air throughout my brain, I drink the non salted water, but I can’t seem to get a grip. I keep on trying to fix the lifeboat, or try to purify the water, but it doesn’t seem to fix the taste.

Addicted to…porn?

For the last bunch of years our marriage has become relatively sexless. I’ve compensated by becoming addicted to porn. Not real porn, but posting photos of myself naked. Real nudes but not usually sexual. They’re actually quite popular. Go figure! I’m closer to 60 than 50, never work out, nothing special down there, but I do have an eye for the scene. It’s really nice to feel desired and appreciated. My wife would be appalled if she knew but I suspect she’d also be jealous and possessive if she read the responses.

It's amazing how much difference a day can make.

I saw the woman I have been madly in love with for almost three years now this morning. She had recently told me she's not interested in me, which shattered my heart. When I saw her this morning I was about as sad a loser as a man can feel like. She didn't look that good and I didn't feel as good as I had everytime I'd seen her and talked with her in the past. I was sad and depressed all day until a stunning Thai woman named Vanessa walked past me around 4pm. I said hello and she gave me a smile that melted my heart. I asked her out for dinner but she was a little too shy so we talked awhile. We decided to meet for lunch tomorrow. I am now so fucking happy it's not funny. From a women who seems to like to smash my heart to a beautiful woman who wants to be my friend and is obviously attracted to me in mere hours! Wow, life can be so weird.

I SAW YOU

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