I hate the students. Annoying!
He has these great qualities about him that he doesn't utilize. I think my school teachers used to call it "living up to your potential." I want to change or improve him but what does that say about me? You can't change or improve someone. Why does this bother me so much? That I want good things for him? Why can't I just live and let live?
So…a few weeks ago this childhood friend who I hadn’t seen in many decades searched me out on fb and sent me a friend request. I was really pleased to reconnect with them. We exchanged a few messages, but they live several hours away so it was really just the occasional message and not hanging out in person, but I was happy thinking that I’d made a new / old friend after all these years. But I’m a busy person with lots going on in my life and I don’t spend a lot of time texting or talking on the phone. All of my friends are the same; we’ve got stuff happening and families and whatnot, and sometimes my friends and I don’t talk for ages but we’re still friends. So out of the blue today I got this message from them angrily telling me they’re done with me because I’m too busy, then they blocked me! Wtf! As if we were in some kind of high school relationship or something. I always replied to their messages quickly and in a friendly way, so this was just so random. I’ve never experienced anything quite like it before and I’m still shaking my head and giggling.
My bf and I are in my early 20’s. He is mostly very sweet and good to me. He has always been really into video games as are his friends. They play shooters like COD. Anyway, i noticed he was acting weird sometimes with his phone. Like kind of hiding it. It didn’t bother me but one time i picked it up for him when he got a notification. He grabbed it so fast he almost hurt me. I asked him what the fuck? But he said he just wants privacy so i let it go. The other night he was passed out and he got another notification. I couldn’t help myself and looked at his messages. I know his password. I was horrified. He and his friends were passing around pictures of my younger sister. She is 16 and very pretty. He must have taken pics when were at the beach. Whats worse is the language they were using, so derogatory and disgusting. They were making literal rape jokes. About a 16 yo. I threw the phone at his head and screamed at him get out. He woke up confused but soon realized. He then got really really angry and started yelling how “it was just a joke!” I insisted he leave or I would call the cops. He left cursing and saying horrible things. I am considering telling his parents and his boss. My sister is underage and it just kills me that he would talk like that with loser gamer friends. Im just so shattered. What the fuck!
So the upcoming Guns and/or Roses concert... I just checked it's at BC Place (max capacity 54,000) and there are THOUSANDS of unsold tickets, at a minimum of $100 each. LOL! Honestly this kicks up a feeling of schadenfreude for me... to see another greedy band charging $100+ to see a washed up lead singer who has reportedly lost his voice to the ravages of age. GNR's music is also so outplayed and boring... how many times have you heard Welcome To The Jungle at a sports game or in a movie? Every time a GNR song comes on during a movie I cringe. This makes me happy to see them having this tour potentially blow up in their face. The balls it takes to try to play BC place and charge $100+... in this era of Ticketmaster's rapacious practices, it brings me great joy to see this tour failing.
I’m so conflicted. I have a family member who is a drug addict and who has hit rock bottom. They’ve used up every single friend they had. They can’t tell the truth because they lie so much that they don’t even know what truth is anymore. We can’t believe anything they say because it’s complete lies. This has been going on for many decades, and I’ve been saying this to my family for all this time, to no avail. In fact I’ve been accused of being hard hearted and mean because I’ve been advocating for tough love with them to stop enabling their addiction, but no one listened. Now things have reached a crisis and I’ve just learned that they have been shit-talking me to everyone who would listen, in spite of all the times I helped them out and how they tell me they love me when we talk. I knew about some of the lies they told about me in the past, but somehow hearing about how they’re talking about me now has made me feel really bad. I feel like just shutting them out of my life completely, for good. I know addicts aren’t really in control of their faculties, but still, I’m just really done and I don’t want anything more to do with them at all. I’m They’ve spent their whole life blaming everyone else for their problems while never doing a thing to help themselves. All they do is leech off of anyone who will let them. It’s disgusting and pathetic. But still, I’m conflicted because I do love them. Maybe I can forgive all the lies, but I think I still have to cut them out of my life.
I’m getting tired of being uptight all the time. It gets really exhausting, not just mentally and emotionally, physically. It’s tiring. I find myself paying too much attention to intricate details and minor problems, which then really wracks my brain. Whether it’s something stupid somebody might’ve said to me on the street or let’s say a bad memory from the past still it’s no use. It’s a waste of energy and time. I’d like to start trying to be more flexible and may be a bit more positive for once. I’m not the best person but I’m human. We all try.
What’s the point in bringing up the past when there’s nothing you can do about it? People often harp about how they long for “the good old days” or “coulda, woulda shoulda” and so forth etc. Wouldn’t it be better to just accept some situations as they are and move on? No use in worrying over things that can’t be changed.
Insomniac now because > I don’t want to go to bed because > I don’t want to wake up because > I loathe to be at my workplace where I’ve been physically threatened by the owner and also threatened that I could lose my job if I keep pressing for X. It’s impossible for me to relax with such an adrenaline dump at work. I drink heavily to try and get sleepy tired. I hate how I must be humiliated to get a paycheque. The working life sucks.
Whether it's a friendship, or a romantic relationship, or a family relationship, if it feels like work, if it's non-stop effort and pouring of your own energy into the relationship and winding up exhausted and drained, it's not really meant to be. Relationships should not feel like work. One should be accepted and worthy just for being themselves. You don't have to work, you just have to be.