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The Watering Hole

Years ago I spent a lot of time at this place. There were regulars and the music playing had a particular sound. There’s a way people dress when you go and everyone speaks a similar way. I’d drink what the patrons were having and talk about spirits. It felt like my whole life was there. And then I just…stopped going. Now when I am exposed to anything that has the faintest whiff of that place I get the heebie-jeebies. What I see looking in from the outside of those memories scares me and I will never go back to church.

Setting the Table

I would like New Years Day moved to March 1st. December is too crowded for events. The months that are named after numbers 7, 8, 9, and 10 will make sense again. January can be a month of rest. February a month of reflection, preparation, and celebration for the new year. And March is when spring begins.

I left before the parade started

I'm middle-aged was transitioning a few year to female but stopped as people thought I was a cross dresser even in the gay community I was thought & seen as a crossdresser not as a transwoman....so I stopped, since then I have identified as non-binary/gender nonconforming, yet still seen and referred to as "dude, buddy. sir" etc even though I try to ask to be seen as non-binary...... anyway today I went to check out the Pride Parade & left before it started....I have no friends, no connections with people in the community & when i saw people with their friends, family, girlfriends/, boyfriends/partners I felt like shit, these events are great if you have people to meet there or go with, not when you go by yourself...& no I don't happen to meet people there...it's been like this all the times I go....I don't want to go up to someone & introduce myself....that's creepy.....I don't identify as a cis male, I don't identify as a gay man....I don't know maybe I'm too alternative or something & Pride is just too mainstream....I don't know....I don't know what's wrong with me:(

Restaurants

should have a sink just for washing hands. In other countries you see them all the time. Its so frustrating waiting 10 minutes for people doing god knows what in the bathrooms. I just want to wash my hands before I eat! Also, to those who take forever in restaurant bathrooms: I hate you.

Phone Battery

I spend a lot of time answering the phone. The first two seconds of a call reveal what kind it will be. Flattery generally means someone wants something from you, likely a salesperson. Rambling means it’s going to be a long call. Background chatter and muffled rustling - a butt dial. But the worst call starts with the phrase, ‘You people’. It normally foretells a snide over generalized and paranoid one sided conversation where the caller emotionally dumps their putrid baggage they’ve been specially fermenting. Just. For. You. Of course you’re never allowed to fight back. You must kindly tell the person on the line that their language is inappropriate and let them know you will be hanging up. That response never sat well with me. I have yet to think of something better.

Just Music & Me

I've spent the whole day inside so far just listening to music. Peaceful.

Oohf

My resentment stems from my inability to act on my own needs.

Not so simple

When someone shares a traumatic experience with you, telling them that you would never tolerate that or that you don’t understand why they still love that person isn’t at all helpful. Those situations are far more complicated than most people realize. Love / hate happens all the time, and usually it happens when someone has been abused as a child. They don’t know what “normal” looks like. For example, they got sexually abused by someone they were taught to love, like a parent or grandparent. That person isn’t awful to them all the time, so they wind up feeling so confused and conflicted. They grow up and encounter other people who abuse them, but not all the time and they don’t know what normal is so it feels like love hurts, and they keep trying to do things differently so that person will treat them right, because they’re used to being blamed for their own mistreatment. So instead of immediately jumping to that conclusion and judging that person for being in that type of situation, try understanding why they’re in it in the first place. It can happen to anyone, even someone who appears to be strong on the outside.

SPCA

When I first moved to Vancouver, I went to a job interview but couldn't find the place. I did find a dog and took it home. The dog showed signs of being abused. I never tried to find it's owner and kept the dog.

Lonely but okay

I’m a 28 yo female, have never been in a relationship, and don’t have that many friends. I feel so free and spend my days off doing whatever I want. Shopping for anything, eating at restaurants, attending shows etc. It’s really fun yet too bad because the guy I really like is unavailable. It’d be nice to be able to go with someone to all these things. I’ll probably end up with him in 20 years after we marry and divorce other people. Am I terrible for hoping this will happen? Lots of sad things happened in my life this year so my main priority for now is taking care of my mom and responsibilities. In the future I’m sure I’ll meet the one.

I SAW YOU

Blue eyes, Blue Flowers, once in a Super...

We shared a trip on the CANADA line together and shared stories of travel, and family. I would...

SAVAGE LOVE

Dan Savage: That husband over there

A woman asks Dan for advice on encouraging her husband to have an anonymous encounter with another woman.