Confessions

POST A CONFESSION

Vancouver, how I loathe thee...

Every morning when I walk my dog through the Westend I see an elderly woman who sleeps on the porch of a property nearby. It breaks my heart that I have no clue how to help her get off the streets. I hate hearing about how "great" this city is and how strong our economy is while we have the homeless and drug addiction issues we have here. I cannot enjoy my personal success knowing that others in this city have been completely forgotten. I'd gladly take higher taxes to see this dealt with. These seniors could be myself in 40 years, they could have been my parents if they made the wrong moves, they could be my friends. I don't know when we as a society lost our way but we're past time to getting back on the trail.

A Woman

#MeToo is getting out hand.

people from bc

are cold selfish beasts. they only think of themselves. they are entitled narcissistists living on money earned from stolen lands. they use people and call it love.

That does it, Vancouver.

I'm tired of this one-sided, abusive relationship with you. I'm tired of all your promises of being "The best place on Earth". You aren't the city I grew up in as a child anymore. To be frank, you've become a hell of a narcissist, and I'll be damned if I remain around anymore for the discard stage in the form of a renoviction or new wave of overseas investors. I'm breaking up with you. I'm tired of squeeking by as a young person, paying for a shitty basement suite and barely making ends meet out here even as an educated person with a decent job. The fantasy of living with you? "Loads of outdoors activities. Social activities just a Meetup click away! Downtown bars and clubs and music shows. Trendy international food and craft beer! Oceanside activities and people from all across the globe flocking here! There's plenty to do if you have the right attitude!" The reality? "Crap job market. Crap pay. Cultural enclaves, shallow people, and an almost pervasive lack of community or openness. Go to a bar once in a blue moon when the buddies can actually swing it or afford it. Endure the pretentious hipster and vegan and yoga hell, and spend most of your days outside of work watching Netflix, smoking weed, or reading alone and wondering what the hell else is out there and where the people are, or if you're the one doing something wrong." Oh yes, you have activities all right. But you know what? Activities cost money. ESPECIALLY outdoors ones. And the only people that can consistently afford to do that shit and really live the world-famous "Vancouver Lifestyle" are vapid, rich assholes from overseas who don't give a shit about the country or the people. I'm tired of being consistently fucked over by your politicians, and of tolerating your over-the-top homelessness problem when I can barely feel safe on the streets or at peace knowing that people are suffering out here and are getting FUCK ALL for any real, substantial help. I'm tired of the overwhelming levels of distrust out here, of barely being able to approach strangers or new people at events because, for whatever reason, we just aren't that open to meeting new people out here. Most of all, I'll be damned if I spend the best years of my professional life out here, reach my 30's/40's, and STILL be unable to afford a house out here! I will NOT be pissing by with you when I know I can do way better for myself elsewhere. It breaks my heart to say this, but it's finally reached the point where you're just not worth it anymore. I have nothing left to give you. And you don't have anywhere close to the same culture or music scene as London, LA, or Toronto, so... If I were to be paying high rent anywhere, why on God's green earth am I wasting my time here? At least in a different city I can actually meet some people that are open to a real friendship or relationship outside of the people they grew up with, have access to a way better business network, meet a great woman, and otherwise gain everything I've ever longed for in you.

There is nothing...

... for men being abused by wives/mothers. The effect of psychological abuse from childhood onward is totally debilitating. The fact that there aren't bruises is irrelevant. Many men are abused by their mothers, then marry an abusive woman who continues the psychological violence. And all the while I have to hear all of this garbage in the media about how all women are "victims", all men are "abusers." Talking about it with clinicians, the likely response is actually "your poor mother, it must be so hard for her that you don't get along with her." It's just such sexism, it runs so deep. For as long as I can remember, every 24-36 hours I'm told I'm stupid, worthless, useless, etc. Is it any wonder we have so many young men dying alone of fentanyl poisoning? How many of them were abused by their mothers? Are we even investigating this? Of course not, women don't abuse men, that's unpossible! Of course, in reality, we know it's not: studies of abuse show that a minority of both genders are abusive, and the split is something like 60-40 male-female, not 90-10 or anything ridiculous like that. We even have data from lesbian relationships showing abuse in those---it would be hilarious watching radical feminists try to shoe-horn that into "it's the patriarchy, stupid" except the consequences are measured in abused children. And the advice given to men is usually to "man up, deal with it yourself." We spend millions of dollars helping women leave abusive environments, there is no money for men to leave abusive environments, and at the University level, if men try to start a Men's Health/Issues club, it is always opposed. Who cares? Nobody cares. Men are expected to work, pay taxes, keep quiet. And if a man is being abused by his wife/mother? Oh, too bad, those taxes, they're earmarked for women!

Would It Kill Guys To Make An Effort?

When you're going out how about dressing up a little? That would mean no jeans,even if they're not blue.Actual shoes and not hikers or sneakers. Ditch the sweater what about a nice shirt,and no not a red plaid shirt. We women put in a lot of effort to dress up,do make up and make an effort to look great so maybe shave and at least make SOME effort.

'Hobo Life'

Times have been tough. I lost my job, had a breakdown, and almost got evicted. Since then I've kept my spending to a bare minimum, and just on the necessities to survive. I've worked hard at it, and have been lucky enough to get back on my feet recently; and, while things remain tight and I know that I have to be careful with my spending, I couldn't help but celebrate today. In addition to buying some soap, I went to Tim Hortons and bought myself a sandwich, coffee, and donut. While this doesn't sound like much, I'm still happy and grateful to have this. It's definitely more than I could afford before and many folks have been less fortunate and have much less. I'm hopeful that things will continue to get better. For all you folks out there in the same boat, I hope you find your way out too!

The love

Everyday, when I walk down the street, or sit at a coffee shop or on the bus, or go to class, I get so much love from people. I get smiles, I get told I'm beautiful from random strangers, I share jokes, laughs, smiles with people from all walks of life. I am complimented regularly by people who know me and those who don't. I get a lot of stares-in a good way. Sometimes I'll get something for free, whether a donut or just whatever. I almost feel like a celebrity but I'm a nobody :D And I just want to express my gratitude. Thank you for all the love people.

Hey bus stop smokers,

it ain't cool to light up at a crowded bus stop and instead of you moving a few yards away you force the rest of us to move a few yards away. I've been getting into some nasty verbal battles over this issue lately but I'll keep telling you inconsiderate, selfish pricks to MOVE when you light up!

It Just Happened

A few weeks ago I accidentally slept with my girlfriends sister. We both felt awful after but the sex was amazing and we have great chemistry together. We have a lot in common and I think she's a better fit for me. Now she's texting me to meet again and I don't think I can until I break things off but I can't tell her the reason. I also don't know how her families going to react. Probably not in a good way. I just don't know what to do without hurting someone.

Left Coast BC

I am secretly so sick of the Left Coast and Left leaning media. - I am convinced that the Georgia Straight monitors only let left leaning posts go through Confessions. - Have you noticed that when there are left leaning, feminist or #metoo postings on newpapers, the media is often blocking user comments (so they can get on their pulpit and preach without response)? - Men are way more likely to be victims of violence, but we need to "stop violence against women"...how about we stop violence...period? ... cause I am pretty sure guys don't want to get beaten either ...from other guys, violent girls (yes it happens). I am a father of a daughter, a husband of over 20 years, a brother of sisters and son of a great mom. I am surrounded by super awesome women. I am the biggest fan of the women in my life, but this us and them polarity needs to stop for dialogue to start in the media. But in this "woke" conversation, if there is only a one sided dialogue...why both listening?

How to be happy

For the last past few years, I've been miserable. I had a lot of resentment towards my wife and the doldrums of work and family life. I knew I should have been happy, but wasn't, and I didn't know how to get out of the funk. But the one thing that seemed to work above all else, was keeping a written journal of things I am grateful for, little and big things that I liked, enjoyed, appreciated, or made me smile. It started out small and somewhat trivial. I am grateful for the clear blue skies today. I am grateful that the office has free coffee. In the first week, I felt this exercise was lame, but as the weeks went by, I discovered I could easily write 5+ things daily. After a month, I started appreciating more meaningful things, like "I am grateful I have a roof over my head" after passing a homeless man on the street. For a long time, I was counting my disappointments instead of my blessings. I was blaming other people, my wife, my kids, my coworkers, strangers on the street, bad drivers... for all the things that annoyed or irritated me. I ruminated about past wrongs. By keeping my gratefulness journal, I noticed a shift in my feelings. That in turn, changed my behaviors and actions. I use to curse when I got wet in the rain, or sigh and frown while washing the evening dishes, feeling trapped in the daily grinds of life. This negativity took a toll on me and was extremely draining. It prevented me from making the necessary changes in my life. I now have more energy (even if I don't have more time) to invest in myself and accomplish my goals. So if you're stuck in a rut, I challenge you. Keep a daily gratefulness journal. Each day, list at least one different "I am grateful for/that ..." each day. Do this for at least a month, and go from there.

Be A Part Of The Solution

If you moved here after the winter olympics, go back to where you came from. Things were nice here before you showed up.

This is what happens when you ask a man out

Two of my female friends asked guys out. Both men said yes and then two relationships formed. Success, right? Well, it depends on how you look at it. One of these relationships continued on for a few years. It did not progress. So again my female friend took the lead and then asked the male to marry her. She had the ring for him. He said yes. My other female friend’s relationship has not progressed either. They talked about planning a wedding, but he has neither proposed, nor is showing any initiative in planning a wedding. So, Vancouver women, i don’t recommend asking guys out. Why? Because you’re setting the tone that you will do everything, all the emotional work, and the guy can remain passive and inert, just like how you met him. I like, no, love decisive men. Men who know they have to step up to the plate, take action for what they want. I would never date a passive man and would never reward him for his meek behaviour with me. This is what you’re setting yourself up for, for the life of the relationship , if you willfully bind yourself to a passive male.

I SAW YOU

Beginners' Yoga Class

We nearly bumped into each other leaving after the first two classes. After the final class we...