Confessions

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My Sexwork And Dating Don't Mix

I'm a female sex-worker in Vancouver. During my time of in this field, I've been single. Partly by choice, and partly because of people's biases/morals and phobias. There are so many people that are whore-phobic, fat-phobic (yes I'm a big girl) and they don't seem to like the fact that I CHOOSE this line of work, and I'm a big chick that get's PAID to do it. They seem to think I'm a cool cat until the "I'm a sex-worker" comes up during conversation. I've been ghosted, told off, told to "get a REAL job" I can't date a sex-worker (because insecurities y'all) The thing is, this is a JOB. I do all my administration, advertising, social media management, communication, scheduling, web design. My job doesn't define me, just like a Dr isn't just a DR. I really wish people would step outside their comfort zones and see me as a human being, someone that is worthy of having a partner. I see myself as being enough. I don't judge people for their occupations, why do you judge me for mine?

Outsider

As ridiculous as it sounds, I feel like an outsider for not using social media. I have a few accounts, but I rarely, if ever, post anything. I consider myself lucky to have a good life, a great partner, a successful career, great hobbies, etc. I’ve visited many beautiful places with my partner and we’ve done amazing things together ( that 90% people would be physically unable to do), but I’ve never felt the need to share my photos with 100+ “ friends”. Unfortunately, this has put me at a disadvantage in this narcissistic society where people think sharing photos of their dinners, their haircuts and their babies every single day should be the norm. I am secretly waiting for the time when the social media evils will be exposed to prove everyone that not using it can be in fact a sign of sanity and not vice-versa.

Shut up or leave!

I get angry when newcomers or visitors (and more often than not it seems that Australians are the worst for this) whine about or make fun of the rain here. You should have done some research before coming—we basically live in a temperate rainforest. You know all those beautiful trees and the lush green spaces you like to take selfies in? Not possible without the rain. Rain is life here, and it's beautiful. If you want nonstop heat and glaring sun, go to a desert. And show some respect for Mother Nature; the land doesn't exist to serve your delusional, ignorant vacation dreams.

My wife’s privileged upbringing

Me and my wife are educated professionals that can support ourselves. She was brought up in an upper middle class home by highly educated and wealthy parents while I grew up poor(homeless father, neighbourhood stabbings and no dentist poor). Normally it’s manageable but recently the disparity is becoming more apparent(and vexing). We want to install 2000ish square feet of hard wood flooring and she is furious that installers won’t guarantee a finish date or that they won’t give a discount if the job takes longer than expected. When I tell her we will most likely have to pay extra or hand the workers a few hundreds to make sure the job is finished on time, she can’t accept it. She can’t accept that in a wealthy city reliable trades people are more in demand than masters educated professionals. I am getting tired of trying to get this Reno done. All I keep thinking is letting her continue to piss off installers and carpenters, so when we miss our deadlines she will hopefully wake up and realize it’s not how educated you are but rather what you can DO.

Incentives

The increase in minimum wage makes me less interested in learning a skill or trade. Why go to school to make 20 bucks an hour when you make 14 no matter what you do? This might sound strange, but at least for me this kind of takes away the incentive to get a better job.

A day like any other

I never had a relationship with my father. He was and is a selfish, self-absorbed tiny man who made everyone miserable in his wake. He ruined every holiday and every birthday, every vacation and every family gathering . He left a message just before Father's Day rambling about hoping I wouldn't hate him for the rest of his life and other nonsense . Whatever, I only heard a few words before erasing it, I finally had enough and decided to block him. If he dies, I'll eventually see something on google. He can keep the inheritance that he dangles, using his money to snag attention like the way a person has porkchops tied to their ears so dogs will approach him. It's a nightmare that I'm glad I don't ever have to see or hear from again. I ignore this holiday meant to honor normal fathers. I use it to celebrate my life and freedom from his awfulness. I didn't ask to be born. I didn't ask to come here. He failed his job, his duty, his responsibility. I owe him nothing. I think I'll get an ice cream.

Snooze You Lose

I don't volunteer right-of-way to people looking at their phones.

Been clean and sober for a couple of months

And I got a phone call from a female acquaintance who I’ve shared a FWB relationship with for several years. She was quite drunk when she called me, slurring her words and really annoying and it made me realize that this is how obnoxious I probably sounded in the past when I’d “drink and dial”. Makes me more committed than ever to my sobriety.

Relief!

Due to a great deal of extreme stress and trauma over the past few years, I found myself drinking more and more. One glass became two, then two became 3. Mostly wine, but every day. I was beginning to feel that I was physically addicted to it, because the thought of going without it for even one day was stressful. However, I’ve just gone an entire week without any alcohol, and experienced no withdrawal symptoms whatsoever. I’m SO relieved! So now my plan is to just go back to social drinking and only on weekends. Turns out I don’t need it after all.

The trouble with porn

To all the guys out there that spend a lot of time watching porn, I hope you know that it can lead to ER (erectile dysfunction) when it comes to being with an actual person. The more you watch, the less you’ll get turned on by normal sex. You’ll need increasingly “different” types of images to excite you, because your mind becomes habituated to anything you see all the time, and it no longer gives you the same stimulation. I know a guy who was once considered a real stud, for good reason. However, he started watching a lot of porn and now the only thing that excites him is uber-kinky stuff that he can’t find with 99% of women. So now Mr. Stud is a Mr. Dud. So...Unless you plan to never have actual sex again, you may want to cool it with the porn.

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