Confessions

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BC Legislature

Yes, women should cover up. This is coming from a woman. If women want the right to go sleeveless, let's ensure men can do the same, and wear tank tops to the BC Legislature too. Bare shoulders is not professional on either men or women. Cover the eff up. I've worked and currently work with women in the office who wear low-cut, freckle-showing cleavage, backless tops, spaghetti strap dresses and skirts ending about 2" from the end of their butt. The office is not a nightclub or a bar or a fashion show or a burlesque show. You're there to work. I don't take any of these women seriously who show off 60% of their body skin at the office. Imagine a man showing up in tiny running shorts with side slits and a tank top showing 60% body skin in a meeting of 12 people. Think people are not equally grossed out? For the record, I'm not some "jealous type"; I'm a size 4 and extremely fit. But I cover up because showing flesh is nasty and cheap, whether you're male or female at work.

A late-night walk downtown

Mid-30s guy here. I've lived in Vancouver for the better part of two decades, and used to spend a lot of time downtown around Granville and Davie and Robson. I live in Olympic Village nowadays, and don't get downtown as often as in my twenties. Went for a walk last night, down Granville to Davie, to Denman, and then down Robson to the Canada Line. Jesus. The abandoned storefronts. The plethora of cannabis shops and no-name Chinese junk stores. Everything from Davie and Nicola down to English Bay obliterated. Half-built condo towers with fencing and hoarding everywhere. Ruined view-cones. The dozens and dozens of empty restaurants and bars. The teeming masses of people clearly not from the area, pushing and shoving their way down the streets. Do we really need more of them in this city? What's happened to downtown, and the West End in particular? I remember it being vibrant and exciting even fifteen years ago. Now it just all feels depressing. Am I alone?

I can’t take it anymore

If I have to read one more post from those guys that constantly talk about how hard men have it because their ex “took everything they had”, I’m going to lose it. Legally there’s something called family property. It applies EQUALLY to both parties in a relationship. That includes spousal support if the court determines that one spouse was financially dependent on the other for some reason. That support is virtually never for an extended period of time unless the spouse granted it is totally incapable of earning their own money. Often it’s granted to the spouse who is largely responsible for the day to day care of small children, and who was at stay at home parent. Even then it’s not a forever situation. As for child support, you’re not “giving” that money to your ex, you’re supporting your children. Just like children are supposed to benefit from their parents’ ability to enjoy a certain lifestyle, the courts expect that both parties will continue to ensure that the children can continue to enjoy the same lifestyle as much as possible. The people who complain that they have to pay so much to their ex often also seem to forget that it’s their children who are the ultimate recipient. Child support isn’t just to buy clothes and toys! It’s so that the children will be able to live in a decent place. So they’ll have the same ability to enjoy activities that they did during the marriage such as extracurricular sports or lessons. So that they don’t have to suffer any more than they already are because their parents broke up. Family property includes things that were purchased during the relationship or earned during the relationship, such as pensions. Those are split between both parties, not just the guy’s. Lots of women have pensions too and they are subject to exactly the same laws. The only reason that more men are paying a larger proportion of support is because on average men still earn significantly more than their female partner. Usually it’s the women who give up the opportunity to earn more when they have children, because they are often the ones doing the majority of child care and / or family support such as managing the household. The courts recognize that just because someone isn’t being paid with a paycheque doesn’t mean they’re not contributing in a big way to the family income. Having one person taking care of household related matters is often the only reason the other person is able to achieve what they do in a career, and therefore why they have higher earnings. The courts don’t look at the gender of the person as much as they look at the income potential that person has when they determine things like child or spousal support. Btw, as a female in the legal profession who has also been married and divorced, I can speak from experience because I left the marriage with much less property than my former spouse. We had joint custody of our children and both of us paid child support to whichever of us was the primary childcare provider at the time. My financial circumstances changed for the worse substantially following the divorce, whereas his improved shortly thereafter. He got the house, because our children lived primarily with him for the first couple of years and we all decided that it was better for the kids to stay in their own home and go to their same schools. So PLEASE stfu about how your evil ex “took” everything. It was half theirs and they’re entitled to it!

True Dat

My girlfriends awesome its just I like porn better for getting off then her. Its available 24 hours a day, the women are smoking hot all the time, and they never nag me about cleaning. A lot of guys feel this way but because of society they have to stay quiet.

Now that weed is legal

Can 4/20 stop? I don't want to pay 1 million in policing costs and repairs for their stupid festival. Smoke your fucken weed elsewhere.

Men I don't know

I am tired of men I don't know thinking I need or even want their help because I'm in a wheelchair. If I need your help I'll ask. Stop touching my chair. I'm a sexual abuse/rape survivor, I've been sexually assaulted on transit multiple times by men. As a man you are a threat.

Sometimes

I feel like I’m suffocating in Vancouver. I live in a cramped condo with 2 others. Stores arrange their wares in jam-packed square footage with narrow aisles. Transit is packed, ALL the time. Too many people everywhere all the time. I honestly just want to be, without space or time pressure. If I look for an outside place to eat, again packed with people sitting too close to me with the music blaring. I feel tense all the time and I just can’t unwind. My office is open concept and I’m surrounded by people at close range. I’m planning an escape out of here because this kind of spatial in-your-faceness is killing my soul. I just want to hear the birds sing and wind blowing through the trees. My job pays well and I’m going to use my savings to buy a place where it’s mostly empty. I’m finding I’m doing things at weird hours like grocery shop at 7am and going to the mall at 8pm to avoid humans and crowding. There’s no respite.

Jody Wilson-Raybould

Don't know how this will shake out in the next election but hope we don't go from bad to worst. How bout Jody Wilson-Raybould for the next P.M. She's not only got obvious integrity, but she's also a women and, even tho I'm a male of the species ... I feel it is time to give the female half a chance. After all, look how us men have brought this world to the brink of destruction. Fact is - women carry and birth the children. Fact is - women have a greater compassion than us men ........ Perhaps Jody should be more than P.M. Maybe she should be Leader of the U.N.

Owning a vehicle

It irks me that so many people in this city seem to think one needs a vehicle. Barring any special circumstances (e.g. certain disabilities, or having a lot of young kids to cart around), you really don't need one here. Maybe if you have to commute *really* far to and from work (e.g. Abbotsford-Vancouver)... But even if it's a fair distance, if you have the option of transit (e.g. Surrey-Vancouver), taking the train and a bus or two is probably faster than sitting behind the wheel and dealing with overturned semi-trucks etc. for over two hours. Cars are really, really nice to have, sure. They're convenient as hell. I miss being able to just slide behind the wheel of my own car and go wherever I want in a shorter amount of time, keeping dry from the rain, not having to wait around for a bus or train that's late, dealing with overcrowding... But I've lived both lifestyles throughout my life, and a car is simply not necessary. They're money pits, let's be honest -- and in an already expensive city with low median incomes, shelling out every month for exorbitant insurance and gas and maintenance really hurts most people's bank accounts. Not to mention that cars are shit for our environment... So it's annoying when people express genuine surprise when others don't own cars. It happens to me frequently. Are these people from out of town places where it's unthinkable not to own one? Have they never taken the bus or train here? What's the deal? PS - this topic makes me even more angry when I remember all the people who voted 'no' in that referendum... We need to think about the future. Better public transit makes for better living in cities. Period.

Run to the hills!

Any time I hear a woman mention 'the one,' or 'prince charming' or 'my knight in shining armour' or something like that, I run for my life. I wish you the best, but you have expectations that I cannot live up to. Maybe I am lame and unromantic. Or maybe Disney has lied to you about what you should expect from a man.

I SAW YOU

Ice Col Dreams

You waiting in line at matchstick Chinatown then crossing the street in shades, me post boxing...

SAVAGE LOVE

Savage Love: She was right to ditch this email snoop

I found out about a past boyfriend and looked through her emails. I found out she dated her married boss for three years.