Confessions

POST A CONFESSION

Incompatibility

I confess that one of the final nails in the coffin was the incompatible belief systems between us. I had managed to push down the revulsion I frequently felt when they would express blatantly sexist or racist behaviour, although they would claim to be “just kidding”, because so many other things about the relationship were great. But the staunch support they had for that monster down south was a definite tipping point. I just cannot understand how any decent person can support someone who is so obviously completely corrupt and morally repugnant. To me that indicates a truly problematic character flaw, and that feeling added to the other issues was eating away at me to the point where I just couldn’t ignore it any longer. Some things are simply too important to deny.

I feel annoyed

I'm mostly annoyed with myself mind you. It's the end of yet another first date. Once again, my date sweetly insists he walk me to my car. That's very kind thank you but it's unnecessary. I am perfectly safe - I also prefer you not know what kind of car I drive, but I appreciate the sentiment. Albeit I'm far happier to walk you to your car to feel like I've done my duty in keeping you safe. Heh, don't worry I recognize the, what is that, irony? Okay so sure he walks me to my car and then I turn to say here's my car and thanks again for tonight...and I don't even want to look, but oh, yep, there it is. That Look. Come on! This is a first date man! I've spent what? An hour or longer getting a general first impression of you. And now you are giving me That Look. The look that says I want to kiss you aka exchange bodily fluids with you. Are you serious? I've spent more one on one time with my dentist but that doesn't mean I'm making out with him. Instead, I give you a hug and thank you again for the evening. I berate myself on my car ride home, did I do the wrong thing? Was I supposed to kiss him? It felt nice hugging him and that seemed an appropriate progression of physical cues. Kissing though? Hell no. I need more time for my body to get accustomed to being around someone in a neutral way before even considering that level of intimacy. I have to wonder though if everyone moves at their own pace and perhaps this too is a litmus test for compatibility.

Spoiled

Back when I first met my SO, someone warned me about this. She said that I'll get used to highly intelligent company, and it will destroy my tolerance for the mass of humanity. Seemed unlikely, as I've been dealing with normies for decades. Well, she was exactly right. Sent my very introverted, burned-out partner off to Whistler for a spa/dinner/elite-hotel birthday overnighter. My treat. Turns out, she packed a couple of my books for light reading - the Tao Te Ching (Mitchell version), and a short work on game theory. Called me that same evening, about how she couldn't put Mitchell down, and will have to reread it a bunch because amazing... Then I had to take a call with a more normal relative. Oy. I mean, I've always been cynical. Childhood and adolescence of disease, brutality and deprivation. Adulthood of stress, trauma, overwork and bad sleep... But this is different. More intensely misanthropic. Definitely, New Level Unlocked.

wonderful people

when I take public transport, I like to look at people and it amazes me how many smiles I see and how wonderful people really are .thank you for being friendly

second grader miscreant.

When I was a little kid I really enjoyed the suffering of my classmates. I would pull numerous pranks and enjoy them. One of my favourite pranks was putting ketchup packets from the cafeteria underneath the toilet seats. When they sat down the packs would explode and spread they gooey goodness everywhere. I would see people walk all over school with ketchup stains. I would laugh my ass off and go home.

Nancy Pelosi

Omg I have a huge lesbian crush on Nancy Pelosi and I'm straight!!! ish

Nancy Pelosi

Omg I have a huge lesbian crush on Nancy Pelosi and I'm straight!!! ish

Nothing Beats

Being mobbed and nibbled on by a clowder of 5 week old kittens, in my humble opinion. I'd love to receive a basket of kittens everyday if it were possible and just watch my stress melt away while trying to cuddle them all.

Beer store tantrum

Pouring out the tip jar in front of my face because I didn’t tip you for ringing in a 20 dollar bottle of booze? I work in the service industry and work damn hard. I know how to tip. That was laughable, thanks for making my day.

I SAW YOU

Long beautiful curly brown hair

You were wiping the water off the customer seat on the patio at bakery brewery. Sunday. Feb 16...

SAVAGE LOVE

Savage Love: How to make your boyfriend “the girl”

How do I be more “the guy” for my boyfriend who wants to be more “the girl”?