Confessions

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Colder and colder

Sure the weather is cold and dreary. But everyone seems to be acting much colder too, unusually cold, needlessly cold. I was on a bus and a guy was seated in front of me with a sign to give it up for elders or the disabled. All these really old chinese people got on and he was bust sending texts, ignoring them all. I would have given up my seat if i wasn't in agonizing pain with a back operation approaching. Standing is hell, standing on a bus bouncing around is worse. I felt like nobody gives a damn about anyone. Like everyone is lost in narcissism. You may think i sound suicidal but i would never have the courage to do that. Id screw it up and make my life far worse. That's just an aside as to why i applied for M.A.I.D. I will probably be denied, knowing my luck, due to all my issues being invisible to others and gritting my teeth and baring the enormous pain i feel regularly. Its like dental nerve pain all through my arms, legs, shoulders and head. My life sucks. Yes. But i wouldn't want to be here anyway if i felt fine. P.s. the world needs to send a message to all governments that murder is not acceptable.

Males versus Females

Feminism versus ... what is going on? There's some sort of imbalance that has been going on. People are starting to see that men are needlessly suffering for the sake of virtues bestowed upon us my academics and government. But at the end of the day, men are not doing so well for the most part. I hope they get the support they need.

Mirror mirror on the wall

Sometimes I look in the mirror and nobody’s there. I just keep on staring. No reflection on me of course.

Mama always said

My mom always told me that she inherently thought parents try to do right for their kids. Sure my dad had walked out and disproved that in many ways, but for the most part I let her have her beliefs. The last few years changed my mind through. Social media, vaping, energy drinks, online gambling, a pandemic that in Canada stretched an extra year longer than the rest of the worlds. Everyone of those things are red flags that we knew before hand, and have allowed to happen anyways. Young adults are passing at a higher rate due to drugs than any time in BC history. If we're doing things right why have every metric we use to measure crashed and burned the last few years. Can't always blame everything bad on a boogie man.

Always fresh? Not particularly

So I hear Tim Horton’s now has a retro collection with their old school logo marked on merchandise. If Timmy’s wanted to impress me, then all they have to do is bring back good stuff that they had in back in the day like the garden vegetable sandwich, The blueberry bran muffin, and chilli in a bread bowl. I stopped going there a long time ago ever since the Company was bought by an American corporation.

Priorities

I worry more about the well being of celebrities then for people who are actually vulnerable

I...

... miss my ex. It has been nearly 15 years. Oh well.

Dank you veddy much

Someday, I’d love to disappear from everything. I’ve had this fantasy of faking my own death and just like Andy Kaufman. What a brilliant unique comic genius. He was the Joaquin Phoenix and Sacha Baron Cohen of the 70s.

Not what I expected

The weird thing is that even though they treated me like garbage for a long time, I don’t hate them or wish them harm. I thought that I would enjoy treating them the same way they treated me, but I don’t. What I feel now is pity. I have no desire to hurt them, and it pains me to think that maybe I have. But after so many years of being treated like an option and not being valued, I made a choice in favour of myself, and I will continue to do that from now on.

Friendship and Hot Buttons

I have an old and dear friend. He has hot buttons for the War in Ukraine and Gaza. I walk on eggshells. If I push one of the hot buttons, he will go away and sulk for a year. Sometimes he tries to push one of the buttons, but I won’t play.

I SAW YOU

Happy Day Cafe on Kingsway

You were sitting by yourself & you ordered a few Curry Fish Balls and a few deep-fried Spring...