There happens to be a certain point where lusting after an unrealized relationship ruins all chance of it ever being successful IF it was even requited. I don't know exactly when this point happens, it might depend on your age and gender, but it's definitely less than the 13-14 years I've thought about them. So why do I still dream?

Can't find a family doctor, no one is taking new patients. Doctors are like leprechauns you may see one crossing the road but you can't get an appointment with one. Walk in clinics no longer doing walk in appointments they are only seeing their own patients. But the signs outside their office still say walk in clinics. Now I hear the emergency room at the hospital has new hours 8am to 8 pm only for emergency care. What is going on? What happens if you get hurt at 9pm ? What are you supposed to do ? If you can't walk in to the emergency at the hospital, does that mean the only way to get care is by the ambulance bringing you in ? That's going to put a lot of pressure on the ambulance services, wait times will be ridiculous. And doesn't it cost to take a ride in the ambulance? Once again what's going on? Apparently don't get sick or have an accident ! You know how to get more doctors ? Free education for the medical profession that might interest people to get involved, become a doctor!! Ridiculous Health Care !!

I haven’t been well and working with medical professionals to figure things out. The problem: an MD wants to prescribe drugs for depression that have unhelpful side affects, a psychiatrist wants to label mentally illness and won’t help unless I take drugs, a gynaecologist says things are fine aside from many fibroids. I ask them all, how are my hormones? Oh your TSH is fine. The Naturopath being the only professional to order hormone tests and the results were far below. When following symptoms thyroid problems check out. I am now on medication. I have so many questions. How many medical professionals does it take to get well?

I like to read 1-Star Google reviews of businesses in Vancouver where I've also had bad experiences.

I had always been cocky. Always flexing, always going to the gun show. Not conceited just full of self strength and passion through sports. That shit went dormant for 2+ years. Really, it was last winter where I lived many things did not open up the same, plus with similar tough openings as everywhere else. I moved cities, I uprooted my life. I was comfortable, but I had lost things mattered. I have one more day left before the winter break of a current season of sports. I've been flexing for the last 3 or so weeks non stop. No injuries, no excuses, not all days have been good and being rusty and out of shape is tough on the self conscious.... but holy shit getting recreational sports back is and was worth the plight. I loved where I lived but I lost what I loved about life. Dreams about sacrifice. I did not have the belief in myself I could uproot and move, but here I am. My Christmas in years flexing in full effects.

A few nights ago some dick snapped the old fashioned antenna on my beater truck. I swore when I discovered it. Pain in the ass to replace but... guess what? Better radio reception than before. I confess I'm a bit confused as to whether or not I should condemn the tool for the vandalism or thank them maybe??

Dating sites have pleasantly changed a lot, yet I still struggle to stay on them for more than 24 hours before I delete them. Regular group outings might work for me if I could muster the courage to get myself out there, yet it’s challenging to feel worthy of love. That’s an inside job I’m not sure how to broach. With each profile I come across I ask myself, does he look genuinely happy, could I get off staring into those loving eyes, and, would this person even be attracted to me? There’s so much more to attraction than this. Trust, safety, mutual respect, communication, boundaries, values, reflection. I feel overwhelmed and starved.