I don't know how to be part of things. My whole life I feel like I am watching other people participate in the world, and I'm just watching from the outside. I don't know how to break through and connect with people and things, it's like they have some capacity that I don't. Don't get me wrong, I survive, I have a job and apartment. I just feel so detached from everything, like I don't have the capacity to care about things or love anyone.
I feel like I'm in bum fuck Idaho.
Seriously the little store is an hour walk away. I'm at the bloody end of town here where the cows live.
Put this on my grave " She walked herself to death and made a mean brisket".
Oh Lord Help Me !
Me (a woman) & my husband (a man) want to attend the upcoming Pride festival events (particularly the lesbian ones) as his birthday is coming up during the celebrations (we are both straight) we are hoping to meet a woman there even though she would be lesbian as a present for him (I might kiss the girl but I'm into girls myself as it would be for my husband)...
So I told a female coworker what we want to do & she says go to a straight bar or nightclub instead as going to a lesbian event when it's for my husband would be inappropriate & not for straight couples looking for their lesbian unicorn....I say so what....we can do what we want....we just want to party & have fun & a little action while we're at it.
I was out with a few of my girlfriends last night and couldn't help but realize that of the 8 of us 7 were single. We are all extremely beautiful, educated, and successful women. We were all dressed up and couldn't help but notice most of the men looked like they had just rolled out of bed. We're not expecting the men to be wearing suits or dress shirts. We're just expecting them to be wearing clean shirts and shoes. When did it become acceptable to be wearing sandals to a club?
Men please put some effort in when you go out or you are going to end up alone.
I’m now at a point in my life where I’ve reached that stage of outliving friends, childhood friends, and my friend’s parents. Life takes on new meaning now. Literally my friend went on vacation, broke his back surfing, came back a paraplegic and then died. I’m a space cadet and my mind is preoccupied and not present. I’m forgetting basics, my mind scattered. A woman yelled at me in a public washroom because I forgot to flush the toilet before she entered the stall. I apologized immediately and felt embarrassed. Try not to blow up when you perceive you’ve been wronged. Maybe people are thinking about someone’s fatal concussion or throat cancer and are preoccupied. Life can literally end tomorrow and there’s nothing you can do about it. It’s scary and sobering.
Or am I becoming yet more handsome as I get older?
Is that possible?
Yes, that's what I want. I'm hiding from the sun. I don't like it being sunny all that much, especially when it's over 25 C. I miss the luxury of a basement.
... has started throwing things at me. I am disabled, live at home for economic reasons. I have dealt with a father who was physically abusive as well as an abusive brother who ended up dying in his 20s due to drug abuse. I recognize the pattern---she has escalated to throwing objects. if I go through any of these "domestic abuse" pamphlets the Government prints and substitute "mom" for "spouse" and "child" for "spouse" it is literally what she is doing to me and has done for much of my life. Historically she would, like, poke me in the chest, tell me she wanted to knock my head off.
I just don't know how much more of this I can take, and there is zero support. I literally just need a few hundred more dollars a month from the ministry, and I can move out.
She displays zero insight into her condition, as was the case for my father and brother. father was physically abused by his adoptive father, doesn't understand you can't strike someone because you dislike their conduct. Brother was socialized to believe he was allowed to strike me because "I'm the bigger one."
I just want off this ride. It's so horrible.
If I could have my way I would buy a small RV and travel around seeing new places stopping in little towns along the way, meeting new people and live life on the road. Take the roads less traveled and camp all over B.C. and get back to nature and record all my escapades on video camera then maybe get a reality T. V. Show.
Dreams and Wishes :)
I am a big girl and I don't understand why its so hard to find a quality man. I am a really nice person with a lot to offer to a man. I want to get married and have children. Big girls deserve love too.