Confessions

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What was that?

For years I’ve saved up my returnable (bottles and cans) recycling for a few weeks before putting it out in a separate bag for the binners who (I assumed) were picking it up. I do this in lieu of handing out money on the street, and I feel like they’re doing a legitimate job and they work hard. But I’m not going to do it anymore after what just happened. So I’m walking out to the alley behind my building with my bag of bottles tonight in the dark when I encounter a well-dressed middle aged woman digging into the blue bin, while her companion in a white BMW or Mercedes sat idling waiting for her to collect her haul. I’m just so grossed out by this. Seriously? They need the money so much that they sneak around in the dark in an expensive car digging through blue bins? Wtf? Just gross. So lady, that’s the last time you’re getting a damned thing from me. From now on I’m taking my returnable stuff to the depot myself, and I’ll collect the money and donate it to people who actually need it.

HCW

I'm a nurse in critical care. Seen it all throughout the pandemic and came out a shell of a person. I see why patients complain about us having a lack of empathy, and being monsters overall. They're not wrong and I hate admitting that. I can't even describe how difficult these years have been, and we've been expected to maintain our cool throughout but in conditions like that, it was just not possible. I'm gonna put myself through de-escalation training all over again and try to rewire my brain to be the empathetic nurse I was before all this happened. I dont like who I've become. I never show my patients how little empathy I have for them when they aren't truly suffering, but I've gotten to the point where I dont feel the empathy that I normally would unless they are in seriously critical condition. Suffering is subjective and I want to re-teach that to myself until I genuinely feel it. I'm sorry to all patients who have experienced substandard care from a group of beyond exhausted nurses/docs. This is not how healthcare should be and I'm going to try and be better. PLEASE be patient with us--ill try and spread the word.

Hello Hello

Just today, started saying hello to complete strangers on the street. From living here in Vancouver all my life I know it's not super common, but I thought it might be cool and make things more cheerful and less crappy.

Midlifer

When you finally meet your threshold/you’re tapped out. you face that place where you just don’t know anymore. I have done everything to find a job that will at least recognize my experience- to no avail. But I suppose it’s either an attitude of - They will have to pay more for experience or they won’t put up with your Bs?! The Covid shite hasn’t really changed the worksphere- all the greedy are back and not going to think about amending their conditions. The ‘ inclusive’ tag added is a load of bullpucky. I recently had to endure an interview from-a person half my age - who asked me what was I looking for ‘ at this stage of my career’. (A job would be nice, with a living wage would be better, ta.) I had a life, and it changed suddenly and not in my favour, so now I am having to reinvent myself @ 55. Please don’t discount me& decide I’m too old to be of service. Stop ageism. I don’t want to be homeless.

Hold me back!

I confess that I really, and I mean REALLY, want to slap someone silly. There’s this woman (using that term loosely because she acts more like a 12 year old) who hangs out in a spot right beside the building I live in. I work from home, and I’m frequently on calls. This “woman” likes to take her breaks from her own workplace by hanging out about 5 feet from my bedroom / office window. Not only does she smoke, which is bad enough, but she carries on these loud conversations, and for most of the conversation she’s giggling loudly and inanely like a complete idiot. Non-stop. Every single day, several times a day. It’s become so irritating that I have begun imagining scenarios where I march outside and slap her senseless just like Will did to Chris. I realize that she’s probably talking to a guy, but are men really that stupid that they find this crap attractive? The guy says “hello” and she’s giggling coyly? Really? I’m a woman and seeing other women acting like children bugs the hell out of me. Give me strength!!!

Other hearts need you

Don't forget about the other lives who might need your help when you're hurting. I got blindsided dumped and I stopped caring for myself — and I'm still hurting. But tonight I cleaned my hummingbird feeder because you know what? Even though I'm hurting, those tiny hearts need me. Even if I can't see them all the time. And I bet you can find it in yourself to think of other little hearts who might need you, too, even if they don't show up often.

A Song of Spring

It was raining while I was waiting for the bus this morning. I wasn't standing under shelter and I forgot my umbrella at home, but it didn't matter. The air was so sweet ad fresh and I had such cute company - a sparrow sitting on the barbwire fence behind me. It was shaking its little head in the rain, singing, and gazing about. It was just mesmerizing to watch.

Jumping (or not) thru hoops

Looking for a new job and not willing to do the “projects” anymore. I spent an entire weekend doing an “assignment” for an organization. Making it perfect down to the pixel. I didn’t get the job after spending 30 hours on the assignment. At another company, they’re asking me to make a video, before I have even ever spoke to anyone in the company for the job. Knowing the perfectionist than I am, I would probably spend another entire weekend on it. But im not doing it. Being a talking head is not what I do or in the job description. Im not jumping through these ridiculous hoops anymore for “the chance” to work for these companies. Interview me, face to face or virtually, ask to see my actual work. Now that I know how these companies hire, I will never spend money patronizing their businesses.

My tattoo confession

I don't have any tattoos. Not to judge those who do, but a little voice in my ear suggested I prioritize on tattooing my heart with truth, beauty and goodness; rather than superficially tattooing my outer garment.

trapped in the worlds greatest city

Love Vancouver. Been here 20 years. Lucky to have been here this long. Lost a bunch of "friends" for not being a covid denier Not making enough for a future, not enough saved up to move for one, too old to change jobs. No regrets.

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