I wonder if it makes me truly mad.

I have Netflix, but I actually prefer to watch old public domain films with a drink or two.

I work in healthcare on the DTE and the pandemic was stressful. We all wore our masks and we had a few outbreaks here and there. Six of my coworkers have it and they are really sick, not just an Omicron cold. One is in the hospital. The clients are sick and my manager is off because his whole family has it. And many of the staff refuse to wear masks because they say it’s over, but everyone is getting sick. It’s worse than during the pandemic. So strange.

I confess that I feel completely overwhelmed by crises happening in my life. Every time I think I’m actually happy and things are going pretty well, something new happens and I’m knocked down again by the stress and sadness. I love my people so much. It’s heartbreaking when I’m helpless to be able to stop the awful things happening to them. I’m struggling so much in my own life and barely managing to stay afloat, and I’m losing sleep and feeling sick because of all the worry about them. I don’t know what I can do other than just be there to listen, but I feel so depleted so much of the time that I’m just too exhausted to do the things I need to do for myself. Sometimes the world is just too damned much. It’s times like these when I wish I had a partner to lean on, just to be able to share the weight of it all.

I quit drinking but most of my clothes have beer logos on them

So much time wasted, just trying to survive each day, doing basics. Now I'm in my 40's and I'm haunted that it's too late for hopes and dreams.

Which was both painful and shameful. Everyone wants to be on target in life, but lately it seems it's getting tougher. I want to try again tomorrow though. I must be a glutton for punishment.

Pre pandemic and probably the last 15 years I've been pretty fit. I hit 40 just before the pandemic and was pretty happy with who I was. 2 years later I have a punch. Maybe it's a 40's ponch, maybe it is a pandemic ponch. All I know is that it is not going anywhere. I've tried the gym, less, more, extreme, etc. I've tried dieting. Eating more. Eating nothing. No affect. Most of my is fit except this belly ponch. When I watching TV it's jiggly, but when I stand up it's... well it's still there. like a fanny pack. Guess I got to accept it.