Or am I becoming yet more handsome as I get older?
Is that possible?
I've been reflecting on relationships these days. I'm not in one and I'm coming to terms with the realization that I won't ever be in one. As I age out of the era of one-night stands (which sucks because sex is awesome), I am okay to be single. While I like the idea of love, I am not sure whether I'm built for the compromises that demand it. And I like my own bed to myself as I'm a light sleeper. Occasionally, I'm a bit sad that it wasn't in the cards for me. There was a time where I really thought it might be possible, but I couldn't find anyone fearless enough to fight for being together. Nobody thought I was worth the effort, I suppose. That is what is sad.
I started boofing jenkem a while ago, but my shrek rig broke. I have no idea what to do. I am completely addicted to jenk, but now I have no way of boofing it. I really don't want to have to go back to huffing it like a beginner, but I guess a mild high is better than no high. :(
Not suicidal…. But just so sad and angry and miserable and medicated.
To dye or not to dye that is the big question ?
So I've been dying my hair forever and I'm sick of doing it cause it stinks and it's messy and the colour never comes out the colour shown on the box.
But my roots are really coming in some dark ass colour mixed with a bit of grey I've noticed recently ( great ). So my question is to leave it see what colour my hair would actually be and deal with dark hair growing in like a racoon for months on end or dye it again ?
Hummm pondering :)
I feel anxious. Watching a dear coworker put on a brave cheery face. But I can start to see the bruises blooming from overwork. The imbalanced relationship is wearing on them. They reassure they’re fine and it won’t last. I used to be in a similar relationship with work. it lasted years. I remember how I thought, the choices I made and how much it cost me in the end. Only a doormat welcomes being walked all over.
That was something. It felt like a lifetime of experience. Every moment effortless and truly special. Never had I felt like this. We could have spent eternity together. There still wouldn't be enough time. I couldn't begin to explain how extraordinarily sorry I am or how much you meant to me. I guess that's the thing about.. I don't know where the hell I am now. You will never read this, but whatever you think or feel, please know If there is such a thing, you were it for me. I lived every moment with you. I regret that there is any doubt about our experience. I regret this in every cell.
I find myself compelled to do the same things again and again hoping for different results. Yes, I know what they say. Insanity. Like being stuck in a roundabout with nowhere to turn off and going back the way I came. I want to be different, to an extent. Is that the problem? I’m not willing to change enough? To build a new road out. Where would it even go? Or do I go off road? What does that even mean?
Apparently 38 years old isn't as agile as 9. My ankles were mostly fine while I was playing soccer with my nephew... until the next day when I badly sprained one just walking down a path.