Search confessions

Telling only part of the story

When someone tells you what happened in their relationship, remember that they’re only telling you half of the story. Rarely will they mention anything they might have done to contribute to whatever went wrong. If they do, wonderful! But I think that most people don’t.

Facing hard things

“I don’t know how you do it and stay so strong.” I’ve had that said to me by a few people. But just because someone is soldiering on through something really painful and difficult doesn’t mean they’re not crying in private. I learned very very early in life that no one was going to comfort me or save me, so I had no choice but to get tough. Some things have been absolutely brutal to go through alone, but I’ve dealt with those times by compartmentalizing. I just get kind of distant and numb so I don’t fall apart and then I can do what needs to be done. But I’ve paid the price just like everyone else who’s had to cope with hard times. You just won’t see it because I isolate until I feel strong enough to face the world again.

Shut up about Trump

I wonder if I’m the only one who’s sick to death of hearing about Donald Trump. So what if he looks like he’s going to kill someone in that mugshot of his. I don’t care. If only Canadians would just stop preoccupying themselves with the US and pay more attention to what’s going on inside the ghettos of Vancouver, Surrey or Abbotsford.

Onlyfans fan but not crazy about it

I like how everyone flocks to Onlyfans but it's strange too. You can see how different men and women live their lives. Men cannot easily make money this way. Women can. It also depends on the beauty of the woman. I'm not crazy about how different things are for different sexes in society, but I admit they have strong biological underpinnings. It's just too bad. It's easy to see why these trends can result in unequal work. Some people, whether an only fans girl or an engineering lad, have it pretty easy. They are gifted with the interest and abilities to succeed in these areas.

I feel like crap today

Maybe I'm dying ! Change in weather maybe. Broken heart ? I don't know ! Just tired I guess :( Do you think things ever really work out ? Rock and a hard place again. It's like it never ends. Maybe you just get to the point where you just stop trying. Like nothing you do ever works out or makes a difference anymore. Great ! But there's always tomorrow. Tomorrow

Walk in Fire

The old Doves song hits differently when I think about my own addiction. Work. It’s an embarrassing affliction that is often met with admiration without acknowledging its insidious impact on the individual if not addressed properly. I was reared to keep my head down, work hard. If things got rough, I worked harder. It didn’t matter if my body rebelled. I willed myself to survive at the detriment of connection with my own body and dangerous consequences. I wondered why I never felt attraction or able to date unless I was on vacation or between jobs. It’s hard to put down this inherited survival strategy passed down like a precious family heirloom. It’s hard to know who I am without a job. A recovering addict I suppose. Learning how to have a healthy relationship with work feels overwhelming but necessary.

No time for summer fun

when you have Major Depressive Disorder and Body Dysmorphic Disorder. All you can do is hope no one comments on the baggy hoodies you wear in the searing heat and count down until cooler, calmer autumn days.

My mother is an alcoholic.

If I don't go to the store to buy her wine, I'm a bad daughter. Yes I know things are tough, money is tight and life isn't unfolding as she had hoped, but booze isn't the answer.

You know…

I have my weak moments, and my words are referring to something different than you imagine..but you answers keep me laughing… Thank You

Vancouver changed.

Years ago, after living in Van during the 90's, I moved back in the mid 00's. I lived above a strip club in mount pleasant. Most weekends there were shootings or beatings or violence of some kind in the area where yellow tape was around my building in the morning. I could hear the mice in the walls. Kingsgate was barren beside buy-low, an insurance place and a weird photo passport place by the washrooms. this was before the library or trendiness of current Kingsgate. My rent was like $500. It was a sh*tty abandoned neighbourhood where the community centre gym was in a stuffy basement without windows. There was a dollar pizza place still standing and outside the foundation and the first Slickity Jims there weren't many trendy restaurants yet. I left Vancouver and now pay $800 for a place with a balcony over looking Nanaimo. It has the same feel that mount pleasant did years ago. Yellow crime scene tape, dirty broken sidewalks and abandoned buildings. For the better part of my adult life I loved Vancouver. the 90's and 00s were amazing. But it changed. Leaving Van I realized that other places are cheap and eclectic and what Vancouver used to be.


Overground from Hackney to Clapham Junction

I doubt you will ever gonna read this but… if you are thee guy who stared at me the whole journey...

More on