Meaningless really. Like a character in someone else's play
Yeah, I know and please don’t get me started about where we are and where we’ve been, so on and so forth. But at this very moment in time, I’m optimistic. Just saying.
So when did it become de rigueur to not stop at crosswalks? Now people just slow down a bit, and then swerve around you before you've even had a chance to finish crossing the crosswalk. Sometimes people don't even slow down. It's bloody dangerous and has to stop! I'm going to start filming cars and taking down license plates if this doesn't stop.
The woman I've been having an affair with just said yes to her boyfriends proposal. I know I have no right to be upset by it but I am.
It is the toughest part of the pandemic for myself, but one that I have been working on. Going out and being social is easy, coming home and re-envisioning peoples views of my interactions of them is exhausting and anxiety inducing. The amount of emails I DO NOT send now is progress. I don't text rambles, I comment less on things. But even two years later, on a good day with friends and new people I will come home curl up in and ball and think to myself that my view of everything going well was wrong and that every one probably hated me. I don't like mask socialization, but life is moving on. Masks and curling up in a ball are part of the day to day. Life moves on. :)
sometimes, like right now, i get overwhelmed because my parents love me, and i never saw my mom, and now she always texts me, just to let me know that's she thinking of me and that she loves me. i had all this resentment, but i really wanted my mom to love me deep down. as a child, i just wanted her to come and see me because nothing was stopping her. i cried a lot after christmas because my dad apologized for hurting me and wished he stood up for me more, he realized that i was completely neglected. it felt really good to be loved by my parents, for them to acknowledge the past. i feel like a child now. i'm twenty six and i'm sobbing because i'm so relieved to be loved by my parents. i never felt this love when i was a kid. they were both drunk and yelled at us all of the time. my sister is estranged from our family and she's got her own issues, but i guess in a way i held it together well enough. i have a hard time seeing her and accepting the way that she cut everyone off, but i understand. i'll always be her sister who lived that same life she did. i screwed up on a lot of things but i haven't fallen apart quite yet. in some ways, i'm really lucky. i'm grateful for my family and this life.
You ever see someone who looks like someone you used to know ?
Happened to me but it couldn't possibly be.
They do say everyone has a look a like twin roaming around somewhere in the world.
It makes you look twice. But again not possible its the same person yet an oddity just the same.
Alternet Reality !
I came here to complain, then jann arden - good mother and I sat there grateful.
thanks for everyone who keeps me grounded so I don't feel the desire to escape this world during this time.
Cook because you gotta eat.
Send a card with photos to people around the world.
Dream of spring and flowers and summer and days on the sand.
Bar on the back burner, invite list loose in my mind.
Run. Not because I want to but it kills an hour.
Money used to buy fun and experiences, now it just accumulates without any personality.
Call my parents, they are fine.
Remembering dancing in clubs til my hair was soaked with sweat, completely present, not thinking of anything.
When I was young I focused on work wanting to save money thinking I could find someone once I'd done that.
When I was ready, most already had "someone" and others "weren't interested".
With time, age, looks & "Covid Rules" working against me, doubt I'll ever find someone.
Now all i see each day is "happy couples" everywhere I go (transit, stores, malls, along the streets) while I go home to an empty house.
Wish I'd spent more time looking for someone when I was younger instead of wasting it on working.