Search confessions

Hmmm. I am very unpopular.

I ended up hiring the assistant with the coffee cup test. He is incredible so far. I am surprised that people took an issue with this, but shouldn't you spend your money how you want and not judge?

Dating With Kids

So this guy told me that he wouldn't date me because I have two children. I told him he doesn't have to look after my kids because their Fathers are in their lives. Its been a week and he hasn't texted me back. Dating with children is hard.

A.I. Accountability

When I read concert reviews on this site, and recent, clearly authentic arts reviews across the internet I am returned to a time when I loved reading what people had to say. Conversely, and very recently(turn of the calendar year) I am noticing many editorials, politics specific, and inflammatory articles no longer feature a "persons name" attached to them. Whether it's big like elections or geographical wars, or little like something local in politics, comments are being shut off and these "viewpoints" may not actually be real. A concert listing on a large arts site recently spelled the names of the members wrong 5-10 times in one article and I can only imagine that AI was used to write it. The only person that would be offended by the article is the person who read it. I don't even know if comments on articles are real anymore. Maybe AI is for smart people but I am too dumb and stupid to read AI articles. They hurt my brain.

Y2K Nostalgia

For any young whippersnappers who want to know what is was like surfing the web in the late 90's, early 2000's, it's a lot like it is right now. My browser, the one that rhymes with Atari, means most updated websites are not useable with it. Many of the blogs or political newsies appear to have financially gone under and are now similar in trying to click on a function only to have an add pop up. Dick pill spam has simply been replaced with online gambling adds. With a VPN on, some basic websites can't function and that is similar to people whose phone line was their internet connection. Just remember kids, much like myspace then.... when a popular website goes bankrupt, so does all it's up to date security features. We learned this 20 years ago, but I guess there's a generation about to learn this again.

I think that my older brother

may have molested me when we were kids. I am female, and he was a very big kid (he’s six foot eight as an adult and 10 pounds when born so he was always super large and athletic) and two years older. He was always into being very dominant over me in every way and hated it when I got positive attention for anything at all. He would actually spread rumours about me too and try to make others dislike me. I’ve been remembering lately that he’d ask me to play this game he called ‘Lesbian Nuns’ when I was about 8 and he was 10. He’d wrap us both in blankets and start groping me and say that it was ok because we’re both nuns. It always made me uncomfortable and I’d push him away and get pretty weirded out. Is that abuse? I don’t remember if it ever escalated beyond some unwanted groping. I don’t think it did. But still, it’s a creepy memory and he’d try this with me every so often for a couple years even though I was obviously creeped out.

How broke is everyone?

Pretty broke, it seems. I've planned "lunch meet-ups" with friends, only to have them downgrade to "Let's meet at Starbucks", only to get further downgraded to a last minute request to meet at Timmy Ho's or Mickey D's for fast food coffee. I got my haircut today and asked my haircutter how busy was her December. She said it was the quietest December she ever had; there was no rush of people getting their hair done / coloured / styled like in years past. Myself, I skipped a dinner out with friends because I just could not part with $100 for one meal. Another friend also bailed on that dinner. Picking and choosing survival at this moment. So if I don't show up at your gathering, it's nothing personal. Paying Bill a visit and waiting it out for better times and cash flow...

Longest month of my life

My company made me move to my current workplace a month ago. I am extremely unhappy and the only thing giving me hope is waiting for an announcement of when I’ll be able to return to the original worksite where I belong. My new coworkers are under the impression that we were moved there to do their work and make their lives easier but we have our own stuff to do. I hate going there and it sickens me. Some of the bosses are super shady and are only doing this for profits, not proper care. If there’s no announcement of us returning, I am SO gone! Thinking of changing careers. Different life purpose needed. This is draining me. Longest, worst month ever. Hope to be outta there in less than a couple months. I am too young to live like this, hating my current situation. Work is supposed to be something you look forward to. It used to be. Please let it be again. What a nightmare.

Lesson learned

I always heard that you learn who your real friends are when you suffer a loss. Who actually shows up? Who checks in to see how you’re doing? Who calls to invite you for a visit? So yeah, now I know.

I just can’t

I confess that I get irrationally angry when watching the standard level of shows on Netflix and Amazon. I can’t stand how many huge gaps are in the storyline or how many stupid inconsistencies there are. I’ll start watching and within a half hour I’m annoyed. Is there NO decent writing anymore? I don’t pay for cable and I’m ready to ditch these overpriced streaming platforms that constantly disappoint. Is there anywhere to see intelligent programming that isn’t just documentaries or instructional?

Eldest of five and feeling troubled

The holidays are over and I'm troubled by the fact that I'm not close and essentially do not trust my four younger siblings. I wonder if I'm the problem, if I'm the common denominator. And yet I feel like I've tried so hard with these people. I just want to lay this burden down. These four siblings aren't very close to one another either. We can laugh and be lighthearted over the holidays. I'm supposed to feel close to them, I'm supposed to trust them, we're supposed to be tight knit, and it just never came together.


Bar at the Westin Bayshore

You were by yourself at H tasting lounge bar inside the Westin Bayshore hotel. You had the...

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