From personal experience I discovered that there are some people out there that just want someone to fall romantically in love with them so they can go on some evil sadistic power trip of murdering said love inside another person. Just completely crushing their spirit, messing with mind and soul. Some people just want to destroy in others what they don't have in themselves. I realize most people never run into anyone so sinister, but nonetheless there are some truly evil people out there, and some of us have encountered them.
If it seems someone wants it a bit too much from me now, that's going to be a big red flag for someone of my experience. I don't need anymore serious inconveniences like that which drove me to a mental breakdown and a blotched suicide attempt. I will never repeat that again.
I wish I had someone or something or somewhere in my life that felt like home. I'm one of those people who would be dead for weeks before anyone noticed. We are everywhere.
Last night I has a super sexy dream of a woman I had never thought of that way before. Kinda weird how you can know someone for years and then suddenly think about them differently. I'm happy I live somewhere else and won't run into them. Maybe I need more air circulation in my bedroom!
I've heard from some women that they "miss the days when men would actually ask them out", but the problem with those days was that men didn't have online options so they were forced to initiate and pursue without consent: randomly gamble on the slim chance a woman is single, interested, approachable, in the right mood or circumstance to chat with a stranger (in other words: the odds of approaching a woman at the appropriate time are rare).
This "old way" of dating would mean women would receive more unwanted attention, unwanted approaches, unwanted flirting and the men who asked them out either made fools of themselves or risked self-esteem wrecking rejection; on the slim chance gamble some woman at a bar, beach or college campus would be interested in them.
Online dating however has created a "safe space" where I as a man know that women who match with me or message me are open and consenting to be approached and engaged. It may seem counterintuitive versus the old days, but I think the odds of meeting attractive women have actually INCREASED as a result of dating apps. An increase in available and consenting dating partners and an increase in sexual partners over the years has resulted from this (for me personally).
Yes the problem with online apps is that women are harassed without accountability (dick pics, mean messages, abusive and angry messages etc.) on occasion so I realize that as well. Nonetheless I think my overall point is valid: I feel much more comfortable "approaching" women on dating apps and much more comfortable asking them out given the implied consent of these apps.
Obviously this is just one element of a complex modern dating landscape full of pros and cons but I think it is important to recognize this shift in the culture of dating.
When I see guys hitting on women in public, on the bus etc. I often cringe, especially when the women are very attractive, knowing how often that must occur... leave them alone guys! If they wanted to speak to a random man I'd probably let them initiate. Men who have learned nothing from #metoo and #timesup are more likely to ignore recent social lessons and approach women without consent or intuitive common sense to pick their spots and circumstances. Beware of these men.
Being super Canadian and all. Still something inside can hardly wait to return to my natural state of ironic detachment
I used to be hot and confident.
Now I'm fat and sad.
There’s this woman...who I had a crush on in our 20’s....I tried to date her for many years but she had a boyfriend in the beginning and then she played hard to get. Then I went through a tough and dark time in my life for about 4 years and I avoided her because I didn’t want to bring her into my shit. Someone she knows found me recently and I can’t get this woman outta my head now. This woman I had a crush on I still talked to 3-5x/yr before I was made. Still avoiding at all costs. She showed she wants to ignite the fire again. Or at least that is how I read our brief conversations. Now, life is getting better...slowly... and I’m feeling warmer to the idea of seeing her again for the first time in about 48 months. I fear one thing....a ring on her finger.
But I watch these videos & yes I've been on a train only once in my 60 years (the Royal Hudson in the early 1980's in guessing) on trainhopping (yes I understand it's dangerous & illegal) & wish I had the guts to do it, to be free & do what I want but at 60 it won't happen, at least I can dream & watch the videos
An old school friend posted a class photo from 1968 and I immediately spotted a picture of a girl I went out with when I was 15. She was 14. If you can call walking around holding hands and finding hidey-holes to hug and kiss "going out." Tiny village, nothing else to do.
But she lived in the next village over from where I lived on northern Vancouver Island and I already had a Saturday job doing minor editing and layout at the local newspaper so it was difficult to find time to hitchhike over and see her.
Anyway, one Monday morning I was informed by another teenager that "So-and-so is beating your time." Apparently she was hangin gout and doing goodness-knows-what with this other guy. My heart sunk and I was shocked and saddened by this turn of events. First girl to break my heart. I liked her.
So when I suddenly saw her photo 50 years later my heart jumped in my chest. I had never seen a photo of her before and I recognized her immediately.
The whole love of commercial drive is wandering on sunny days, wandering into the road way when the sidewalks are so crowded and checking to see if a bike is coming, a slow moving car. looking in a window of a shop that has some impulse purchase that I didn't need but now own. finding the restaurant I was dead set on completely full and it being okay because we can just keep walking and find another new wonderful sunny day hackey sacking brittania library napping type experience....
I don't know the future. Nobody does. I do know that my every loving moment and memory of Vancouver is sunny days, full streets and close proximity turning into busy nights, energetic thumping of music coming from night-clubs, late night kisses on the sea wall before watching the sunrise and doing it all again the next day.