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Choosing between two friends I love

I told a friend I plan to host a big 40th birthday party and that I am trying to rally together many old friends. He said he doesn't want one of my other best friends to be there. He has had a grudge against the other friend since HIGH SCHOOL, over something that he still takes quite seriously to this day and I respect that. What happened you ask? One of my friends effectively tried to steal a sweetheart girlfriend from my other friend (the guy holding the grudge). I don't think at the time it was meant to be malicious or hurtful, but it was greasy and unethical (as teenagers do...). Unfortunately she died due to a lactose reaction, she was maybe 19-20 when this happened shortly after high school. It was tragic, she was an amazing person. So I guess he still holds intense feelings about this other guy, which makes sense given that she passed away not long after this. I can understand how in this context he doesn't want to be around the other guy. Question is, how do I choose who to invite? Do I invite both and hope one can make it? I feel that the right/ethical choice here is to invite the guy who holds the grudge. He is well liked and a very awesome person. He deserves to be there. Perhaps my other friend who I love dearly unfortunately gets cut from an invite because he so emotionally damaged and angered my other friend... 20 years ago. But if he finds out I didnt invite him to big awesome party he may be deeply hurt. I have very diverse friends spread out all over the world. I am blessed but also feel very fragmented as we can't form a community or see each other regularly due to our decentralized locations. I hate this dynamic sometimes of having to compartmentalize certain friends. Shield them from seeing or hearing about each other.

Pounding the Pavement

I’m trying to find a way to stay in Van. A 1br apartment is over 400k with expensive strata fees and a house is around and over 2 mil. I saw a few homes around 350k and felt excited until I read it’s only for people 55+. I felt frustrated because someone over 55 is selling their home for between 400k to 2mil and buying a much cheaper home for 350k with a potentially hefty profit. I’d like to be able to afford a home that can’t be taken out from under me. How is it possible?

Chills

Listening to someone I’ve known for a long time talking about relationships gave me a cold chill. Like I’d never really understood how someone could be so completely detached from other people, almost like they have no soul. He’s either a very good actor or he really is lacking in any ability to attach to other people. The way he talked about this supposed friend of his that he’s known for over 40 years just gave me the creeps. They did something that annoyed him so he just stopped speaking to them completely without even trying to discuss it. I said it sounded like a pretty minor thing and maybe he should just talk to them about it, but he just said that he felt disrespected so that was it. But he’s always saying everyone disrespects him and I think he just expects people to treat him like he’s special no matter what, and he can’t even recognize that he treats others like they owe him something all the time which is really disrespectful. So I just sat and listened to him and inside I was kind of repulsed. It was like seeing something really creepy like the mask slipped.

For the first time

In a long time I legitimately have feelings for someone. I have for about a year, and there's some history between us, but the long and the short of it is, she's just not that into me. I see a lot of people on here complaining about these type of scenarios. I don't mean to judge, we all experience life differently. But for me, I'm not even sad the feelings don't go both ways. Obviously I'd prefer if it was mutual, but I'm just happy I can still feel this way about someone. It's been 6 years since the last time I truly cared about someone like this. I was beginning to think I couldn't anymore.

Laugh, not cry

I don’t care enough to overreact to immature situations. I’d much rather laugh than cause a scene.

Now And Then

So a friend of mine and I are making plans to hangout for lunch or dinner.. We haven’t seen each other in a long time. He’s a great friend, and I love him like a brother. However, I’m not sure what to say. I find it sometimes we tend to get carried away, talking about the past and the old days of high school. Unfortunately, this guy has connections with some people that were not in my top three back in school. I’d rather not hear about those people anymore. I’m tired of talking about the past. It’s getting old. I would love to talk about new things like raising our kids, our careers, politics and the universe. No point in reminiscing over pointless crap that happened in the schoolyard 20, 30 or 45 years ago. None of it matters anymore.

Where do I begin?

So there’s this guy that I had messaged a while back. I said some things to him that I shouldn’t have said so he blocked me. It’s one thing to do stupid things in your life, but when you’re not ashamed to admit, you were in the wrong, at least you’re the bigger person. I’m not ashamed to admit I was completely stupid and locked common decency. I’m not ashamed to admit I was stupid and acted on impulse. He then blocked me and now gossips about me left and right. If you’re reading this, let me give you a valuable word of advice. We all make mistakes. Right? Get over yourself. That was almost five years ago. No need to hold a grudge and be uptight. Just relax. Go smoke a joint, have a beer or go jerk off to your boyfriend.

Settled

I’m so glad I no longer live in Montreal anymore. Aside from the authentic European foods and some dear family members that passed away, I don’t miss anything about the city I grew up in. The roads are broken. The education system is shitty. Don’t even get me started on the French. They are a lot more racist than ever. Sure, BC is more expensive to live in, make no mistake about that. But I’ve been here for over 25 years and I feel like this province is truly my home. I love it here very much and I appreciate what I have.

Gratitude

I love working my maintenance job. It pays very well and got a new increase in my salary. Sometimes it’s meditative, other times hectic but mostly meditative. I just focus on my cleaning tasks and make sure to communicate with my boss if there’s anything that’s broken.. One of the best things about being a custodian in my opinion, is the fact that you work alone. You don’t have to deal with the office politics that happen behind the front desk. I pay no attention to petty gossip and I never involve myself in any melodrama whatsoever. Can’t bothered with that. Ain’t got no time for that sort of nonsense. I love my job and I enjoy where I am.

True Story

I knew two guys that used to be best friends since childhood but fell apart years later. One grew up in a strict God fearing religious household. The other hid in the closet for many years until after grad. The religious guy didn't take it very well when he learned of this news. He even deliberately excluded his closest friend from his own wedding. Once he realized cutting his friend off from the guest list was wrong, he learned to accept that person whom he is. Eventually, they made up but still, the damage has been done since those two no longer talk to each other anymore. It's not good to judge your close friends based on their personal beliefs. You can have a difference of opinion but it's best to be respectful of one another. Real friends can't be bought.

I SAW YOU

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