Hold me in your arms, baby? That's what I felt like singing on the bus today. Some dude's butt was chafing my shoulder - he was standing and I was seated. It was so damned packed, as usual, so I couldn't blame him. It was a bit awkward so I thought I'd lighten the mood, but I thought better of it and did not sing. Sorry, Paul Anka, for even thinking it.
Yup. They're at it again. Retailers going full force into Christmas decorations, email alerts to Christmas shopping, carols blasting at the stores. STOP IT ALREADY!! Disrespectful to our war vets and those serving now, can't you wait until after Remembrance Day? Can't you freakin' wait until October is over??!! Retailers, particularly large national chains may blame covid lock down for lagging sales. They may blame theft for lack of profits but the majority of people are on thrift store budgets and can't afford food let alone even think of shopping for Christmas so early in the season. The pressure this puts on those that are poverty stricken and even homeless is profound and only contributes to depression and hopelessness. I can't believe they can't even wait until Halloween is done.
Halloween has me thinking about masks. The ones I wear year round to fit into occasions and cover up vulnerabilities. A game face much like a hockey mask - hopefully less disconcerting than chainsaw aficionado Jason. Do I think baring my face is so unnerving it warrants an uncanny prosthetic personality? Uncomfortable for who though, myself or others? Maybe both. I shudder to think of being myself and honestly answering that awful question, ‘how are you?’. The truth feels overwhelming. What if on Halloween people went door to door and said something true about themselves? And instead of candy, acknowledgement and acceptance were doled out. Formidable. The trick to treat one another with kindness. Is that what Halloween is about? The opportunity to bare our greatest fears or desires through costume. To be seen and then rewarded for our efforts.
As time passes after a break up it’s the little things that get you. Seeing something funny that you wish you could share with them because you know they’d get it. Feeling weird watching the rest of that series by yourself and it’s just not the same without them beside you. Cooking that dish that was their favourite but somehow it just doesn’t taste as good because they’re not there to share it with you. Going for a walk in the places you always went together and you’ve never felt so lonely. So many little things that just hit so hard and sometimes right out of the blue when you think you’re over them. I hate this part.
There are a lot of things about how Translink operates that I wish would change. Right now, I'd rather that Translink embark on an education campaign for riders on proper bus/train etiquette than doing some prize contest.
It's a long time male-female friendship. Do I tell him how I feel and possibly implode the best friendship I've ever had in my life? I honestly don't know what to do here. It feels exhausting.
We go way back almost a decade. And now that she’s leaving, I feel like I have fallen into the trap of attachment. She was not my girlfriend, never was and never will be. I don’t mean to be too attached. But the connection we had felt like something truly special. It was this deep sacred feeling that cannot be replicated or reproduced. It can’t be explained. Although I respect her decision to leave the beautiful Pacific Northwest, I know I’ll miss her forever. I never got to ask why she’s taking off, but I know it had certainly nothing to do with me. It’s this lousy housing crunch. The atrocities of housing here is driving everybody out. It sure won’t be the same without her. I wonder if I’m blowing this out of proportion? Wish I could stop crying, but I cant.
I confess I am perplexed over the ever growing lack of bipartisanship in our governments. It seems to have become fashionable to declare the other parties 'the enemy' and refuse to work together on behalf of your constituents who duly elected you. As a democratically elected official it is your constitutional duty to work across the aisle wherever that aisle may be whether in property stratas, municipal, provincial and federal governments. Get it together and do your job as it was intended to be done and quit wasting tax payer's time and money!
I haven’t been able to sleep undisturbed for an entire night in so long I can’t remember. Every single night I’m woken up multiple times by the noisy people in my building or by some random person outside of it. It’s really hard for me to go back to sleep when I’m woken up at certain stages of the sleep cycle, so I’m left laying awake for hours sometimes. People are so inconsiderate! Dragging furniture around at 2 am, slamming doors, sitting outside the building in a car with the music pounding, you name it. I’m so tired.
I still have no idea how to react if I saw her again. In no other aspect of my life so I feel this kind of confliction. Angry, excited, dismissive, honest, curt... I have no clue what reaction is right. I might simply turn and flee.
