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Take it!

I routinely use services like grocery delivery and grocery pickup with the usual big players. The people who bring my groceries to my condo front door, or car trunk are helpful and polite and helping me with a chore that I hate. To thank them, I offer them cash tips. I don’t make it awkward; all I say is “Thank you!” and offer the tip. And they refuse! Please, just take it. No one is looking. You deserve it. It’s free money. I know you explain that you’re not allowed to. But you drove to my place in your own car and you’re sweating from lugging the stuff. Just take it. Everyone needs more money to live on.

Look

I am hideous and old and absolutely no one would want me. Ok I get it ! Move on with your life ! I'm ok with that ! I love me for me !

Before my time is up

I would like to win a lotto jackpot just once. It doesn't have to be in the tens of millions. Just enough to buy a decent home here.

You get what you pay for

I’ve had my fill with free counselling services through my work. They weren’t the best. They would just sit there, look at me and try to calm me down. Then they ask what are some strategies that I can do. It’s just didn’t do it for me. One counsellor in particular tried to push his personal agenda on me by asking me what my sexual orientation is. Counsellors need to give their clients a choice if they want to talk about the issues of sexuality or not. Believe me, I felt even more depressed after walking out of the office. I’m sure that’s a different experience for everybody but free counselling is not for me. So I just pay to see a psychologist that I’ve known for many years. He knows my history and has really helped me truly understand my feelings. I think I will stick with people whom I can trust and the psychologist is definitely one of them.

I'm exhausted

of the city. Of its shrouding busy lights where you cannot make out a thing with your weary eyes. People on relentless insatiable chases that leaves close ones in the dust. The pandemic, too, but it only exaggerated what was already there. I'd like to go somewhere small. A quiet place with birds by a body of water. Bonfires under the bone moon. Those who aren't coming to leave. People often say that you'll miss the city, but after some months in a quaint town last year, I'm not sure if I will.

When taking the skytrain...

I try to avoid the trains coming from or going to surrey. I don't even mind waiting until the next one.

cold food

I've stopped ordering from any place that uses a bike delivery system...too damn tired of getting cold food all the time.

Hollow day

A few of us at my work dressed up for Halloween because we still wanted to get into the spirit. But not very many. The majority of people at work didn’t bother dressing up this year. Maybe it’s Covid. I can’t even think of a better answer than that but Covid has taken the spirit out of this once fun holiday.

Cold turkey

Today I walked over to the nearest garbage can and threw away packs of unopened cigarettes. I have finally decided to quit smoking for good. It feels strange to give it up indefinitely after six months. I’ve been through my share of heartache and depression this past year but I’m trying to find more better ways to cope.

Robots Need Love Too

I can't call in sick. I can't just call in and take a mental health day if I'm feeling run down and need to rest and recover. I feel too spread thin. There is no one to cover for me. Promises of support are made and rescinded. My body is protesting. I find I have little energy outside of my job to muster aside from basic necessities. I rally each morning and talk myself out of bed, "It will be over soon and you can go back to bed." I don't feel like a human being. I am isolated and beyond busy. At work, more tasks pile up because apparently, I have the time. This is how much time I have: I have so much time I don't have time to grab a coffee, go to the bathroom, or talk. I scarf my lunch at my desk if I can but now have given up bringing food at all. I am tired... I am very tired.

I SAW YOU

Gods will

I drove you to work down commercial drive. We spoke briefly about you becoming a corrections...

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