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Is this Bullying?

Years ago, I had a supervisor at work who made my life hell. He eventually quit, but I dealt with him for years and continue to grapple with the trauma. I randomly experience feelings of rage bubble up because of all the times I had to bite my lip and suppress my anger when he provoked me. He'd been demoted from a previous position and was constantly terrified of getting fired. To save his job, he wanted me to perform as if I were superhuman or a machine. He followed me around all day and constantly breathed down my neck to work faster and complete more tasks. Unfortunately, quitting was not an option. The company has a carefully worded anti-bullying policy. Basically, managers can't use slurs, violence or any *obvious* forms of bullying. "Ensuring accountability" or “motivating” employees they'd say, is not bullying. The insidious thing about my supervisor was that he figured out how to bully people in a way that didn't appear to violate the policy. He repeatedly used tone and body language by speaking to me like an angry, belligerent drill Sergeant. He'd slam things and take “digs” at me that were insulting but without slurs. He’d gaslight me by telling me to do something while I was already doing it as if that would make me do it faster. On top of the constant nagging, needling and pressure to do more, he'd constantly criticize and complain about every little thing while making me take responsibility for his mistakes. I often started my day listening to a list of complaints and then working without any breaks all day to finish everything so that I wouldn’t get berated. One day, he was speaking to me in such an indescribably rude and demeaning manner that I finally lost it and cussed him out. The senior managers suspended me. I didn't bother to explain the pattern of bullying because I thought their reaction would be, "wait, so he's been driving you as hard as possible on behalf of the company? Haha, that's awesome, keep it up!” I’m still haunted over whether I should've spoken up or not. At the time, I thought that his behavior would be considered laudable, so I quietly accepted my suspension. So tell me, should I have reported him? Is the behavior I’m describing bullying or was I just an unlucky worker with a demanding boss?


I’m glad they didn’t win the cup this year. I used to wish they would win it before my dad died, but winning it the 1st year after would have been adding insult to injury.

Omg he needs to get over it

I have a friend in his 40's who's on FetLife & constantly complains how hard it is to meet women to have as he calls "dirty kinky fetish type sex" ....I have told him it's very likely people who are in that "scene" maybe make up I would say 5 or 6 or 7% percent of the general population here on Vancouver & people in general aren't into that type of sex, only the plain vanilla type sex, but it goes in one ear out the other, I think I should tell him to complain to someone else as it annoying & I've only listened to him about it because I'm a friend of his lol

Urgent Care is for things that need care urgently.

Y'all. I had to go to urgent care because I had a cyst pop unexpectedly and an obviously infected wound seeping pus everywhere, including soaking through my clothes as I waited to see doctor. This is why I opted for urgent care instead of an 8 hour emergency room wait. I waited two hours to get antibiotics. As I sat there and waited, people were turned away at the door because it was full for the day by 10 am. Meanwhile, some lady thinks needing to get a mole checked out is urgent. Some dude with eczema on his hand, that he could have had checked out by a pharmacist, thinks that's urgent. People are experiencing problems with their pregnancies and broken bones next to me, while half the people in there could have called 811 or done a simple google and seen what they have going on is not, in fact, urgent. Think about other people. Ask yourself what 'urgent' means, maybe? It's not rocket science.

Coming undone

You can be a kind person your whole life but then devolve rapidly into that bitter old person who doesn’t want ANYONE to be happy with their life and choices. And then all that good character that we thought was you, leaves the room, and we wonder where you went. Not sure what you need or want but work on your inner self so that you need not ambush people in their happiness and hard work. I never want to be like you in old age.

Getting why we met... and why we failed

I was chatting with a friend about a guy who seriously entertained the idea of having me on the side if not leaving his marriage outright. The risk was too much for him, as he couldn't give me the courageous leap to claim me by leaving what he had or even by declaring his feelings out loud to my face. He hated that I couldn't be the side piece that allowed him to have both worlds. I shook up all he knew and he never forgave me for making him feel what he felt while knowing he couldn't be what I needed. We were both awful to each other trying to find a way of loving each other that we both wanted but couldn't have because we were both firm in our own terms. We were alike in ways that didn't help. He still hates me because, in the quietest moments, he still desires me and I ruined his plans. And yet, he's strong enough to bury himself in life to not think of me, the one who got away (he hates that part because it's true). I found a silver lining in this experience: I was able to empathize and give good advice to my friend about to go through something similar based on my experience with the man from my past. Communicate, be completely open and honest and be okay that doing so brings truth to each other's hearts, even if the result is realization that it cannot be. That is the advice I gave. No hiding, strategic gameplay, no withholding feelings or facts. All the things a healthy relationship deserves even if it leads to its end is what two people wondering about the love of each other deserve. To that mixed up man: I get why we went through it all. Such drama, omg. Oddly, I thank you, and I'm sorry we couldn't be healthy together like that but I hope you're at least content. I know you will always hate me because it's easier and I know you want to forget. I hope, if you can't forget, you realize silver linings that do add to your happiness in yourself and in others.

I wish i never met my husband

I should have known better. I cant sand the behavior of my alcoholic, narcissistic husband. I was ready to leave but he will fight everything because he can, lie and manipulate for ego alone. He is not my childrens father and im sorry I have put this man in their lives. It is my fault. I ignored my gut feeling but why? This is punishment snd i feel like an ass, an idiot to fall for his initial charm. For everyone who has ever felt wronged by me, I am truly sorry and I am suffering. Shame on him but shame on me. Now Im stuck with this.

Well that was weird

I was talking to an acquaintance recently when I realized that he was describing things he was seeing while we were talking, in a very random and weird way. Like he was just talking about something and suddenly in the middle of a sentence he said “bag of cement” and then continued the sentence. A while later his sentence included “red hat “ although that had nothing to do with what he was saying. I realized that he was seeing these things while we were talking, and I don’t think he realized that he was saying it out loud. It was hard to keep my face straight but I didn’t want to laugh at him because I’m sure it was just his subconscious, but it was awkward.

I just can’t

I have this friend who was never religious and believed in freedom of choice for women. Over the past several years she’s changed because her son and daughter in law apparently became evangelicals and when their daughter got pregnant really young she had to get married, and now she’s got 3 kids and she’s not even 21. I can’t pretend to be happy for them, I just can’t. This kid doesn’t even have a fully grown frontal cortex yet so she has no idea of the impact on her this will have. I can’t celebrate babies raising babies. Of course the kids are cute and yes people can choose what they want to believe, but this kid has been completely indoctrinated so in reality this couldn’t have been an informed decision.

I guess I am doing grief wrong

As far as I can tell you're supposed to have dead mommy birthday parties and post photos and make holiday notes about missing said dead mommy each and every year to remind everyone how deeply you are grieving. I don't see the need or perhaps I am just not narcissistic enough to remind everyone all. the. time. on social media.


Sisters of Mercy Outside the Rickshaw

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