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I feel annoyed

I'm mostly annoyed with myself mind you. It's the end of yet another first date. Once again, my date sweetly insists he walk me to my car. That's very kind thank you but it's unnecessary. I am perfectly safe - I also prefer you not know what kind of car I drive, but I appreciate the sentiment. Albeit I'm far happier to walk you to your car to feel like I've done my duty in keeping you safe. Heh, don't worry I recognize the, what is that, irony? Okay so sure he walks me to my car and then I turn to say here's my car and thanks again for tonight...and I don't even want to look, but oh, yep, there it is. That Look. Come on! This is a first date man! I've spent what? An hour or longer getting a general first impression of you. And now you are giving me That Look. The look that says I want to kiss you aka exchange bodily fluids with you. Are you serious? I've spent more one on one time with my dentist but that doesn't mean I'm making out with him. Instead, I give you a hug and thank you again for the evening. I berate myself on my car ride home, did I do the wrong thing? Was I supposed to kiss him? It felt nice hugging him and that seemed an appropriate progression of physical cues. Kissing though? Hell no. I need more time for my body to get accustomed to being around someone in a neutral way before even considering that level of intimacy. I have to wonder though if everyone moves at their own pace and perhaps this too is a litmus test for compatibility.

Fear of helicopters

Been watching the news of Kobe Bryant’s death from that helicopter crash. How sad. How’s That poor man and his daughter did not deserve to die. For some reason, I never trusted helicopters. There’s something about helicopters in general that seem kind of unnerving to me. It makes me think about other famous people who died in helicopter and plane crashes like Buddy Holly, Ritchie Valens, The Big Bopper, Stevie Ray Vaughan, John Denver and Randy Rhoads.

Weird phone calls

Something really weird’s been going on with my phone. Every three months I’ve been getting anonymous phone calls from some unknown numbers in Abbotsford and New Westminster. I don’t know anyone who lives in those places.


Didn't date in my 20s or 30s when i was young bright and to have the capacity to do so now.

Nothing Beats

Being mobbed and nibbled on by a clowder of 5 week old kittens, in my humble opinion. I'd love to receive a basket of kittens everyday if it were possible and just watch my stress melt away while trying to cuddle them all.

Can't find justification but annoyed

So I went to a hot yoga class. I only go there sometimes because I don't like how most of instructors talk during classes. But I went there anyway. This particular instructor called a sitting posture where you sit on your feet/legs with your knees bent "Japanese style". He called it that way so many times. Then I got so annoyed. ( I am Japanese, by the way. ) But I couldn't find any justified reason why I got so annoyed. Somehow I feel he should call the posture like 'sitting on your legs with your knee bent' or something like that. I don't know Am I just self-conscious ?

Something weird going on

I might just be paranoid, but THE DAY I decide to look up new TVs online my old tv stops working. Won't turn off and no picture... never had an issue with this tv. I was planning on moving it to the bedroom if, IF I decided to get a new tv. Well, no choice now. Shouldn't have looked up TV's from my google account I guess.

I am crazy about

kinky girls... don't know how girls feel about us guys.... but oh wow. They're amazing :)

Need to atone

Was thinking about everything I've done wrong (well, maybe not everything, but lots of things) and what first popped into mind was the day fifty years ago when I walloped a little girl with my roller skates. It's true she was a snob and bossy, but nobody deserves that. Even my father couldn't make me apologize to her. Apologizing was worse than the beating I'd get for refusing to apologize. Still, I don't understand all the dynamics behind that incident and how it continues to affects my world view. I know that I sometimes think that men who hurt women are punished without looking at the role the woman might have played in inciting that violence—but even saying that out loud would be very unfashionable these days. I need to atone for creating an anti-social fracture in my life, to my father for defying him, and to her for hurting her.

Sex Jams

I know there are folks that maintain playlists of music that they have playing while having sex with their partners; and, that's perfectly okay with me. If you want to listen to Donna Summer's "Love to Love You Baby" in the background, go for it. I love listening to music of all kinds most of the time, just not while I'm having sex. I don't like the idea of having music in the background because I find it distracting when I'm trying to pay attention to my partner, their body and what they're saying/vocalizing.


Two Parrots bar bathroom

I rolled into the bathroom or Two Parrots and you and your friend wanted to touch my hair. You...

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