Pretty obvious that the labour movement is rising. I just got a new office job. There isn’t much to do. Today I spent a whole hour “inspecting paperwork”.
I want to head off to the middle of nowhere this winter, build an igloo, and camp out of it for a few weeks. I don't feel like doing much else but exist in the wilderness for a time.
The season is upon us, there is more bah humbug in the air than usual. lights going up mid November are out numbered by pumpkins still out and about. My work turns off the Christmas music till we open. It makes a difference. I have never been to a staff party, never wanted to. I am going to a social at the beginning of December. Maybe it is a bizarro work this year, maybe it's that they said every one get vaccinated(and the over 90% of us have) and we'd get to ditch the masks. But I am excited for the season in a way that is not related to Christmas, not related to spending, or family, but generally boisterous for crowds, anger, stress, love, hugs, lights, trees, floods, snow.... bring it on!
I’ve been medicated for a few years, yet recently the medication doesn’t seem to be working.
Anxiety and depression at the very root of my being. I can barely function at work. I need to get a handle on this. Mental illness is an illness and I’m not feeling well at all.
I wasn't such a loser
I hate smoking but I’m addicted to it. I’ve quit multiple times but it hasn’t stuck yet. Is vaping any better? I guess it hasn’t been around long enough to truly know the harm involved. Honestly, vaping makes me feel worse than smoking.
Who thought of this as good breakfast food? There are no other two things I’d rather eat less than bacon and eggs.
Whether it is the pandemic, growing up, or moving on, I've lost that loving feeling for anything from my past. Not maliciously, but I've run into a few people. Their dreams have started to tumble and I've taken step back and wondered whether I would've wanted to be apart of who they've become. Probably not. As a late bloomer I have put my best years in the last 10. A slow burn though. Many who I loved than resented ran with the endorphins of change. They burned bright, but burnt out fast. Maybe because I never had anything for the first 30 years, that I've appreciated everything since. I don't feel as though I lost anything. I changed careers, lived that life. Went back to school. Lived that life. Have new careers and goals. I appreciate everyone in my life. I don't bounce from one relationship to the next anymore. Looking at my loves, I guess when I was bouncing I kept smacking into other people who were bouncing. Being promiscuous in your 40's with kids isn't what I want. I am glad I left that life far behind.
I've seen so many costco hauls on YouTube I feel I'm missing something big time.
I have so many amazing male friends in my life who’d make wonderful partners and I’m only attracted to men who have fear of commitment or have serious emotional trauma.