Hope has been tormenting me for years. My hope is not grounded in any reality. It exists despite all evidence to the contrary, and no matter how much I can understand the impossibility of what I hope for, it remains. In Greek mythology Pandora accidentally releases all the evils into the world, but closes her box in time for hope to remain. So hope can be understood to be an evil, and it's the one evil I can't seem to be rid of.
I'm not so happily married, I will go into the missed connections, dating sites, when I don't feel seen in my marriage. I use it like an ego boost when I feel low. If I'm really dying for supply, I will write cheesy ambiguous song lyric post so my partner won't know it's me, and talk to women for a boost. I strung along and abused one in particular, it's part of my condition...Anyways, just my luck who walks into the same restaurant me and my spouse were waiting, aaarggghhh. I hunkered down into my booth so she couldn't see me. I think I got away with it. My hamburger tasted good and I didn't want anything to spoil that.
Without fail I get a brutal cold every year. Or twice. Transit plus working in homeless shelters where the staff and clients keep passing it back and forth. I’ve never felt better this year. I’m wondering if I should always wear a mask on transit and work from now on?
I love this message board. It's kept me sane and entertained recently. I can't afford any more therapy and I don't like dumping on people I know, and I know what they would say if I did. It's great to be able to get a whole range of opinions from different people, and helps me put my problems in perspective. So give yourselves a big pat on the back!
I tried to mentally prepare for the winter. Being under lockdown, working from home, and being unable to see friends or family much is not easy.
I'm not a super social person to begin with, and typically always busy, but I still felt the effects of the first lockdown. I was stuck with random subletters as my roommate used Covid as an excuse to be "trapped" in Mexico. What BS. Well, it has been half a year of hell, and I'm finally moving!!!!! Hooray! Mental health, welcome back again, I hope!
This was just terrible all around.
I was harassed- emotionally abused, controlled, stalked, and talked about amongst co-workers. I did not feel safe at all in my workplace, so I left. It took me a long time to feel safe again in a work setting. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. It did. Now, I am still healing, but I have never loved life as much as I do now. If you are reading this and you are feeling your all time lows, keep your chin up. There is always light at the end of the tunnel, and that time will come.
I think I've reached acceptance but am nowhere near self-actualization.
I suggested abortion to a close friend and she went through with it. Even though she has a lovely family with children now, and even if my words weren't the ones which made her decide. I still feel responsible, and it has haunted me for decades.
I was being bullied at work, by my manager. After two years of therapy, I no longer put up with people trying to manipulate me or wanting to dump all their problems on me. However, this has caused no end of trouble with my family and friends, who preferred the old me. Oh, and I lost my job. Maybe I should just go back to being a butt-kissing hypocrite. All I want is a quiet life, and that seems to be the way to get it.
Because I'm happily married. But i do self-discipline to look in the mirror and say to myself: "I See You." It's challenging at times but its a very needful ongoing self realization.