If I got handed me a plane ticket, $1000 and a week off - the person I'd want to spend it with would never have the time (for a phone call even).
Turns out I am just as much of a jerk when I'm sober as I was when I was an alcoholic.
I'm the scapegoat of my family. "Why did you do this, why did you eat all of that, stop this, stop that"...tired of being the one that's blamed....in a house of 6 people SURELY I can't be to blame for everything. For fuck sakes.
Lately whenever I go on my tippy toes to reach something in the kitchen it reminds me of a day 10 years ago. Makes me smile. Bittersweet memory.
I came home and found my landlord at the top of the stairs in front of my door with a flashlight...
I am stuck with my family through this. In your 40's it blows. It's cliche and it blows. But the second 6 months are on me. I saw a member struggling, knew the risks and tried to help anyways. Can I complain that the last 6 months have been unbelievably awful? I can. But it doesn't it better. I can cause pain, or curl up in a little turtle shell riding out the next month and a bit. Choice is mine, but family drama is as old as time itself. I have to remember that.
I ditched my girlfriend at beginning of this year. She turned out to be a manipulative psychopath that tried to fuck up my life. Her whole family is fucked in the head and I learned that they are nothing but a bunch of money hungry con artists. I can’t stress enough just how good it feels to weed all the useless garbage out of my life and take better control of my own. They say in life you have to live by the three C’s: cool, calm and collected. As far as my ex is concerned, I live by the three G’s: goodbye, good luck and good riddance.
I got sick of partners complaining about me cooking for them all the time.
I had to help train a new coworker via zoom. It was our first time meeting, just the two of us in the zoom room.
We spent about two hours covering the material, interspersed with some social chatter.
I felt like we got along really well, and if we didn't work together I'd be trying to find out if they're single, or at least ask them out to a workday lunch. Felt like an instant crush!
But I'm realizing now that it was probably just my brain tricking me with some kind of happy hormones.
Turns out that was the longest conversation/interaction I've had with a new person since at least last March.
I like my alone time, but this has been a lot of alone time. A lot.
I haven't tried zoom dating because it seems kind of terrible, but maybe I'd like it?
It’s been a month and a half now. Her and I had split so many times. I guess you never really know people sometimes. Regardless of specifics, the pain has been incredible. There are so many layers. Each day is a fight to just let it go. It’s not how my heart operates, but it’s my final and only way of expressing ...yknow... l o v e. But call it what you want, right? Of course Valentine’s Day threatens a nice old kick in the teeth but that’s the way we operate. If you have someone, hold them tight... and know what you’re saying to them. Take care