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Bad sibling

I have a sibling with substance issues that we had all lost touch with for twenty years. Now, at least, I have a phone number for the friend my sibling lives with because the friend has govt. housing. If not for the friend, it would mean living on the streets. As it is, this govt.housing sounds harrowing and dangerous, surrounded by drug dealers and out of control addicts. Building management seems to have abandoned ship. The last time I called, I got so stressed, I barely slept for days, worrying for them. I am already a basketcase from several major circumstances in my own life. I haven't talked to them in a while and I feel really shitty about it. And then I get mad at myself for beating myself up about this, too. I need a holiday, or maybe a three month coma.

Coping Mechanism

I call it corona now to make it sound less scary.


When we all were working in the office, one of the most senior staff offered to tell us his salary during lunch. He probably earns twice as much as the average office worker. People told him No, please don’t tell us your salary. He kept insisting. I don’t know him very well and it’s seems TMI to know his salary. Not even sure why he would try and push it into us, because what were we to say? Wow? You’re so valued and smart? Only if you want to brag and feel superior would you offer your number to coworkers you KNOW earn less than you.

Alcohol really is the worst drug

Ive been a drunk and an addict at various points in life. Thankfully I have been clean for almost 20 years now. I understand the need to get f-ed up. I really do. I think being so aware of ourselves and being such conscious beings is really hard on the mind and spirit. But I hate that alcohol is so popular and avail. Its one of the worst drugs out there and very few drugs make people as stupid and ignorant than alcohol. Ive been on heroin, and crack, and I NEVER cornered people and made them listen to my dumb theories and favorite music lyrics. I NEVER hopped in a car and drove home from the heroin club. How many families and marriages and lives has it destroyed? Too many.

I don't want the Astra vaccine

I want 95% protection, not 65%. Imagine if it was a condom? Do you think we'd be okay with someone saying "some protection is better than none"? That so-called reassurance comes from people who have the 95%, so what do they care? I'm freaking out. I want my 95%. I want to make sure I'm safe, not "maybe".

Street Libraries are Gems!

Hurray for the little neighbourhood libraries! These streetside gems really saved me during library lockdown and I still haunt them. Yes, they are a mixed bag but I can usually find something interesting, curated by the community. I've read many great books that I never would have thought to choose and doing a circuit of the ones in my area gives a destination to the many walks we are all taking these days. Thank you, neighbours!


I have some really shitty dramatic neighbours. They fight all day from the wee hours of the morning to late night. Has anyone experienced this since covid and what have you done? I try to drown it out but it never ends. Should I be more concerned, call for help? I've tried minding my business but they've picked fights either way.

Shut in/out

I can't think of a reason to go outside. I wish there was something I wanted. Even someone. But I just draw a blank. There are things to do right? People to love and be with. I realize that my life has been centered around commercialism and I'm not sure what else there is. I can take none of this with me in the end. But it helps ease the pain of living when I don't know how to let people in.

Why is it?

I mention something to others that has a negative impact for us but no one seems to want to listen to me. Weeks to months later another party in the group finally realizes what I tried to tell them and that person gets more attention about the subject than I did in the past. I don't understand. If you would have listened to me this would not have gone on any longer. Why do I get ignored?


It was years ago at a party a friend of a friend was telling me about these "bitcoins" and I thought it sounded pretty neat but I never did anything to follow up on it. Boy did I ever miss the boat! Being old and not much of a tech person, I didn't really understand what the deal was until I made the effort to jump through some of the hoops and get on the inside of this thing. I see it now! Amazing stuff, I feel like I dropped acid or something. Better late than never! This is not financial advice & I am not a financial advisor...also I really have got no money anyway but from a mental health perspective I've found that learning about something that's a new thing for me has really turned my whole entire mindset around.


Tracey/ Tracy, West End nature lover/...

Saturday morning in the Timmy's, corner of Denman and Nelson; you were buying chamomille tea...


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