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Telltale Laugh

People, especially children notice my insincere giggle and comment on it often. Throughout my life, I thought it was sort of a technique I used to shake off insecurity. After spending time with my family, I now discovered it's actually a subconacious reaction I developed to all their really bad jokes. It's a laugh that says "this isn't funny but I'm laughing anyway because that's what I'm supposed to do".

Dignity

I lost people in my life, had failed relationships, fell out with friends and a few acquaintances here and there, but I still have my dignity. Wait a minute! On second thought, no. It’s long gone. When I was 10, it ran away from home.

New wave

I been on a hot streak lately and been out with a bunch of women a bunch of times. After a few dates with multiple people, I realize I don't know shit about them. Late 20's, early 30's? Do they have kids or ex's or family? Even the shows we've been too are indicative of anything. It's been fun. Fun like I haven't had in a long time. Pure fun. For a long time everything was generic, boring as f@ck politics and drama. Even the follow up texts and emails aren't clingy. I'm not clingy, they're not clingy. Whatever this new wave of fun is, I'm here for it.

It won’t change

All my life, I’ve been a lonely person. Even when I’m in the company of some people, whether inside a conference, workshop, gathering or party, I’m always lonely. You could put me in a room full of 10, 20, 30 or maybe even 150 people and I’ll still feel lonely.

No more

I’ve had trouble with girls that it’s getting to the point where I just don’t care anymore. I can never get a date whether it’s in real life or even those lousy online dating apps. If anything, I should’ve been gay. I feel like I’ve failed as a straight man.

Metrotown life

There seems to be more hikers with bear spray there than on the trails. Is crime out of control at Metrotown or something? Every 2nd day, I hear something about bear spray at metrotown in the news.

Friendship and Hot Buttons

I have an old and dear friend. He has hot buttons for the War in Ukraine and Gaza. I walk on eggshells. If I push one of the hot buttons, he will go away and sulk for a year. Sometimes he tries to push one of the buttons, but I won’t play.

Proud envy

In recent years I have accomplished some things that few thought I could do, and many tried in vain to prevent. Throughout it all, people close to me are the ones that kept me trying even when things were bleak or when first attempts failed. Throughout February of this year so of those people took motivations from me and tried to fly themselves. One of those things happened to be something that floored me and even I thought "there's no way they could do that". At first it was almost envy. Sure they took their motivation from me, but what they did trumped anything I did by a long shot. After a few days emotion turned to pure pride. Somebody I've never really looked up to has done something that I now gaze upon with proud envy eyes in a way I never thought possible. Life and people's feats are beautiful.

23 and not me

I confess that although I’m curious about my genetic makeup, I’ll never do one of those tests. I’d be amazed if there aren’t several half siblings out there that I don’t know about. I prefer to live in blissful ignorance than be confronted with the physical evidence of just how badly my father cheated on my mother all over the world.

Low class

When you’re at the cashier, emptying out the store’s plastic basket, clear it out of the way FFS. To just leave it on the floor, where you are standing, impeding the flow of the lineup of people behind you is quite frankly assinine and self centred. You think I’m going to do it for you? You think they even have staff to do this for you? In 15 minutes, 2 different stores, 2 different plastic baskets on wheels, with the same type of consumerist turd that should stay at home bedrotting and shopping online, so that we can shop without classless bodies who don’t know shit about civility.

I SAW YOU

Happy Day Cafe on Kingsway

You were sitting by yourself & you ordered a few Curry Fish Balls and a few deep-fried Spring...

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