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Distress and Recovery

Why did it go on for so long? The constant disrespect and undercutting. Everyone watched. Speechless. The optimist in me looked for good reason and hoped for better times. I believed I just wasn’t good enough, and too dull to understand that this was all for my growth and benefit. What can I learn? Now that there is respite I begin to breathe and wonder, what really happened here?

Just an observation

I have noticed the people that I've known who say "Ya think?" Correlate exactly with the least intelligent people I've ever met. Just an observation. It's scientifical.

Illusions and delusions

They lure you in by offering you a dream. They go to extreme lengths to convince you to ignore that little voice inside telling you that it’s too good to be true, until finally you give in and take the bait. Once you’re in it and a little time has passed, you start to notice a few things. They’re a little controlling, have a bit of a temper, etc. But there are so many great things! You seem to have this amazing connection that’s different from anything you’ve experienced before. More time passes, and more of the bad stuff starts to happen, but by now you’ve invested not only your time, but your heart. Maybe you even made some significant life changes in order to be with them. Your friends and family express some concerns about certain aspects of them that worry them, but you don’t want to believe that maybe this person isn’t your soulmate after all so you push those thoughts away. It’s so incredibly hard to acknowledge that the person we love so much just fooled us, and it’s embarrassing to have to admit that you rushed into it too fast, so you keep hanging on hoping that by some miracle they’ll change and be that person who offered you the dream. But waiting only makes it harder and eventually you lose yourself in so many ways that you don’t even recognize yourself anymore. I get it, believe me. I wasted a huge amount of my life in exactly this type of relationship, and it just about killed me. No relationship is always bad, just like no person is always bad. Of course there are the great things and the great qualities, because if there wasn’t you wouldn’t have fallen for them in the first place. But those things don’t outweigh the facts. They don’t outweigh the lies and deliberate deception. Please don’t let those things keep you in this trap. You must find the strength to walk away NOW.

Big sends

Honestly, I’m still trying to claw my way back from the effects of the pandemic. I lost my amazing job, only to have had two of the shittiest jobs in my life. I took them on I good faith but both raked me through the coals. Is this what working in Canada has become?? Now EI has run out, and I’ve been hustling for the last 6 months and still no wins. What does it fucking take to get a break after all the countless work that I’ve put into applying for jobs. I’m a terrible friend and family member right now because I NEED A JOB. Sending a plea to the universe that I have suffered enough for the last 3 years, and need some stability and calm. Please send an opportunity.

Location location location

I live in Richmond and my friend lives downtown. I have always gone to see her, and then take transit (45-60 mins) or Uber home and she walks home from the bar. I asked her to come to my hood for a change. And she refused, saying she’s working on her mental health and prioritizing self care. She won’t even meet me halfway along Skytrain stops. Truly, it’s amazing how friends will farm out all the labour to you, and defend their behaviour.

My Supervisor got pregnant by me and I'm leaving for my home country soon!

My supervisor is older than me by ten years (im in my early 20's) and I have been having great sex with her for 6 months. She told me she is now pregnant and is keeping the baby. But she does not know that I am not a Canadian citizen and my tourist visa is running out in a few months after it was renewed twice, so I have to return to my home country. I will NOT be telling her about that. I have my flight ticket and will be leaving in three weeks. My country has no legal agreements with Canada for anything so she is SOL and she can't find me because she doesn't know where I live with my parents and our government services is very very bad and has addresses where we haven't lived since I was child. Even my passport has old addresses! I may see how child is doing in 20 years if she keeps it but I had my fun here. Thanks Canada!

Learning about Xi Van Fleet in class

My eyes are open. Things do not feel as peachy fuzzy as they used to be about today's political situation. Yikes! She can talk about her personal experience with communism and relate it to what our society is going through now.

Reality

Is like the Wizard of Oz. The Geat Oz is behind the curtain pulling all the levers while Dorthy and the gang is on the other side of the curtain watching all the magic thinking it is real. So what is reality?

What is is your word worth these days?

"I have no interest in knowing someone else, not in the way I know you!" You said. Now you are dating: -wearing that cologne I gifted you -sleeping in the sheets we bought together -going for walks with MY dog Fast backwards 6 years ago: broke and shit credit. I stood by you. No, you did not leave then. That joke is on me. If I see you on the walk, I will hold my head high. You see, I don't have to look for my dignity anywhere. At least I afforded me that luxury. Do, change street/direction, if you ever run into me. The world would be better for everyone that way.

Alt-Punk to Prep

I don't know if it is the political mess or growing to age and my maturity levels changing with time. The issue is that I used to dress super alternatively, want to cover myself with tattoos, and I would only date those like me. Now I'm sort of repulsed by punks. I see how juvenile they are. I sort of want to be a well-dressed prep with a few tattoos showing now. I'd gladly date someone without tattoos. Any other ex-punks feel the same way?

I SAW YOU

Smiles at the gas station

I was filling up, you were about to... we exchanged smiles, you blonde lady, me brunette (well,...

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