Search confessions

Lesbian/Gay sex?

I know a lesbian couple and a gay couple. One of the gay men had never had heterosexual sex so one of the lesbians agreed to help him learn what it was like. I'm not kidding, his partner told me about this. Why am I posting this as a confession? The notion awakened the voyeur in me I guess. I would have liked to see that encounter. Was she receptive or did they need lube? How did he get aroused if women never interested him? Did she help? Did it last long?


A long long time ago, I taught English in Asia. The group I hung out with were all in our 20s and all intent on gratifying ourselves with excess booze, going through multiple sleeping partners, traveling, late nights, etc. There was one guy named Wayne, an American from a disenfranchised group, and his main goal was to work for a few years there to save up enough money to buy a house. His goal sounded absolutely alien to us at the time, in our hedonistic immaturity. I’ve never forgotten him and his clear-sighted plans for his life, while I’ve seen friends, colleagues, acquaintances all struggle to get an affordable permanent roof over their heads. One of the party ppl returned to my city and I saw her back here earning minimum wage. In hindsight Wayne was the smart one shunning all the boozing and partying! I wonder how his life turned out when he made such gains so early.

Somehow it hurts less when.....

I have a small dick. Smaller than average. I know it isn't my fault. Sometimes a woman will say, "It's so big". That makes me feel bad because I know it isn't true. Sometimes a woman will say nothing and that makes me feel bad because I think they must be disappointed but don't want to hurt my feelings. And sometimes, a woman will say, "It's so small." and express disappointment. Somehow, that is the easiest to take. It is true.

Cell Phone Etiquette...Anyone? Anyone?

Can someone PLEASE explain to me why people use speaker phone to chat with mates in public?? I don’t care if your child had a big poop today, that your new mascara is “fab” or honey, don’t forget to get eggs on your way home. Don’t even get me started with FaceTime in public. Pfft. I think it’s rude and ridiculous the rest of society is forced to listen to your dribble. Use headphones or put the phone up to your ear for gawd sake!

Bad plan

My retirement plan is to hope that some family members or friends leave me money in their will. If not, I'll be working until I'm 100.

I give up

So I found a job and was so excited to be working again. The people at work seemed so nice and the job was interesting. But the problem comes in, they seem to be having trouble paying me. Stalling even, a bunch of Bla, bla , bla stupid excuses. The Owner seems to be doing quite well, " I'd say " and should be able to pay an employee. So why do I have to go looking for my pay, again. I did my hours, showed up on time, acted like I gave a rats ass. I was even nice and friendly to the customers. Why no pay yet? Giving you a bit more time to do whats right. You hear that? This is just a bunch of " Rigitony".

Most beautiful city in the world

Dear Vancouver, Wtf?! If it weren’t for the mountains and the ocean would anyone still live here? There is 0 culture, absolutely nothing going on. Everyone is addicted to something here, and I don’t blame them because it is a very slow, dark, uninspiring city. There are no creative outlets, and people are so consumed with status. The cost of living is FUCKED! All due to drugs and organized crime using the housing market to launder money. There is no sense of community, strangers don’t start conversations with one another, we don’t know our neighbours. The men here can’t drink at all without getting into fights. And then there’s the racism..... The food is pretty good though.

Bad Texters and "Busy" People who use dating apps

If you take 24-48 to respond to a text, from someone who you are actually interested in dating/meeting/seeing again, you suck. Honestly, you suck, you're shitty at communicating and you know it. Make all the excuses you want ("I'm a student... I work a lot... I'm busy, I'm going on a other dates") blah blah blah. How about this? If you don't have the time, space, energy, and desire to go on dates, meet people, get laid etc. - Do the rest of us a favour and stop using dating apps. You're wasting your own time and everyone else's, plus you're ruining the overall digital space we share by feeding into negative roles and behaviours that are so common to app users, online daters, and texters.

I Still Get A Laugh

When folks (mistakenly) attribute chocolate and ice cream to Laura Secord. Contrary to popular belief, she did not run a chocolate shop, but played a pivotal role in the War of 1812. Sometimes, I'll be tempted to say something ridiculous like "Oh yes, she spiked a batch of her gourmet chocolates to give American soldiers the runs so that they couldn't invade Canada!"

Winter depresses me

I hate this time of year. The short days kill me. I feel asleep at work in the mornings. Twinkly lights everywhere emphasize the black nights. The commercial Christmas pressure makes me feel empty and sad. I feel like not moving and sleeping all day. I never feel this way in the summer. Plop me barefoot on a patch of sand and let me watch the sunset at 9pm and I feel like that is the best part of the day. I’m not meant for dark, boots, heavy coats, indoor time, fluorescent lighting and Xmas jingles. If I had a spare $1000 I’d fly the fuck South. Maybe I was Cuban in my previous life.


Waiting for the Bathroom at Uncle Abe's

We talked while we were waiting in line for the washroom. You let me go ahead of you. You were...

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