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That Neighbour

I’ve been dealing with a heavy footed upstairs neighbour for the last 5 months and although it was tolerable at the start with the aid of headphones and ear plugs - I started getting pressure headaches and symptoms of tinnitus. When I developed an ear infection I decided to cease with this and just endure the noise … but realised how bad the thumping was only with secondary commentary from a friend who was visiting. When I decided to voice my complaint to my building manager.. only did the behaviour from the neighbours escalate and become antagonistic. Thumping, crashing from early evening to early morning - it was constant. It was if they were taking their life’s frustrations out on the flooring. Anyways one night I had enough. I couldn’t go back to bed. I was in this spiral of frustrating energy. So I decided to snoop. Just thru social media I found out information: names, date of birth, places of work , who the rental agent is for the apartment and other minor things. But what was probably the cream of the crop in terms of free information was that fact this person works for a leading specialist in hearing devices for the hearing impaired. What irony.

Cock block

I haven’t been well and working with medical professionals to figure things out. The problem: an MD wants to prescribe drugs for depression that have unhelpful side affects, a psychiatrist wants to label mentally illness and won’t help unless I take drugs, a gynaecologist says things are fine aside from many fibroids. I ask them all, how are my hormones? Oh your TSH is fine. The Naturopath being the only professional to order hormone tests and the results were far below. When following symptoms thyroid problems check out. I am now on medication. I have so many questions. How many medical professionals does it take to get well?

What worked for you?

Dating sites have pleasantly changed a lot, yet I still struggle to stay on them for more than 24 hours before I delete them. Regular group outings might work for me if I could muster the courage to get myself out there, yet it’s challenging to feel worthy of love. That’s an inside job I’m not sure how to broach. With each profile I come across I ask myself, does he look genuinely happy, could I get off staring into those loving eyes, and, would this person even be attracted to me? There’s so much more to attraction than this. Trust, safety, mutual respect, communication, boundaries, values, reflection. I feel overwhelmed and starved.

Cat Petting Insights

I've petted ALOT of street cats. It's incredible how diverse the personalities of cats are. Generally street cats range from friendly to frightened, but there are plenty of weirdo cats too... and occasionally a sociopath. I got mauled by one without any warning once. I didn't need stitches but I could recognize the site of the attack by the blood trail for a week. I wish I lived somewhere stable where a pretty indoor outdoor cat could visit me.

The past and present

It was easier to love you and our friendship when we were both in the same boat. We hated where we lived but making the best ot it, struggling to make ends meet. Now you've taken a great leap of faith and I'm completely stagnant. I don't know why I'm stagnant, just that I am. Time is flying by regardless of who's enjoying life and who is miserable. Listening to how great your life is going is dull and makes me depressed. Yes I realize that sounds selfish.

the price of admission

Well, I finally wrote to Translink recently, beseeching them to come up with a way to get riders to take off their backpacks when on the Skytrain. I even gave them some suggestions. They did reply. It was some boilerplate language about how they appreciate rider feedback. This isn't new news to them but am at a loss as to why they don't bother doing anything about it. I pay the same price for a ticket as other riders do, except many have a two-foot deep sack slung to their backs taking up the space of 2 people. Meanwhile, we're all jammed in there, crab walking around each other trying to find space or get in or out. The best is when pack-toting riders attempt to "get out of the way" and turn sideways - sending their Santa sack careening into some other rider. Then, after hitting them, they look all doe-eyed...."sorry" they mumble, and then turn the opposite way, swinging back in the direction from whence they came, plowing into the person at their other side. If it wasn't so frustrating, it'd be comical. Get out of your head and have a look around you. I, (and a few others) are there blinking, dumbfounded as to how you could be so oblivious to your own actions. Having an just an ounce (or 29ml if you prefer) of self-awareness, could be such an easy collective solution to what is a chronically overcrowded transit system. I don't get angry or cause a fuss. There's no point. But I do regularly ask people to please lower their backpacks. It's my ticket's space too. And if I had wanted to dance, I'd have asked.

I don't want to date lefties anymore

They're all about thought-policing and it is impossible to have a date with one without politics coming up right away. Unfortunately, it seems like that is all that exists on campus.

Baby fandom

I was asked to download an app to follow someone’s baby, after receiving an impersonal group email about the newborn. The sender has never followed me on any social media, yet was asking apparently a bunch of people to follow her baby boy. I decided not to as I felt like I was expected to join this impersonal fan club. I just don’t have it in me to give kudos endlessly for baby stuff right now. If you want to connect your baby with me, I’ll gladly hang out in person. But I’m not gonna follow your baby and idolize it like it’s some kind of celebrity. The ask is too much.

Back on FetLife, but....

Just to snoop & see if I know anyone on thing for sure....all the women posting there get lots of follows from lonely the lonely men get no follows from women....unless the women are only advertising for OnlyFans...or guys with fake profiles pretending to be women.

Value In Reaching Out

I've considered reaching out to an old friend that I lost touch with (circa 2003). If we were being honest, she was more than a friend at one point and, as most things turn out during our formative years, she turned into a fleeting memory (Great white Buffalo) that would occasionally come up from time to time. Since the city is small, we would inevitably run into each other over the years. We were "respectful" in that we would acknowledge one another, and off we would go on our separate way with our separate friends - so healthy. It's hard to believe that at a moments notice one can be so close, and then be strangers the next. The heart of the matter is that I have never felt fully understood by another human being than I did when I was with this person. This may not have been rooted in reality, but at least it felt that way. Back in those days, you would actually talk to people on the phone - four hours - while simultaneously watching the Simpsons, Buffy, and Electric Circus on Muchmusic....Anyhoooow, you really got to know someone back then is my point. In retrospect, the first thing I had to ask myself was, "would this be beneficial to the other party, and would I be reaching out for more selfish reasons?" Did the "me" portion outweigh the "we" portion? After balancing the two, it leaned more towards the "me" - so I nipped the prospect in the bud almost immediately. Since we are now in our late thirties, we are (hopefully) very different people than we were back then. But every once in a while, I think about us finally meeting again as old friends - not as heartbroken teenagers - over coffee or a pint - cracking jokes. As a realist, I don't see this ever happening. Thoughts of distant memories in Kerrisdale, 41st and Granville, Wendy's, Metro, UBC pool, and Oakridge Mall Movie Theatres will more than suffice "respectfully."


B from BCAA

Dear B: My mom caught her car over a curb this evening in front of my building so she called BCAA...

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