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Depressed confession

I turned 60 this past August I'm on government disability only have one friend plus my siblings when I turned 60 it hit me, I've wasted my life never accomplished anything being on government disability for mental health (though at least ive never been hospitalized) doesn't give you much opportunities in life....never financially secure because it's expensive to live here even with my part time job, never be able to date....& even not into their music heard that Eddie Money did and today Ric Ocasek, I'm tired of hearing people dying......I don't want to die....I don't want to die in my sleep especially by myself alone in my apartment like I am every single damn night of my life:(

C-word

My mom has recently been diagnosed with cancer. They don’t know how bad yet, but it is a serious type. I can’t stop thinking that I still need my mom. I know it’s selfish, but my siblings have children and partners. It’s just me. I’m in my early thirties and I have friends and lovers and a good job, but I’ve never felt more alone.

Gossip

To the ladies at the office who whisper & gossip: Remember when your back is turned, the person you're gossiping with is gossiping about you. Listen to how someone speaks - if they're talking shit to you about someone, most likely they're talking shit about you to someone else.

The world is such a weird place

But you know what? I'm watching it play out. Hong Kong protestors sung "God Save the Queen" yesterday. So adorable :D Looks like we need more freedom of expression and freedom of conscience in our schools. If we did that, we would lose our jobs and be sent to a special tribunal.

Text message break up

I ended a four year relationship through text message. Four years later and that’s how I ended it. I’m battling with the doubt and guilt... but I supported my ex through everything. EVERYTHING. When my family and friends had doubts about her, I ignored them. I tried to love and support her in every way I could, even when she took a job across the ocean and we had a long distance for two years. But when my career took off, she seemed to be happy for me, but she would shame me for not being the person she wanted me to be. So when she called me yelling at me at work one day over a tiny disagreement, the next morning I broke up with her through text. A part of me feels like shit that I ended it through text message, but I can’t take being putting her needs before mine anymore. Sorry “I don’t have the decency to break up with you in person”. I’m done.

Im possible

I've experienced things that I've never thought possible. I remember once when I was a teenager I started riding by bike out of my neighbourhood. I rode it to the edge of the town and then I kept riding on some country roads. I stopped at one point and thought "I never knew I could ride my bike this far without dropping of exhaustion". I feel like my life is like that now and always. I followed my heart and it got crushed. I rode it to the edges, and past the edges, and I'm still here. I thought my heart wouldn't come back to life or that it would harden. For a while it did. Love made my crushed and hardened heart come back to life, more than once. I believe in love more than I believe in anything else. It is the most important thing to me and it makes more things possible than not.

No more "nice guys"

I went on a date last night with a "nice guy", at least that's what his profile said!! "Nice guys", why do you call yourself that when you're anything but???? Seething resentment and snapping over all polite conversation is nice? Tearing into your food pretending it's the waiter's head is nice? It's a bs persona and clearly a disguise for guys who wanna wear the title and show none of the actions. I'm skipping over profiles with "nice guy" bs mention. If you were really a nice guy, you wouldn't need to say it!!!

I lost it

I am a man with multiple health issues that are very painful. I was hurting, tired, feeling ill and some woman decided to preach at me even though I asked her to stop. She got right in my face telling me I was going to hell and deserved it. Today was NOT the day to even consider that. I called her a hypocrite and asked if she had ever worked with dying people, I have, I asked her if she had tried helping homeless people, I have. I asked her if she had spent time with elderly shut ins who just needed someone to talk to. She said No to all of those, I lost it and said who in hell did she think she was telling strangers they were going to hell. I finally said I am not going to Hell I am in it now listening to her bullshit. I hate losing it but enough is enough. Keep your damn religious views to yourself and stop trying to push it on everyone. You chose your faith let me choose mine. And if it differs from yours, shut up, its none of your business! And leave people who are in pain alone.

Saving $$ + losing lbs

I confess I feel great! Vowed in April to stop buying monthly passes and to walk or cycle everywhere I can, and also since July have stopped eating Tim Hortons and other fast food... and it’s fantastic. Losing weight and spending less never felt so good. Fuck you translink but thank you also for your shitty service pushing me to be healthier. So always look on the bright side folks <3

Im mad at me today

I was suppost to tell somebody something today and I chickened out. I tried too before and some work business got in the way. Is that a sign, maybe not too? I had full intentions of saying something this morning, before work. I did! Try Again Monday? I want to trust again!

I SAW YOU

Beautiful Smile on the 240

I didn't notice you until we were across the bridge where it was standing room only and...

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