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I like the rain

Yesterday, it rained a wee bit, and I remembered why I like rain here. It washes away the pee off the downtown streets, replacing the air with that clean smell from all our plants, flowers and trees that make the city pretty. The plants get a snack and get green again, that's nice. Most of all, though, is how it makes all the beggars scramble and disappear. The streets look normal. Nobody lying around in garbage hanging around every store entrance harassing people. The streets are normal, the way it used to be. Davie Street used to be a pleasure, and somehow city hall and the VPD have ignored the conditions of the streets. They put up all these cafe spaces and built a park on a side street and the neighbourhood is like Hastings, with crazy homeless everywhere. I think the city is doing this on purpose to drive out the residents as a favor to landlords do they can raise rents as everyone flees. You sure don't see that mess in the richer neighborhoods like Yaletown, Coal Harbour or Alberni Street; they'd never allow it. But when it rains, all that mess vanishes, and it feels like a nice place again. I miss the sun, but the rain sure offers a tempting trade-off.


I bought this cute little book at dollar tree. Called " Follow your dreams they know the way". Thought I would pass along a quote or two, from time to time. Ive been a little angery lately and kinda gave up for a bit. But never for too long..lolToo Ok here we go. "Remember that sometimes not getting what you want is a wonderful stroke of luck" Dalai Lama "Too many of us are not living our dreams because we are living our fears". Les Brown


I lived in the Philippines when Durute was elected, and am sorry to say to my fellow Filipinos, that Durute is not a Filipino. His great grandfather was Chinese. Now all my family lives in the Philippines knows that since Durute has been in power, Chinese immigration has gone unchecked, and undocumented. My family's neighbors has been entirely baught and turned into a Chinese village. And Canadians know it well too, that when China is upset with Canada because of Huawei, that Durute is also upset - and sending Canadian garbage back at the same time. My country is gone and has become a province of China, and it's happening in Canada too.

Jenn Smith Talk at UBC...

... was a shit-show. UBC Security failed to secure the perimeter, allowed in protesters without tickets. They started disrupting the talk, and UBC Security decided to go talk to them, instead of summong the RCMP. The protesters then decided to pull the fire alarm. Thankfully an audience member summoned the RCMP, and the protesters were ejected. One who tried to flee was arrested, but not before she assaulted a member of the audience. Pulling the fire alarm when there is no fire is itself a criminal offence. The content of Smith's talk was that, among other things, vulnerable young foster children with disorders like autism are being told they're transgender, given drugs that will have long-term consequences like sterilization. The trope about "preventing suicide" that we hear doesn't track, there was less suicide decades ago when we were supposedly more intolerant. There's no forensic data supporting the thesis that if we don't let 6 year olds transition, without telling their parents (this is going on in schools right now), then they're going to kill themselves. It was a fantastic talk, and while UBC dropped the ball a bit, good thing we had a few men and women in the audience who did their best to maintain order. But all told, those of us peaceful, well-mannered speakers had to contend with several violations of the criminal code, including causing a disturbance, pulling a fire alarm when no fire existed, and even a common assault. Canada is in serious trouble.

Man up

To all the single men out there who want a committed relationship...have the balls to speak to a women you’re interested in. Be assertive, be a man, engage in a conversation, step up and take the lead. Stop being a bunch of pussy’s! Thank you.


Completely out of the blue today was unusually weird.

I against I

Over the course of my life, I've been gaslit to explosion, trolled, manipulated, lied to, coerced, you name it. I've been there, got the T-shirt. Still, I confess that the absolute worst mind games are the ones I play with myself.


Lately I'm trying to love myself more. I've been doing things like sleeping, yoga, eating lots of vegetables, taking medication, no alchohol, and volunteering when I can find the time. It is helping. This specific combination of things is going well so far and I hope that even as my life changes I can keep finding things that work. I had such bad mood swings in the fall that it almost killed me. I've also tried to stop looking for other peoples validation to fill my lack of self-love. I think mostly though, it is the medication that has helped. I tried a bazillion things before and they didn't work. Trauma really fucked me up and I could never get my brain back to normal. The small amount of research on the long term affects of anti depressents freak me out though.

Offline shopping

You would think with the rise of online shopping, retailers would want to enhance the customer in-store experience. Not so. 1) Bare bones staff. No one to fucking help you. 2) Shitty music blasting, pushing me out the store because I can not think with the sound level so high 3) Staff wanting something from you: no I won’t give you my name, email, phone number or postal code 4) change rooms filled with dumped clothes on the floor. It’s like my house but worse: piles of unwanted polyester. If my clothes weren’t breaking down, I would rather be anywhere than the mall looking for replacements that fit me.

Feeling gratitude

I thought I was done with Vancouver, but I just came back from Abbotsford and after being there all weekend I am so glad to come back to Vancouver's filthy streets and smelly people. Because it's not appearances that matter, it's what's inside that counts.


Riding by

You saw a woman walking along Pender toward Commercial on Saturday night. She was walking very...

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